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Denise, dont focus on the big picture, take one day, one meal, or one snack at a time. Trust me, the weight will come off. Think of it as a lifestyle change, not as an effort to drop 20 Lbs!
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You are in the right place. Just keep on trying, and be honest about your intake and exercise. Instead of eating more and feeling worse, you asked for help! Your head and heart are in the right place!