Mr_Bad_Example Member

I have never in my life said anything that could be even remotely construed as sarcastic. I just came to this thread to view the high level of humor and discourse and, well, I must say I was flabbergasted. Bravo, folks!

This is probably the greatest thread ever created. Wait, I take that back - this may be the greatest collection of English language writings ever in one place. I am going to screenshot this and send it over to the Smithsonian. No, really.

I prefer butter. And bacon.

Because I want noodz.

Dr. Oz? 2 week diet? Jump start?

Yeah, so you can brag on the Internet. That's about it.

So when you have toothpaste poo, do you have to squeeze from the bottom or from the top?

I hear he's the frontman for this band...

Just break up.

If you stick with eating a variety of foods in moderation that fit your caloric requirements, it does get easier, it does work, and you live a much happier life without being bitterly pissed over someone else's cheeseburgers and pasta. That seems to be a mature and effective approach to me.

69 calories. Unless you swallow.

Well I'm always looking for something new to add to the ol' bucket list.

Didn't think that you didn't know - I just always wanted to use a Blue Velvet gif in a forum post. Now, my life is complete.

Nitrous oxide

Yeah, felons have lots of fascinating stories to tell.

You must hang out with a lot of *kitten* then.

The MBTI has no scientific reliability or validity, and psychology can't even agree on a uniform definition of personality. Therefore, my type is GTFO.

Well, this is patently ridiculous. Tell you what - you just send me all of the pizza you are eschewing for your 'dream body'. I will happily eat it and continue to look and feel good, mmmmkay?

Don't 'waist' your time. See what I did there?

Hot dog water is great for detoxing, I hear. But make sure to let it cool before you drink it. You don't want to burn yourself.

If only I looked like Justin Bieber.

Nah.

If Justin Bieber is great at anything, than it is most assuredly a dream and not real life.

I'd say that it might be a good idea to find ways to cut back on the load of work you have in your life. Running on empty just runs you into the ground. Is it possible for others to lend a hand and help out with some of the many tasks that are placing demands on you (i.e. the housework and taking care of the dogs)? That…

Well... I quit losing weight when I hit my goal. Now I maintain. So yeah, I guess at some point you do stop losing weight, but let's not paint with too broad of a brush here.

I want more friends who have chocolate. And bacon. And diet Pepsi.