Impatient and A Little Grumpy

TravelsWithHuckleberry

For those of you who started your weight loss efforts with a significant amount to lose, how did you stay patient?

I am losing at a decent rate (a little over a pound per week on average), but am *so impatient*! I just want all this extra weight, all this fat, GONE. Even though I'm down over 16 pounds since mid-August, I don't feel any different -- my clothes aren't looser, I'm not seeing any changes in the mirror or in my progress pics. My last set of measurements showed some loss, but not what I'd hoped for.

How did you all stay sane when you felt like this?

xo,
C.

katro111

I just focus on the lifting. I haven't done measurements since August or September (don't even remember) nor have I taken progress pics since then. I think the last time I weighed myself was like 4 weeks ago, too. I took my Fitbit off on November 1st and while the first week was hard, now I don't really miss it. All the numbers get me obsessed and ultimately a bit depressed because they never are what I think/hope/want them to be. This allows me to actually enjoy being active instead of being active just to see the calories burned, weight lost, etc.

Another thing to keep in mind is that what you see when you look at yourself probably isn't what other people see. You are your own worst critic. I know it's easy for me to just tell you to stay positive, but I know how hard it is and I have to keep telling myself to do the same. The other thing that helps me are ladies like yourself here on MFP. You're so great at offering support and making me feel better! I just hope I can be as helpful to you as you have been to me!

canadianlbs

idk if my weight loss was 'significant' - i started out at close to 150 so i've lost around 20lbs, give or take a couple. but it took me a year to lose them, so i guess the patience part i do qualify for.

thing is, what's the alternative? unless you're wanting to get all that weight lost so you can eat a jelly doughnut or something

i know it's really cranky-making. i used to make up little mini-projects to distract myself and keep myself motivated when it got bad. like: i will keep an empty yogurt container on my kitchen counter and every time that i ride to work, i will scoop another tablespoonful of dry rice into it, as a representative of the fat that i have probably burned. filling up my rice bucket kept me occupied for a while. or: i'll set myself x time limit to aim for in getting to point y on my ride. you need alternative goals that aren't about weight, i think. i just make my own up.

but really, what are you going to suddenly do that's going to be different, once you reach that milestone? quit lifting? change your whole life? ultimately, weight coming off is just one of the things that happen while you're living your real life, you know?

logg1e

I gave up on the weight-lifting and focused on weight loss. I guess there was muscle loss that I could have prevented, but I didn't care. I've been much happier at goal and starting the weight-lifting again.

threnjen

I get impatient but I'm close to my goal at this point, so I guess I am pretty lucky. I used to just think about how I would weigh in 6 months if I kept up the 1 lb/week.
I don't deal well with disappointment though and get impatient easily, so I can relate. Sometimes I go a couple weeks without any loss which is TOTALLY normal, but still I start despairing that surely I am doing everything wrong, it's all crashing down, I am going to wake up tomorrow fat again. But I just try to shake it off and eventually the "whoosh" comes.
I'm no help because I don't stay very sane when my progress is not what I want or expect =|

DawnEmbers

Patience and many different goals to focus on beyond the weight loss factor. I've done pretty well since August because I've managed to get my diet in check compared to what it was before. I started with working on calorie deficit and walking at the very beginning of September and things have moved on from there. However, I know the feeling about wanting it just gone. I've got a long ways to go and it'd be nice to not feel my stomach on my legs when I do squats, etc.

I have plenty of weight focused goals like getting out of the "obese" category, wearing non-xl stuff, and all that. However, I also have fitness goals I want to achieve. Am going to train and run in a 5k in 2015. I want to be strong enough to kayak some day. I want to be able to learn some of the olympic lifts, like maybe a clean or snatch. I've also considered other runs like maybe a trail run. I made a goal to keep active for an entire year and printed a sheet of paper that has squares and images for each month. When a month ends, I cross it off if I've been active during the month. I've got three marked so far. Then start has always been easy but continuing when things slow or stall, that is when the challenge sets in.

I don't have a final goal just yet either. I have been overweight so long that it's hard to imagine being in the healthy range for my height, so I've got several goals to first hit and then I'll reassess at a certain point to see where I want to head next. Being just under 5' doesn't help much in the allowed weight category. I started at 211 (though I've weighed more over the years) so just getting under 150 and not obese is a pretty big challenge.

Then again, I'm also easily distracted. I am working on different novels plus with work and such. Even when I'm impatient I can always think about something else and watch the people in my head. lol

TravelsWithHuckleberry

@Katro -- Posted on your page too, but you're so right that I'm my own worst critic. I only see the flaws. Thanks for reminding me that's probably not actually the reality, even if it feels that way.

@Canadian -- The alternative is "dieting." Doing the whole "too few calories but major results on the scale." I don't want to do that, but it's tempting sometimes. And part of that is that I'm still in a bit of a holding pattern in life -- I don't feel like this is real life yet. I feel like "real life" starts when I'm closer to my goals. And yes, I KNOW this isn't how it *should* be, but it's where I am at the moment. I'm working on it.

@Threnjen -- Good suggestion to keep my eye on the "1 lb per week prize." If I can keep that up, I'll be at, or within ten pounds of my current goal by the time my next birthday roles around -- which was the initial time frame anyway. Of course I want it sooner (impatient!), but you're right -- 1 lb. a week is no small thing, and it does add up.

And thanks to everyone for the responses so far. I love all the women in the group, and you all have your heads on straight, so sometimes I get into that "I must be the only one frustrated" headspace, so just to know I'm not the only one that feels this way means a lot.

Would still love to hear from others -- I'll take all this help and sane talk I can get!

C.

krokador

It took me three years to get down from 270 to around 190 - which is the weight I've been hovering around... for the past 2 years.

I haven't figured out any magical solution, and after trying a sponsored weight loss challenge last year, I just got completely fed up with the whole fat loss thing and have been yoyoing ever since... So um, I don't know that I can help you!

This year's been focused more on performance than it has been on how I look or how much I weight. I have muscle definition on my upper body I never thought I'd have - this is why I keep going to the gym and pushing myself.

But I also feel fluffy as hell now - which is why I'll go back to logging for a bit xD

But if i had one piece of advice to give: keep your eyes on the prize. As long as your overall progress takes you closer to your goal (or not further away) there is no reason to feel defeated. Small steps will take you there more consistently than giant leaps and bounds will - if you miss a small step it's easy to make it up. If you try to jet-pack yourself forward and aim for the wrong direction, you'll have a lot more work to do to make up for it.

And if the goal seems too far ahead, compartmentalize it and make smaller checkpoints. That way you run less chance of getting lost on the way and all

randomtai

Nope I like these results visually much better and that is what keeps me going.

canadianlbs

crabada wrote: »

I don't feel like this is real life yet. I feel like "real life" starts when I'm closer to my goals. And yes, I KNOW this isn't how it *should* be,

pffft on 'should be'. so you'll never get invited on oprah to tell about how self-fulfilled and self-determined you are, so what. it's not like there isn't enough subtle shaming to deal with already in life. i completely understand that whole thing.

ummm . . . i just don't know answers. i guess for me it was like being on a long car trip with a brain going 'are we there yet???' every 7 miles or so. but since i can't hustle time and i'm trapped in the car, i guess i try to make up little distractions and side projects to keep my 6-yo self occupied in the meantime. so long as they're not actively equivalent to throwing myself out of the car, i'm not too fussy about what they are.

meglo91

I am totally with you. Totally. I started out with 35 lbs to lose. I still have 30 to go, and it's been months. And I absolutely get frustrated. But. I've been trying to see all of this as a process, an adjustment I am making, a work in progress. Like, I've been losing about a half a pound a week. (BTW, a pound a week is AWESOME.) A half a pound a week is not super fantastic progress by anyone's standards, I know. But if I lose a half a pound a week, and I do it for a year, well, by Thanksgiving next year I'll be 26 pounds lighter. 26 pounds!

Also, I have been struggling with myself to lose weight for a long time. Like, since before I got pregnant with Minion #2. And I've lost five pounds so far, which, you know, is maybe not that impressive. But it IS impressive when you consider that, in the year and a half since the birth of Minion #2, I'd lost nothing. Up until I started lifting heavy and tracking my macros and trying to get more protein, I was at 0 weight lost. Progress is progress. It's 5 pounds I will never see again, because I'm backing up my weight loss with dietary changes and muscle gains.

And I'm still learning. I'm learning to eat right, learning what works for my body. I'm trying to be kind to myself and know that losing weight slowly and retaining and building muscle will make me look better and be healthier and happier than if I just ate 1000 calories per day for 6 months and lost the weight quickly.

16 pounds is a lot. Be excited! You're doing great. And if you're losing slowly, you're probably doing it right. You're building the foundation of great health and, let's just say it, a hot body for the rest of your life.

LazyFoodie

I'm super impatient to lose about another 10lbs as there is a life thing I've ready for now but I am waiting to do until after those lbs are gone due to health concerns. So my goal before starting to lift was just to lose as much weight as possible each week...

But now I am really convinced that a slower weight loss with more muscle retention is better for me in terms of health, strength, and even looks now I am aiming for about half a lb to 1 lb a week loss. Achieving this is the hard part I think. I've been either losing too much or adjusting and losing nothing. Or maybe its just all hormones and fluid retention. Ah.

Crabada, have you tried on clothing that used to be tighter to see how they feel? I think it is easier to notice tight clothes fitting better than to notice clothing starting to fit loosely. 16 pounds should be pretty noticeable on someone who is not super big to begin with. I think we tend to be the last to really feel a difference. I've gotten comments about being skinnier already with less than 15lbs lost. And some of these people didn't even see me at my heaviest so they are seeing maybe a 10lb loss.

MissHolidayGolightly

It might help to try and focus on what you have accomplished instead of what you haven't accomplished yet. Losing 16 lbs. is amazing, even if you can't quite see it physically yet. You also are crushing dead lifts and squats when a few months ago, you couldn't squat at all. You're doing great and you'll continue to do so, the aesthetics just need some time to catch up.

TravelsWithHuckleberry

In some ways, my recent successes have me feeling that much more impatient. I've been 50 or more lbs. overweight for over 15 years, and I'm so tired of feeling like my life is on hold, you know? So now that I see a path to reaching my goals, I want it to happen as quickly as possible.

With that said, you are all so right, on all counts. Thank you for answering sincerely and taking my post seriously -- I expected nothing less from you all, but I appreciate it so very much.

xo,
C.

randomtai

crabada wrote: »

In some ways, my recent successes have me feeling that much more impatient. I've been 50 or more lbs. overweight for over 15 years, and I'm so tired of feeling like my life is on hold, you know? So now that I see a path to reaching my goals, I want it to happen as quickly as possible.

With that said, you are all so right, on all counts. Thank you for answering sincerely and taking my post seriously -- I expected nothing less from you all, but I appreciate it so very much.

xo,
C.

:flowerforyou:

SouthernDaisy4

I understand and feel the same way. I get the "life begins at (some future weight/time)". I do this a lot then I feel guilty for missing the "now". I don't really think I have any tricks or tips since I am very impatient as well. My body ( body image) actually seems worse now that my muscles are firmer and things are sitting different, as it were. Sitting different = bad, very bad... I am trying to keep in mind that this is just a phase. A disheartening phase.... If I didn't have an event early May that I would like to be in better shape for, I would just focus on the weight lifting and let the weightloss follow. Then I think it would be easier to see the 'changes' I am seeing. The thought of not being at a decent size by then keeps me somewhat focused.

Sumiblue

You are doing great! 16 lbs lost is awesome and so is losing 1lb./wk. We are recent friends here but I see that you are doing great with your lifts. You are strong, lady! If you are increasing your weights steadily (like you are) AND still losing a lb/wk you are doing awesome. I have increased my strength a lot since starting SL but my weight just hovers around the same number, up and down. I am also frustrated to see some visible changes but I will take my strength successes.