married straight but realized your not

GhostriderMav

So this is where I am in my life. I have kids so I don't want to hurt anyone.
Just curious if anyone has been through this.

ThePinkPanda

i went through this, no kids though. I always knew i was gay but my first coming out didn't go well so i married a guy. we were together for 10 years (only married for two). there came a point where we were both just miserable. the relationship was unhealthy for a multitude of reasons, but being gay was definitely a major contributor. for me, ending the marriage was the best possible route for everyone involved. i am so much happier.

i'm not advising you to do anything, this is just my personal experience. feel free to ask me anything you might wanna know.

Serendipity5215

Yes, I was married for 15 years and have two amazing kids I didn't want to hurt anyone either, but honestly the relationship was so unhealthy that everyone seemed to be drowning in unhappiness. It took awhile for everyone to adjust after the initial separation and subsequent divorce, but I can honestly say that everything worked out for the best in the long run. I'm also not advising you to do anything as not everyone's experience will be the same, but I do feel that I made the best decision for myself and my kids

PennyVonDread

I don't believe in marriage as a concept. But I was in my longest running relationship when I came out as ace. Even though for a variety of reasons we were already not sexually active, it turned into a very abusive unhappy experience for him, so I left. It wasn't easy, but things turned out for the better in the end. Life is too short, and the people who care about you don't want you to suffer through it.

Kabiti

Mine's a bit different... I'm a straight woman married to a straight woman... we're figuring out divorce. Everything seems good for now, but we're planning on filing in early '15.

Oh... I came out trans in there somewhere, too. That's how it happened ~ I'm not totally "out" as straight yet... that's not the primary reason for us splitting up.

Teal4me

I have three grown kids. I knew I was gay for many years. But was afraid to come out. So I married 2x to guys. I finally realized the straight relationship was just not making me happy. I divorced and started to enjoy my new life. My kids were older and all understand. As matter of fact my daughter is gay also. I can say one thing if your happy your kids will be in time. There will be bumps in the road but keep traveling and you will find peace with your inner self!

Kabiti

I know I'm far more scared for my kids in divorce than in my gender identity and the changes over the last year and a half. It's hard to work together when one person doesn't want to

vkdarling

I was married but divorced when I was pregnate with my only child, so i didn't have to worry about hurting anyone, it was a good decision and i dont regret it, it would have been much harder if the child was older though. Sorry to hear that you are going through that!