Chaotic_Weevil Member

I'm not allowed to visit the house of mirrors at the local carnival for the same reason. Facists

I'd do illegal experimentation on animals because I want to know what a dog giraffe would look like, I hope it would just be like a dog with a really long neck because I would make it wear lots of chain necklaces with dollar signs on them

Try overeating naked in front of the mirror, it took a while to work for me but got better after this one time I accidentally did it in front of a window, now my neighbour is trying to get a restraining order against me and I can't buy snacks because I have too many legal bills.

I saw my neighbour fall down on his lawn when I was out getting the paper, it was funny because he keeps telling me to turn off my sprinklers and to stop using hardcore pornography to black out my windows, also because he fell while I was throwing rocks at him

Go out dressed a hyper realistic velociraptors and scare a bunch of people, but then be like "don't worry guys we aren't really velociraptors" and take the suits off, but under the suits we are wearing T-Rex costumes and would have knives

Ate a scented candle once by accident because it was shaped like a cupcake and smelled really nice. But she discovered she really likes eating scented candles

Pancakes that you just keep eating even though you're really full but then you actually find out the pancakes had drugs in them, so you order more because it's a really good deal to get all those drugs for the same price as some pancakes

She wears pants in photos but probably not all the time because it would be too hard to shower or go to the toilet unless you had one of those old timey flaps on the pants

Build a really good sand castle that we can live in, and one day a tv crew will come make a documentary about us and we will say "we will only be in the documentary if Donald Trump comes to interview us" but then when Donald Trump comes we would just laugh and blow sand in his eyes which we would have because we live in a…

I have but I work out by swimming. I don't have a pool so I just rolled around naked in a small puddle in my front yard, my neighbours called the police because they thought I was having a seizure but I think they were just trying to get back at me because I've been stealing their mail.

I would use horse puns all the time but then act super offended if anyone else did just for kicks

Ellie Kemper

Also I wouldn't wear pants but I would wear clothes on my horse half probably slogan shirts or a chef outfit. Then I could go into the back of restaurants and eat all the food and first people would be like "Hey there is a horse in here! Lets get rid of it!" But then they would see the chef outfit and be like " its ok he…

If I could be any mythical creature I would be a Centaur but a backwards version where my legs are human but my torso and head are horse because I could eat hay and if anyone asked me to do something I didn't want to I could be like no sorry I don't have thumbs.

Break into private properties with fruit trees and steal all the fruits to make little edible fruit dolls from and when we are tracked down and questioned about the missing fruit we can be like "no we don't know anything about it but would you like this miniature version of Scully and Mulder from the X files that we made…

Michelle Phifer

Because I need someone to travel around with me and blow a horn when I enter a room and also tell me if I have spinach in my teeth

An affinity for light coloured sweatpants because when he has an irrational fear that a shark will think he is a seal and attack him even though he isn't in the ocean and doesn't even look like a seal

You look like if we were in a horror movie together you wouldn't be that one person who is all like "hey let's split up"

All thumbs instead of regular fingers because I feel like it would be good for activites and would make my gloves look really cool

Go to grocery stores and sneakily swap items from one persons cart into another and wait for them to accuse each other of stealing and get into a fight where they swear blood oaths against each other's families or maybe throw eggs at each other

StarExplosion, Mistress of the light and dark and destroyer of the insignificant. Leader of the free and the indentured and demigoddess of stealing pens from public buildings

He's preparing a meal in the kitchen and innocuously tips over a glass of water, but didn't notice. He goes to open the fridge to get some kale or whatever and an apple rolls out of a hole in the crisper, it travels along the floor and comes to rest near the newly made puddle. He goes on to plug in his blender, needing an…

Eyes that are all like, "screw this sun protection I do what I want"

Hair

I often go through days where I have no interest in anything beyond breakfast and may only eat 600 or so calories for the day, but after a couple days of that I will have a few where I'm ravenous and it all evens out. If you are similar then I think it's ok to not eat when you're not hungry. But if you don't see yourself…

Melt a laughing cow cheese over the top. Garlic powder, onion powder or morrocan spice are all nice sprinkled on top. Mix a tablespoon of Greek yoghurt with a little lower calorie sweet chilli sauce or sririacha. Dip veggies in it.