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I would keep it at 3, if you can get there more, cool. But, most people aim for 3. Try to incorporate some lifting.
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Yes and no. Diet soda is supposed to have some hunger inducing effects, but eat right throughout the day, and you won't be hungry. Google IIFYM or IF. One of the two works for most people.
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No! If you put your activity level into MFP, it calculates based upon that. So, it's already accounted for you going to the gym 3x a week or w/e you put. Now, you start throwing that into MFP, and i counts it double. i.e. My maintenance while lifting weights is ~2450 calories. Again, that's already counting lifting…