edisonsbulb Member

A guy who looks just like Drake and does batting swings at himself in the mirror between sets.

Depends on how much cottage is in it.

This happened to me before in a significant relationship. He said it was because of whatever lame reasons he could conjure. But the reality was obvious, he just could not accept it at the time. He was looking for a way out of our relationship. I repeatedly offered him an out, but he wouldn't take it. Insisted he loved me…

I read my emails on my phone in bed in the morning. Makes me 15 minutes late for everything in my life.

*gouges eyes out with a lobster fork*

I tell people I drink socially, but I'm pretty social. :)

I liked her username.

I read the title as "pissed on myself this morning."

I only get that many FR's when I shave the hump on my back.

April Fool's! Right? .....right?

I think you should ignore all 99% of the responses telling you this is a bad idea and focus on the 1% of the responses that give you the answers you were looking for when you made this post. You know you're going to try it anyway, so just go try it and see what happens.

This. Start saving now for your divorce lawyer.

I don't allow photos to be taken when I'm sucking it in. It would ruin me during my run for president.

I love when it fits!

^ what they said

Have your husband make dinner for himself and your daughter. Maybe help him out by making whatever course of your meal that they will share.

Wait How much do your freckles weigh?

I think part of it depends on where in California you are. SoCal just had that earthquake and all.

This. You'll just as soon pry my low-ball from my cold, dead, fat, fingers.

The gym is how I exercise without being propositioned for sex and drugs or attacked during my workout. I got a gym membership to escape my scary neighborhood.

^^ Fine! I live on the first floor! ....and I have jalousie windows :frown:

Tied them together like a rope and used them to sneak out of my bedroom window.

You'll know you're in ketosis if your breath smells like a rotting a cat corpse on a tin roof in the summer in Bangladesh.

So, you're saying to hold off on dropping the gif with the cat putting his paw over Ariana Grande's mouth?

Boom.

:heart: yes you are You should change your username to butterfliesandlove6969 or xoxosweetsassy.