My journey-this time feels right

ksugirl13
ksugirl13 Posts: 32 Member
This is not my first attempt at EM2WL, but I am determined to have this be the time I get it right. I took a break (not sure how long) from tracking my food and I'm sure it was all over the place. I don't think I was crazy low because I was basically just eating whatever I wanted whenever I wanted and not wanting to stress about numbers. However some days the stress of knowing I had been eating junk and needed to improve my health was so great that I would then just skip meals because thinking about food at all was too stressful. I stopped weighing myself and cut way down on working out. I was fed up, stressed out (due to multiple different factors) and just needed a break.

Looking back, I don't think I was ever truly in the right headspace for EM2WL. I'd see some progress and evidence that it was working, but ultimately I'd get annoyed that it wasn't fast enough (dumb, I know, this warning is everywhere). So, I'm going about things a little differently this time. One big change that I think will help improve my success/health/stress levels is after 6 years of working night shift, I am switching to evening shift after this weekend. I've wanted to get off night shift for awhile and I know that part of my health problems and difficulty with weight and eating is my work and sleep schedule. Some days I get as little as 3 hrs of sleep and then I binge and get 12+ hrs (kind of like my eating habits, hmmm). Evening shift means that I can actually develop a routine that is pretty consistent day in and day out and I haven't had that since probably high school (so 11 years).

So here's my plan: I've already started tracking my food again really focusing on my TDEE and water intake to start, and have been successful for the last 5 days; I bought a fitbit charge HR and have worn that for the past 2 days to try and help me determine my TDEE and encourage me to be more active again; I bought a groupon for 20 classes at a yoga studio (love yoga for the stretching and stress relief but have gotten away from it) and went to my 1st class; I started weighing myself again daily and am tracking the trends; and most importantly, I am really focusing on my mental health this time around. I am working on gaining a positive body image for where I am at right now and not let the scale or others define me. And currently, I am not even worried about how long I am resetting for, I am just trying to figure out what feels right.

I know that this process gets a lot harder and there are several hurdles (mental and otherwise) yet to come, but for the first time in awhile I feel like I'm in a good place and investing in myself again!

Replies

  • Raynn1
    Raynn1 Posts: 1,164 Member
    Awesome, awesome post. Welcome back and congrats on your new approach!! I love everything you have said here, including that you are focused on Mental Health this time and a positive body image. When I made that click, it made a world of difference in how I felt about the world, myself and the people around me. I am a lot happier now even though I am heavier now that I ever was. Mental health is a huge win!!

    Welcome back and any questions you have, we are here to help!!

    Kelly
    EM2WL Ambassador and Moderator
  • empressichel
    empressichel Posts: 730 Member
    Love your plan!
    You have it exactly right just focusing on one or at most two things at a time. Nail those until they are second nature.
    Mental health is an absolute priority. Doesn't matter what other changes we make in our lifestyles, unless we tackle stress we will get nowhere, in fact we are most likely to go backwards :(
    So glad you are giving this another shot. Definitely sounds like you are more than ready.
    Oh and one more thing as you start out. Take pictures! Everybody told me that and I didn't want to to start with, but now am so glad that I did.
    There will be times that the scale, even the tape measure will not show any progress, but the pictures show the subtle compound changes that happen over time.
    Here is a blog that I have to read over and over. Guilty as charged! :/
    http://eatmore2weighless.com/stress-makes-you-fat/
    Ichel
    EM2WL Ambassador and Moderator
  • TerezaToledo
    TerezaToledo Posts: 613 Member
    @ksugirl13 Welcome back! Wow, I love your mindset and how you are dealing with it! Kudos for realizing that the mental factor needs to be addressed and taken care of. Yay for yoga, it will definitely help you with the stress. Yes, focus on your TDEE for now. Baby steps, change one thing at a time until you master it, then chose something else to implement. Do not overwhelm yourself with everything at once. Just start and keep doing, comsistency is the key!

    We all want things quickly, but actually time will pass anyway and anything you achieve quickly does not last. Take your time, have patience, be persistent and you will not only achieve what you want, but will keep it for life.
    A little reminder that quick fixes don't work:


    Tereza
    Team EM2WL
  • ksugirl13
    ksugirl13 Posts: 32 Member
    Wow thanks so much for the feedback! Everything you guys have said, plus that article really help; I love the sense of community. Last night I continued to read more EM2WL articles and threads here. I can't believe how clear everything seems right now, like a veil has finally been lifted! I am expecting the doubts and frustrations to creep in at some point, but I feel more prepared for them this time then ever before.

    Also after looking at 2 full days with my fitbit charge hr, I realize I have still been underestimating my TDEE. I am not really very active anymore and have totally gotten away from going to the gym or lifting. I thought I was more of a desk job with little activity, but I'm actually between the light and moderate exercise just with everyday activities and making a little more effort to get steps in! Time to up the calories again :smiley:
  • jerilynconn
    jerilynconn Posts: 524 Member
    Keep us updated. I've found that to be very helpful for myself. & Others.
  • empressichel
    empressichel Posts: 730 Member
    ksugirl13 wrote: »
    Wow thanks so much for the feedback! Everything you guys have said, plus that article really help; I love the sense of community. Last night I continued to read more EM2WL articles and threads here. I can't believe how clear everything seems right now, like a veil has finally been lifted! I am expecting the doubts and frustrations to creep in at some point, but I feel more prepared for them this time then ever before.

    Also after looking at 2 full days with my fitbit charge hr, I realize I have still been underestimating my TDEE. I am not really very active anymore and have totally gotten away from going to the gym or lifting. I thought I was more of a desk job with little activity, but I'm actually between the light and moderate exercise just with everyday activities and making a little more effort to get steps in! Time to up the calories again :smiley:

    This is so great to read!
    We are all here to help each other.
    It's amazing how we presume we should be eating less than we do, when ofetn we need to eat MORE.
    Can't wait for your future updates
    Ichel
    EM2WL Ambassador and Moderator
  • ksugirl13
    ksugirl13 Posts: 32 Member
    Despite piling on the calorie my weight has been staying in the same range, even trending somewhat down! So crazy, I wouldn't believe it if I weren't seeing it myself.

    So I do have a question, what would your advice be to help with as accurate as possible tracking when you're away from home? I have a week long summer camp that I volunteer for coming up the 1st week in August. I don't want to lose the progress and healing that is taking place to my metabolism, but I'll have little day in what my meals are or how they're prepared. I also worry it will be difficult to get in my full amount of calories (I'm up to about 2890). Should I just do my best at guessing (in getting better at eyeballing serving sizes) realizing there will be inaccuracies? And then should I shoot for more of a range somewhere between my TDEE and cut amount for the week, and return to my reset afterwards? I'm not really focusing on my macros yet, so I think I'll just wait until after camp before concentrating on them. Any advice or suggestions are appreciated! Oh and just a little more info, this camp has a dining hall and good is served up cafeteria style, but there is a salad bar available at most lunch and dinner times that should help me up my calories and fiber!
  • scaryann1
    scaryann1 Posts: 259 Member
    I don't have any ideas or suggestions right now, but I had to jump in and say isn't it a great feeling to be putting so many more calories in and having the weight and inches drop off! I'm loving it! I have more than doubled my calorie intake in the last year and have dropped over 20 pounds and six inches off my waist! I'm still in the process of finding my TDEE. If you had told me a year ago that I would be losing at inches and pounds at 2000 calories a day, I would have laughed in your face! In fact I did laugh at my dietitian when she first said I had to eat more. She "made" me double my calorie intake the very next day, and while I have moaned and groaned about it, I haven't looked back. I'm already wondering how in the world I managed to do anything at that calorie level.

    Have a great week at camp!
  • TerezaToledo
    TerezaToledo Posts: 613 Member
    @ksugirl13 , Isn't it mind blowing that you can eat more and maintain/lose weight? Gotta love that! Woohoo!
    I know you just want to keep going at this time and you are right. My suggestion would be either treat the camp week as a logging break, trying to listen to your body and hunger cues while trying to focus on fiber and protein (and keeping in mind that it's just for that week and it's not a free for all) or try to guesstimate as well as you can and log what you eat. Choose the one that will be less stressful for you, both will be fine and will not ruin everything. If you are concerned about not hitting your target goals, take some nuts or protein bars, if you are allowed to bring with you. I'm in the Middle East and will be here until the second week of August. I brought a big stash of protein powder and Quest bars with me for the days I don't have what I want nearby. Also I haven't been logging since some of the foods are just hard to do and I don't have as much saying as if I was cooking (which I will only do for breakfast until we go back home)
    The calorie range would be the one that you would be doing as if you were home (you are working on reseting, right?). If you were cutting, I would suggest a diet break week.

    @scaryann1, I love how every time you post you have some progress to share! If you are ok with it, I'll share your quote once again!

    Tereza
    Team EM2WL
  • scaryann1
    scaryann1 Posts: 259 Member
    @TerezaToledo Of course you can share! I just got the companion app to go with MFP and just found some of the cool things it tracks, so of course I'm playing around with it. Heck I had no idea that I could burn over 200 calories while washing dishes for 20 mins. LOL I almost wish I had it the day before yesterday when we went Geocaching. :smiley:
  • jerilynconn
    jerilynconn Posts: 524 Member
    I haven't lost inches or pounds while increasing (sadly) but I am still happy. If i can't lose weight I'd rather eat as much as possible. And hopefully, someday, I can slim down! (Or notice since maybe I am but it is a slow process.)
  • Raynn1
    Raynn1 Posts: 1,164 Member
    @ksugirl13 Amazing to hear about the trending downward! Eats for the win!!:)

    As for camp, are you able to take any food with you? Im a Brownie leader and when we do camps there is little control over what the group decides on meals, But I always take with me protein bars/shakes to fill in gaps. Depending on your camp rules, Id maybe see if there is a way to bring snacks with you.. nuts/seeds bars and shakes can help round out your calories and protein levels.

    If not, then I agree with @TerezaToledo and take a logging break and just enjoy the camp. A week off will not derail your efforts. If you are able to, at each meal concentrate on the protein offered and increase the amount if possible, especially if you are serving yourself. Thats the easiest way to ensure your protein will stay high. But outside of that, dont stress it and enjoy the camp:)

    Kelly
    EM2WL Ambassador and Moderator