luthergravy

Capaldi is the man... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Blf073f2Lc

And of course what you Americans call a bicycle, over here we call a spazzwanker.

Aye, it does actually. It gives me a semi, in fact.

I don't know what you mean, fella. You (gently) criticised Americans for lazy use of the language and then do exactly the same yourself but somehow that's different? And what, you're allowed to type loosely but not allowed to speak that way? No, I don't get it, to be honest with you. The initial view you posted, which I…

Are the Yanks allowed the same leeway, then? Or is their use of the language just 'lazy' ;-)

Rhyming slang is everywhere mate, not just within the sound of Bow Bells - and many well-used English language colloqualisms stem from it. The term 'berk', for example, isn't necessarily commonly associated with rhyming slang anymore, although that's its origin. And new slang words are introduced from all over the country,…

Some of you people are having a giraffe, surely?

...or a timekeeping super-massive bird-cat.

I would also like to attend this proposed meeting. Perhaps in an administrative role as minute-taker.

No. Your premise is entirely incorrect. The universe is basically like an incredibly super-massive cat. With windows. And a clock strapped to its beak. Oh, sorry did I not say? It has a beak. It's like a kind of bird-cat. And it's round. I hope that helps clarify things for you.

An extremely capable light aircraft pilot.

Throw a chair at.

The sort of person about whom neighbours would be interviewed on television and describe thus: "I always thought there was something a bit odd about them, but I never thought they were capable of such an appalling atrocity."

1. In a relationship with a cat that is probably best described as 'unconventional' 2. Aged 78 3. Manufacturer of speciality biscuits imprinted with pictures of famous Japanese landmarks

Bacon Academy Police Bacon Bacon Academy 2 Police Bacon 2 Bacon Academy 3 Police Bacon 3 Bacon Academy 4 Police Bacon 4 Bacon Academy 5 Police Bacon 5 Bacon Academy 6 Police Bacon 6 Bacon Academy 7 Police Bacon 7

I've got a few... Monty Python and the Holy Bacon Monty Python and the Bacon Grail Monthy Python and bacon Holy Grail Monty Python bacon the Holy Grail Monty Bacon and the Holy Grail Bacon Python and the Holy Grail I still think this would work better with 'wool'.

What an absolutely fantastic idea for a game. I can think of a lot of names of films - all of which could indeed have one word in their title replaced by the word bacon. It works for ANY film in the world - I think that's the beauty of the game. Except that instead of using the word "bacon" as a replacement, I think…

I can only presume that no-one has mentioned me yet because I removed the photo of me in my crusted hessian undergarments.

Rock and roll is full of bad wools - Half Man Half Biscuit

I apologise to all those who feel threatened by me. In order to prevent complete chaos and disorder breaking out across the boards, I have now removed the infamous photo of me in my smoking jacket and slippers holding a (large) pot of tea at just below waist height. But whilst I am clearly the most attractive man on here,…

Queens Park Rangers. All the big names have played for us: Dean Coney, Ernie Howe, Mike Fillery, Sammy Koejoe, Kurt Bakholt, Dominic Iorfa... the list goes on.

...has hung that wreath on the wrong side of the door, surely?

It really couldn't be simpler. If you eat 1200 calories and burn off 400 as a result of exercise, then you need to increase your exercise tolerance calorific value by a factor of 0.7 in order to maintain the allocation of energy required to maintain your weight or weight loss or weight gain, depending on the calorie levels…

Solarpower - marks off for drawing lines across your belly with a felt tip. 4.

I am 84. I am at best non-committal with regards to fitness and I have no sense of humour at all. People disgust and annoy me, generally speaking. In all honesty, I suspect I may be on the wrong website.