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Very funny !
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Great idea ! My suggestion is to focus on bean & whole grains ...i.e : spicy black beans pea soup (yellow or green) lentil soup (may favorite since you don't have to soak the beans overnight)... beans and rice hummus and veggies salads and chick-peas check http://www.drmirkin.com/recipes/recipeListType.html for recipes.
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I heard melatonin was helpful to fall asleep (not staying asleep) and can only be taken for very short periods. If you're tired by 8, why not go to sleep then ? It might be boring but you don't eat while sleeping and it lets your body recuperate when needed. For the rest, one day does not a diet make. Keep trying to make…
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One once of old cheddar.
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Blend it with yogurt and a little lemon juice and use is as a facial. Good for your skin and no calories !