Self Defence - who does what?

castadiva

I had a rather scary end to my weekend (I'm OK), which got me thinking about self-defence. Does anyone here practice a particular form? I always meant to learn, but never had a compelling reason to do so. Now, I do. Krav maga and aikido have both been suggested to me as good sources for basic skills, but I wondered if anyone here practices a particular form or has any recommendations? Although I am thinking about this as a woman, both genders can find themselves in this sort of situation, so I'd be interested to hear what the different approaches are among the Peeps.

Daisy_Cutter_

I'm really glad you're okay. I bet it was a very scary situation. I've never really been in that situation but have thought about it. I would love to know what the group recommends as well. I talked about my daughter and I taking lessons together. I fully believe you need to be prepared for the crazy *kitten* in life.

Hugs... I truly hope you're mentally okay too....

:flowerforyou:

diodelcibo

I do boxing and used to Muai Thai boxing socially which had an aspect of self-defence to do it.

fullofwhimsy

Rather than any martial arts I would look for a women's self defense class..often offered at martial arts places or community centres. They give the basics of defense from a female perspective and are shorter and more focused on that specifically than learning all the elements of a particular style. If you just want to feel empowered and capable and know how to wound someone long enough to run away..go that route.

Sincerely hoping you are okay.

jenbit

I have a red belt in Tae kwan do and my school often offered several specia l self defense classes a month... I recommend something like a martial art school because you get continious practice. With out practice your won't respond the way it should... Most self defense movements should be as natural as breathing.... I once had a male friend hink it would be funny to sneak up on me at night while I was walking home alone.... Yeah he only did it once......You should practice often enough that your body is responding almost before your mind processes whats happening

dbrightwell1270

I may get ripped but unless you are planning to do it to the point that it comes a second nature to you, there isn't really much benefit to learning self defense. If it isn't second nature and you have to think about it, you don't get much out of it other than the benefits that come from exercise. All you'll have is a false sense of security and the potential to get hurt worse because you overestimate your abilities and inaccurately assess the danger level. When it is 2nd nature and you are fully proficient with the techniques, it is a valuable tool provided the field is somewhat level (I'd still bet on the person with the gun over the average black belt in any martial art, etc.) I think Danielle's suggestion is the best. Take a self-defense class that is basically designed to teach you how to escape if you are in a situation where you need to that. Even then, you may need to practice those techniques so that they aren't rusty when/if you need them.

pa_jorg

OMG, I'm so sorry to hear that and I really hope you are ok!

jesusHchris

I love Muay Thai - it is direct and violent. However, it is a martial art and not a self defense skill. Same with boxing, BJJ, etc. They are helpful in a street fight if you know what you are doing but not what I think you are looking for.

Krav Maga, on the other hand, is perfect. I've been to some classes and it is pretty brutal and without the fanfare of a "sport fighting" type discipline. The first thing they taught was a kick to the nuts.

Check it out, you might have fun.

flimflamfloz

I may get ripped but unless you are planning to do it to the point that it comes a second nature to you, there isn't really much benefit to learning self defense. If it isn't second nature and you have to think about it, you don't get much out of it other than the benefits that come from exercise.

I'd still bet on the person with the gun over the average black belt in any martial art, etc.

This.
My advice is: just learn to run as fast as you can.

castadiva

I may get ripped but unless you are planning to do it to the point that it comes a second nature to you, there isn't really much benefit to learning self defense. If it isn't second nature and you have to think about it, you don't get much out of it other than the benefits that come from exercise.

I'd still bet on the person with the gun over the average black belt in any martial art, etc.

This.
My advice is: just learn to run as fast as you can.

I'm very happy to run, if I can - I'm not keen on conflict, even less on physical violence, and I'd prioritise getting to safety over any sort of revenge or damage every time. That said, I think it would be worth knowing how to get out of a hold if someone grabbed me from behind, or by the throat, for example. DBrightwell and jenbit - I'm sure you're right about needing lots of practice in any martial art for it to be really useful, rather than dangerous due to overconfidence. In the short term, though, as this is a current and ongoing issue, I'd really like a better idea of the basics to start with. jesusHchris' description of Krav Maga does sound like exactly what I'm looking for I've fortunately never needed to defend myself physically before, so a little confidence that I know how to get free, in whatever way is appropriate, would be helpful for peace of mind, if nothing else.

jesusHchris

Running is not a self defense. I don't agree with the school of thought saying defending yourself is dangerous and you should simply give in to any threat of violence. It's that sort of passivity that breeds these would-be attackers. They know you will roll over. Most of them would rather select a victim who isn't going to bash their face in. I think you would find that a purse-snatcher or booty-grabber would probably run themselves if attacked.

There are extreme situations, sure. But this could be either direction. You could give in and be raped. Or you could fight back and be killed. I guess it just depends what stance you want to take and each situation would require some sort of assessment.

I definitely don't think that the practice and experience itself will put you in danger. If anything, it will raise your confidence and that is something that people perceive when sussing out who to mess with. Willful ignorance is not a solution.

So there, guys. Woohoo, I got in my forum argument for the month.

Later!

dbrightwell1270

Running is not a self defense. I don't agree with the school of thought saying defending yourself is dangerous and you should simply give in to any threat of violence. It's that sort of passivity that breeds these would-be attackers. They know you will roll over. Most of them would rather select a victim who isn't going to bash their face in. I think you would find that a purse-snatcher or booty-grabber would probably run themselves if attacked.

There are extreme situations, sure. But this could be either direction. You could give in and be raped. Or you could fight back and be killed. I guess it just depends what stance you want to take and each situation would require some sort of assessment.

I definitely don't think that the practice and experience itself will put you in danger. If anything, it will raise your confidence and that is something that people perceive when sussing out who to mess with. Willful ignorance is not a solution.

So there, guys. Woohoo, I got in my forum argument for the month.

Later!

I'll back off my original position a little bit. When I wrote it I was thinking about a conversation I had about 15 years ago with a friend who is a cop. I have a 1st degree brown belt in Judo and asked him what kind of self defense the police learn. He basically said that learning a martial art was impractical because of the amount of time necessary to become proficient and the amount of work it takes to maintain the skills. I thought it was odd at the time but after getting a full time job, a bunch of other responsibilities and just changing priorities I don't think I could confidently do much of it today. It would still have some value but if someone had a knife or gun, I wouldn't be confident that I could use a wrist or arm bar to disarm them and if I failed in such an attempt I'd likely be dead or badly wounded. If I was approached by some drunk or otherwise rowdy idiot just looking for a fight, I'd be able to protect myself at least well enough to make his life miserable.

One thing I didn't consider when I wrote my original response is that there is an added benefit for some women. Women, in general, are more likely to be squeemish about violence and more hesitant in a physical confrontation. Learning a martial art is a way to get comfortable with physical confrontation in a controlled environment.

Roadie2000

Nah, if I really wanted to defend myself I'd just get a gun. Martial arts classes seem like a lot of work just to end up getting shot.

jenbit

Nah, if I really wanted to defend myself I'd just get a gun. Martial arts classes seem like a lot of work just to end up getting shot.

While I know gun laws are mor stick in the UK Casta get a knife a mini baton for you keys.... The only time I dont have some kind of rapidly avalible weapon on me is at work...... But apperantly I also give off a "don't fuk with me" aura lol.......

castadiva

Nah, if I really wanted to defend myself I'd just get a gun. Martial arts classes seem like a lot of work just to end up getting shot.

While I know gun laws are mor stick in the UK Casta get a knife a mini baton for you keys.... The only time I dont have some kind of rapidly avalible weapon on me is at work...... But apperantly I also give off a "don't fuk with me" aura lol.......

Gun laws are more strict here, and it's illegal to carry a knife of any significant size as well - a pen-knife is about the limit. I don't particularly want a specific weapon in any case, just to know that I could get out of a hold if someone grabbed me, or at least fight back effectively enough to make it not worth their while and/or hold them off long enough attract attention and help. What's a mini baton?

ETA - I've never had any trouble before now - clearly I don't look like a good target to the random street villain - but the person who poses a threat at present is unbalanced/irrational and has certain dependencies... That's why I'm taking his threats seriously, as I simply don't know if he will try to follow through or not, and he has shown already that physical violence is something he is willing to use.

contingencyplan

For self defense I prefer Aikido. Out of all of the arts I am familiar with it is the most practical when used for purely self defense purposes.

-It is not very dependent upon having a high degree of physical fitness/conditioning in order to use effectively. Out of shape or even obese people can become proficient enough in this art to use it effectively for self defense.

-It is one of the most effective arts for teaching you how to defend against an assailant armed with a blunt object or a bladed weapon.

-Because it primarily revolves around using your opponent's own force against them, it is primarily only a defensive art and doesn't necessarily translate well to offensive purposes. It can be done, just not as well as others.

jenbit

Nah, if I really wanted to defend myself I'd just get a gun. Martial arts classes seem like a lot of work just to end up getting shot.

While I know gun laws are mor stick in the UK Casta get a knife a mini baton for you keys.... The only time I dont have some kind of rapidly avalible weapon on me is at work...... But apperantly I also give off a "don't fuk with me" aura lol.......

Gun laws are more strict here, and it's illegal to carry a knife of any significant size as well - a pen-knife is about the limit. I don't particularly want a specific weapon in any case, just to know that I could get out of a hold if someone grabbed me, or at least fight back effectively enough to make it not worth their while and/or hold them off long enough attract attention and help. What's a mini baton?

ETA - I've never had any trouble before now - clearly I don't look like a good target to the random street villain - but the person who poses a threat at present is unbalanced/irrational and has certain dependencies... That's why I'm taking his threats seriously, as I simply don't know if he will try to follow through or not, and he has shown already that physical violence is something he is willing to use.

You can do alot of damage with a pen knife...go for the soft parts,nose, eyes ect...

pa_jorg

Nah, if I really wanted to defend myself I'd just get a gun. Martial arts classes seem like a lot of work just to end up getting shot.

While I know gun laws are mor stick in the UK Casta get a knife a mini baton for you keys.... The only time I dont have some kind of rapidly avalible weapon on me is at work...... But apperantly I also give off a "don't fuk with me" aura lol.......

Gun laws are more strict here, and it's illegal to carry a knife of any significant size as well - a pen-knife is about the limit. I don't particularly want a specific weapon in any case, just to know that I could get out of a hold if someone grabbed me, or at least fight back effectively enough to make it not worth their while and/or hold them off long enough attract attention and help. What's a mini baton?

ETA - I've never had any trouble before now - clearly I don't look like a good target to the random street villain - but the person who poses a threat at present is unbalanced/irrational and has certain dependencies... That's why I'm taking his threats seriously, as I simply don't know if he will try to follow through or not, and he has shown already that physical violence is something he is willing to use.

Stay safe whatever you do and be sure to tell your friends and family about this person as well as keep in contact regularly so that they know you are ok. I am so sorry you are going through this! :flowerforyou:

flimflamfloz

Running is not a self defense. I don't agree with the school of thought saying defending yourself is dangerous and you should simply give in to any threat of violence. It's that sort of passivity that breeds these would-be attackers. They know you will roll over. Most of them would rather select a victim who isn't going to bash their face in. I think you would find that a purse-snatcher or booty-grabber would probably run themselves if attacked.

There are extreme situations, sure. But this could be either direction. You could give in and be raped. Or you could fight back and be killed. I guess it just depends what stance you want to take and each situation would require some sort of assessment.

I definitely don't think that the practice and experience itself will put you in danger. If anything, it will raise your confidence and that is something that people perceive when sussing out who to mess with. Willful ignorance is not a solution.

I think we all agree that running is not self defense, but it is a fact that you have more risk of getting injured by getting into a fight instead of not going into a fight.

I would also imagine that most aggressors are men, because they possess more raw physical strength than women so I'm not sure really how far "training for violence" as a woman can get you. I would imagine most men still think they will have an advantage in a physical confrontation over a woman (and probably rightly so, in most cases).

I agree about the confidence bit, though. Most people can perceive the "this person is not scared" vibe and some will leave you alone just for that.

Stuff like Krav Maga is clearly what is needed in this specific case though. Still, as long as running away is an option, it is clearly a superior option (apparently Krav Maga teaches you that as a basic principle).

jesusHchris

Still, as long as running away is an option, it is clearly a superior option (apparently Krav Maga teaches you that as a basic principle).

What kind of pansy Krav class is teaching that? Sometimes, when I see someone on the street who reminds me of a mugger from a TV show, I walk up and start throwing blows. I should be teaching self defense classes.

christine24t

Now that I think about it at my college, we had a self-defense class where the students learned how to get out of certain grips an attacker could have on them, etc. I think many communities may offer classes...here in the Twin Cities, most communities offer a wide range of activities for their citizens...exercise, arts, senior programs, computer classes, early childhood classes.

meshashesha2012

i'm pretty good at sassy/semi-crazy black girl bomb. that deters most things.

besides that i've taken general self defense classes on how to handle certain situations and escape. i want to take krav maga because i know me and i know i wouldnt be OK with just escaping if something did happen because i'd want to eff an mf'er up for even trying to jump me :laugh:

SoViLicious

I beat hoes down.

iulia_maddie

I've heard really good things about Krav Maga, and I'm thinking about starting doing that myself.

TheKitsune6

I wish you could arm yourself, it's terrible that you are faced with a situation where your government is unable to protect you and simultaneously disallows you from protecting yourself. I don't know about UK laws in regards to Mace/Pepper Spray/tasers? Any of those things??

Self defense classes are good to take but don't rely on them. If you do I don't suggest taking one specific style, if anything find a good MMA gym near you and keep practicing regularly. MMA takes the most efficient and effective parts of any type of fighting style and puts it all together without the stupid rivalries and loyalties. Someday you might be proficient enough to react but this is a long term solution and you have an immediate problem.

Since you cannot arm yourself, see if you can't convince a companion to walk you to your car/bus/home. Enlist the help of friends to accompany you wherever this guy might be a danger.

Above all be safe!! I would rather you get busted for having a weapon (don't use a knife, unless you know how to use one they do more harm that good oftentimes) than hearing about you getting hurt

Edit: A basic womens self defense class is a good place to start to get good at the basics.

lorro

Sorry you are having hassle Kirstin :frown:

Many years ago I was sent on a basic self defence course through work, it took about 3 hrs and was run by ex police. They covered lots of how to avoid becoming a victim stuff too - some was obvious but other sections less so eg how to react if threatened (body language/eye contact) so as to minimise attack from someone who had basically lost control (due to anger/substance misuse/mental illness). Then they went on to show and practice basic self defence for if attacked (eg from behind). I was quite suprised by how easy it was to learn quite effective techniques in such a short space of time. At the time I was in a job that occasionally involved conflict situations in which I was threatened and it really helped increase my confidence in dealing with them.

I hope you find something suitable. Re the unstable person, it sounds like they may fall into the danger to self/others category. Is there anyone you can express concerns to eg their GP? Stay safe xx

castadiva

I wish you could arm yourself, it's terrible that you are faced with a situation where your government is unable to protect you and simultaneously disallows you from protecting yourself. I don't know about UK laws in regards to Mace/Pepper Spray/tasers? Any of those things??

Nope - all illegal here. You can't cary anything with intent to do harm/that is intended to be harmful if used, legally. Even colour dye sprays to mark an offender are of dubious legality.

Self defense classes are good to take but don't rely on them. If you do I don't suggest taking one specific style, if anything find a good MMA gym near you and keep practicing regularly. MMA takes the most efficient and effective parts of any type of fighting style and puts it all together without the stupid rivalries and loyalties. Someday you might be proficient enough to react but this is a long term solution and you have an immediate problem.

That's a good idea - I'll see what I can find. The Krav Maga academies in London all insist you attend an induction session before you can go to a normal class, and the soonest induction is over a month away... I'm going to give aikido a try with my friend, but have rehearsals every Tuesday for the next three weeks. I had a boxing lesson this morning, though - I figure learning how to throw a decent punch is a life skill, and it was the only reasonably-immediate solution I could find!

Edit: A basic womens self defense class is a good place to start to get good at the basics.

Then they went on to show and practice basic self defence for if attacked (eg from behind). I was quite suprised by how easy it was to learn quite effective techniques in such a short space of time. At the time I was in a job that occasionally involved conflict situations in which I was threatened and it really helped increase my confidence in dealing with them.

I hope you find something suitable. Re the unstable person, it sounds like they may fall into the danger to self/others category. Is there anyone you can express concerns to eg their GP? Stay safe xx

I'm talking to a few of the other girls at my day job to see if anyone would be interested in a session like this - I've found lots of people doing corporate training type things, but no local drop-in, or book-in classes. Unfortunately, there isn't really anyone to talk to, except the police - I've no idea who his GP is, or if he even has one, and the family aren't willing to accept that it's a major problem, let alone do anything about it!