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I was once called a horrible c unt. The fact is, it's true.

You've gained 5 pounds! You're not struggling to consume enough calories!!

Maths is an abbreviation for Mathematics, not Mathematic. When you abbreviate something it doesn't change it from being plural to singular. Why do you septics suddenly go all Francais when it comes to words like fillet and herb? And why do septics have absolutely no sense of humour? I suppose that explains why they boast…

Well she killed a few mice and an occasional rabbit, and she once did a poo behind the sofa, but apart from that she was a loving ball of fluff. According to her no cats, even the nicest ones, go to heaven. Dogs don't go either, so that cartoon movie was based on a lie. Monkeys don't even go either (even though we've…

That's the whole point of rhyming slang, you dipstick.