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Hi Jess - Put simply, yes this is disordered thinking, and no you can't 'spread' calories like germs. I would suggest raising this behaviour with your therapist. I know it can be difficult to talk about these patterns of thought, but as you mentioned, you want to be free of this. All the best.
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This. I tried to squat without a rack and it took 4 weeks (even with a super strong husband helping to clean the weight so i could put it over my back) to need a rack. I also made the msitake of buying a cheap, flimsy barbell. Lasted 2 weeks before i reached the max weight. Also, i've had super progression with my lifts…
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You also need a squat rack, or a strong spotter. Because you're going to be able to squat a whole lot more than you can press overhead. I.e., i squat 85kg and press 37.5kg.
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It's important to cool the rice quickly with a fan as you season it with the vinegar. A lit of people also don't realise there's Japanese mayo in sushi which changes the taste.
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I've just started reducing my carbs and total calorie intake to something similar. This article helped me understand better what was going on with my body http://www.proteinpower.com/drmike/saturated-fat/tips-tricks-for-starting-or-restarting-low-carb-pt-ii/
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I logged my subway sandwhich for lunch today and was a bit blown away by the sodium. Even the salads are surprisingly high. But for me, it's a handy option when I'm super busy, and don't want to buy the ingredients for just one sandwhich. I get really upset when i'm throwing out half a lettuce head at the end of the week…
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Zoloft is a good drug for a combined depression and anxiety problem, and doesn't usually contribute to weight gain. As a psychologist,I hope you're also investigating non-drug therapy options, as drugs are unfortunately not a long term solution. Look into cognitive behavioural therapy.