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"the actual thought of restricting myself of what I love to be on a diet really sucks, and I think the hardest thing is to actually feel it emotionally ready to be doing it. I don't know if that makes any sense, but its just this murky difficult thing, I think." Don't think of this journey as a "diet". Just the word "diet"…
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You can make your own granola bars. Just mix some oats, mashed bananas, honey/agave, shredded coconut, nuts, dried fruits, hemp or flax seeds, a small splash of coconut oil, whatever else you want to add. Mix it until it sort of sticks together in a lump. Press into a 9"x9" pan. Bake at 350F for about 30 minutes.