Any Married ladies?
AspiringPinkPinUp
Posts: 448
Hi all!!
I'm glad to have this group and a place I feel like I can ask this question. I'm just wondering how your weight loss decision and journey has affected your relationship? I ask simply because since I started mine, I feel it's driven a big wedge between my husband and I.
At the beginning of my starting all of this, he was very supportive and loved that I was starting to feel good about myself. Now, he rarely says anything. Never motivates me anymore. He's become distant. I've asked several different questions; are you scared I'll leave you? Are you feeling insecure? Does my trying to get you in the fitness kick bother you? etc, and he says no. I don't get it.
I feel lost, and not sure where to turn from here. I cannot give up on my weight loss & health because it's causing him to be uncomfortable and such. I know that probably sounds cold but c'mon! I'm 27 yrs old and obese! I don't want to be anymore but I feel guilty now... :ohwell:
I'm glad to have this group and a place I feel like I can ask this question. I'm just wondering how your weight loss decision and journey has affected your relationship? I ask simply because since I started mine, I feel it's driven a big wedge between my husband and I.
At the beginning of my starting all of this, he was very supportive and loved that I was starting to feel good about myself. Now, he rarely says anything. Never motivates me anymore. He's become distant. I've asked several different questions; are you scared I'll leave you? Are you feeling insecure? Does my trying to get you in the fitness kick bother you? etc, and he says no. I don't get it.
I feel lost, and not sure where to turn from here. I cannot give up on my weight loss & health because it's causing him to be uncomfortable and such. I know that probably sounds cold but c'mon! I'm 27 yrs old and obese! I don't want to be anymore but I feel guilty now... :ohwell:
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Replies
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Unless he is willing to be honest with you about how he is feeling about the 'new' you then you are left with very little options on how to mend it.
Why would you feel guilty, this is about him and has nothing to do with you. From what you have said he is the one that has put the distance in the relationship.
Dont give up on your weight loss which will lead to a good healthy life ahead.. after all, you are only 27 years old... I am 40 and can cry buckets that it has taken me this long for my light bulb moment.
I have heard it is hard for partners/friends to sometimes accept the changes... so maybe just give him time, dont push your health regime on him and keep up the great work of losing the weight and getting fit!
I hope he comes around and realises this benefits the both of you...0 -
Unless he is willing to be honest with you about how he is feeling about the 'new' you then you are left with very little options on how to mend it.
Why would you feel guilty, this is about him and has nothing to do with you. From what you have said he is the one that has put the distance in the relationship.
Dont give up on your weight loss which will lead to a good healthy life ahead.. after all, you are only 27 years old... I am 40 and can cry buckets that it has taken me this long for my light bulb moment.
I have heard it is hard for partners/friends to sometimes accept the changes... so maybe just give him time, dont push your health regime on him and keep up the great work of losing the weight and getting fit!
I hope he comes around and realises this benefits the both of you...
I have stopped trying to get him interested in the gym, and healthier eating, etc. I stopped that a couple of weeks ago. Still doesn't seem to make a difference. I'm not really sure why I feel guilty? Perhaps because a part of me thinks that, if I hadn't started down this road then we wouldn't be half as rocky as we are now. Then again, also make me wonder if there wasn't something underlying that is just now surfacing...I have no idea!!0 -
I dont know how long you have been married, or how long you have known your husband...... so this is my experience.
I have been with my husband fort 11 going on 12 years, we have been married for 9 years this year. Through this time we have had our absolute highs and our absolute lows... marriage is not always easy.
My husband doesnt talk... i dont think most men like to 'talk' about their feelings, however, over time he has come to understand that it is important to talk when things are low...
Most things in a marriage can be sorted out by just communicating, and being best friends usually sees you through the rough times.
You started down this road for YOU, there is no need to feel guilty over the desire to be healthy and feel beautiful and sexy and all the other great things that come with being healthy and please be proud of your choice... it is the best one for YOU.
It is next to impossible to give you any advice not knowing either of you. I dont know if you are able to just be honest with him and put all your feelings and fears on the table... ultimately what he does with your honesty becomes your answer.
Be good to yourself xx0
