First Christmas Season Since Surgery

relentless2121

My surgery was 3 weeks ago today. I'm just starting to experiment a bit with the soft stage of food this week and see how it goes. I have 5 celebrations over the holidays (3 potlucks & 2 restaurants). I haven't been to a restaurant since a few weeks before my surgery & 2 week liquid fast. It's also a challenging Christmas with just having lost my mom in September. But I couldn't wish her back with the amount of pain she was in. This Christmas is going to be so different that ones that have passed with both joy and sadness.

As I prepare to go to the celebrations I'm asking for some suggestions to cope. How did you deal with food temptations that we aren't sure if we are able to try yet? I have read that it's not a good idea to try something new when you are out and about in case it disagrees with you. Also, what would you suggest I bring with me to take along with me in case I need it. As far as the potlucks I think it will be much easier to have a small portion of a few things like mashed potatoes, a bit of gravy and some moist turkey meat.
As far as the restaurants go I know that soup is a good go to food.
For the first time in my life I might be going to a Chinese Restaurant after the Christmas Eve
Service with a friend.

I have one other issue of concern. I think the people I am celebrating with will be very interested in what and how much I eat (which I know won't be much). It's going to seem so bizarre that I won't be able to clean my plate as they have seen me do all these years. I'm a bit nervous & self-conscious about this even though I've had nothing but love and support from all of them.

I would appreciate any tips on getting through the first Christmas. My first Christmas Party Potluck is this Sat. and I'll only be 3 1/2 weeks post op. The Restaurants are on Dec. 21 &
Dec. 24 so I'll be about 6 weeks out by then. I'm going to a friend's for Christmas Dinner and his wife had Gastric Bypass a few years ago. That is so neat that I'll have someone there who totally gets it and can give me some tips. She already told me that since I won't be able to eat much at all that she is going to send me home a care package. Awe... I am truly blessed to have the most amazing friend, both in my everyday life and on this forum as well.

loriloftness

I already attended my first pot luck and it was difficult. I had to stop and really think. I had already eaten a container of yogurt before we got there so I knew I wasn't physically hungry, it was head hunger. So, take it from me, when you see all the really good food there you might be tempted to eat what you shouldn't or can't. Don't do it.
Spread your little bits of food on your plate and it will look like you are sampling lots of food. Then, as it takes so long for us to eat the food, others will be done before you. It won't seem strange then.
I very much understand the feelings you are having about the first Christmas without your Mom. My Mom passed from cancer 12 years ago. She died in Sept. That Christmas was very difficult for my siblings & I without her. She is the one that brought us all together. She is the one that held our traditions. But, we have adapted and found new ways to have Christmas. You will have to do this too, because that is what she would want for you. You will miss her, but you can still find the joy of the holiday.

homerismyhero

I usualy keep some cheese sticks or protien bars in my bag- just in case I find myself somewhere that doesn't have food that's a good choice for me. I think the hardest part about this whole thing is that it's private, but at some point it becomes public because people notice your habits and body changes. It's hard to be in the middle of that dynamic. Also, in social situations where there's food and people who like to feed- I have a firm tone to my voice- I'm a kind person- but maybe best described as "no nonsense" in other ways- and that has helped a lot- I appreciate a polite remark, but no one else is in charge of my body or food choices. It's not easy if you tend to be a more passive person, but it's a good habit to develp. I had to learn it as an adult. I grew up with a gramma that was very manipulative with food- cooked a lot, cried when I didnt' eat it- then criticized my body all the time as I gained weight. I'm still dealing with the food issues I develped as a kid- but the habits I'm makeing now are the ones I want to keep.

rpyle111

This is my first set of holidays post-surgery as well. For Thanksgiving I took a small amount of each thing on my plate and was disappointed that I couldn't even eat that. It was just the four of us, so no awkwardness, though.

Christmas will be a big deal this year. We are going down to Brazil to see my Grandmother for probably the last time. She is 102 and has been getting weaker. We took the kids down there 12 years ago for her 90th birthday, but they don't remember it, so this trip will be to say goodbye and have the kids meet and remember the Brazilian family. Eating will be interesting, as i am sure one of the family meals will be at a Brazilian steakhouse, where lots and lots of tasty meat will be flying all around.

Dealing with the 'strangeness' of a post-surgery diet in a crowd hasn't been that much of a problem for me. Around my friends and closer co-workers (the ones I eat lunch with) I am a bit of a curiosity, but in a good natured way. They ask and watch how much I am able to eat and there is some questioning about how this is going to work long term (maintenance-time), but I haven't felt any negativity.

Good luck to you and I am sure you will find a way through it. I am more worried about the second set of holidays next year, when the capability to eat more bad stuff will be back.

Rob

loriloftness

rpyle111 wrote: »

This is my first set of holidays post-surgery as well. For Thanksgiving I took a small amount of each thing on my plate and was disappointed that I couldn't even eat that. It was just the four of us, so no awkwardness, though.

Christmas will be a big deal this year. We are going down to Brazil to see my Grandmother for probably the last time. She is 102 and has been getting weaker. We took the kids down there 12 years ago for her 90th birthday, but they don't remember it, so this trip will be to say goodbye and have the kids meet and remember the Brazilian family. Eating will be interesting, as i am sure one of the family meals will be at a Brazilian steakhouse, where lots and lots of tasty meat will be flying all around.

Dealing with the 'strangeness' of a post-surgery diet in a crowd hasn't been that much of a problem for me. Around my friends and closer co-workers (the ones I eat lunch with) I am a bit of a curiosity, but in a good natured way. They ask and watch how much I am able to eat and there is some questioning about how this is going to work long term (maintenance-time), but I haven't felt any negativity.

Good luck to you and I am sure you will find a way through it. I am more worried about the second set of holidays next year, when the capability to eat more bad stuff will be back.

Rob

102 yrs old? That is fabulous. I'm so happy you are able to go spend the holiday with her. What a great thing for you and your family.

Lori

SimplySusan63

This is also my first holiday season post-surgery. I had to laugh when I read through Rob's message. His comments in the first paragraph (below) made me laugh because I experienced the same disappointment. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because of family, but I also love Thanksgiving food. My stomach was full long before I was ready to be done eating.

rpyle111 wrote: »

This is my first set of holidays post-surgery as well. For Thanksgiving I took a small amount of each thing on my plate and was disappointed that I couldn't even eat that.

I have found that if I don't make a big deal out of my portion sizes most people don't even notice how much I eat. If we're chatting they're too busy to pay attention to what's on my plate. I have also tried to make a point to think about my food choices BEFORE I get to the celebration. Having that pep talk with myself helps. Now, having said all that I have to admit that I've made bad choices too many times. That also helps to make better choices next time.

Have fun, enjoy yourself and remember to focus on the people, not the food.

Qski

I think I became more aware of what everyone else was eating my first holiday season with my first op. I think most of them didn't notice what I was eating at all. There was a lot of times I attended functions after the first surgery where I noticed slim people, who actually ate less than I was. They may have dished or chosen full sized meals on full sized plates, but they picked and left most of it.

We were a clean your plate or don't leave the table house, so I felt guilty about being wasteful.
- I think practising what your portion sizes look like on a big plate would help
- guessing what will be available and having some sort of plan of what you could have (maybe prefill your food diary on here)
- if any of the restaurants have online menus, check them out and plan from there
- chinese have a lot of foods in sauce and also lots of clear broth like soups - so plenty of options there
- really focus on what your absolute favourites are for Christmas, and leave all the rest, you can have it next year wearing your skinny *kitten* jeans
- maybe use your friends supportive curiosity to your benefit and enlist a helper to assist you in judging portions or finding the squishiest healthiest options - my fiancee has been a dream cooking things and putting them through a blender (twice) but keeping all the items separate so I get separate flavours
- remember not to drink and eat at the same time
- when you are finished eating, make sure you yak non stop till everyone else is done too, (well if you like talking... I do!)

nowucme

I just wanted to say I hope you have a peaceful holiday and find joy in good memories. I love the people on this site and think you've gotten some great advice. Good luck with the holidays. You've waited so long for this opportunity - you can do this.

relentless2121

Thanks everyone for your understanding and suggestions on coping strategies for the first dinner celebration of the season. I have invited one of my best friends to come with me tomorrow. She is a great source of strength to me. She is also visually impaired so when we go out, I am her eyes and I'm happy to assist her with getting her plate prepared. She is a light and an angel in my life. I even asked her to come sit with the family at mom's funeral in September.
I plan to bring a Premier Protein Shake, a few saltines and maybe a very small amount of cottage cheese or Greek Yogurt just in case there isn't anything that will sit well with me.

Rob, I wish you a great visit with your family to Brazil to see your Grandmother. What a gift that is. Thanks again to all who have replied here, I really appreciate your feedback, ideas, and things that helped you cope through the first holiday celebration post surgery.

wilrhy

I go to the Chinese buffet--we found one that lets me get my food in a take-out (charged by the pound) and what I cannot eat I take home. If it is not a buffet~~ order something you will be able to digest and take the left overs home. It amazes me how much food i bring home now! (Rob---have a wonderful trip--I think it is great that you are going to spend time with your Grandmother. God bless her--102 is amazing!

authorwriter

I'm 6.5 months out. I just had two mini peanut butter cups because I was super duper craving them. I got out three, but only ate the two then was sorry I even ate them because they didn't taste all that good. they tasted sickly sweet. You're tastes are changing even if your head isn't keeping up with it. your sleeve isn't going to let you eat much and you'll probably throw it up if you eat badly. our heads and our eyes think one thing, but our body doesn't really want it and will make us feel uncomfortable.

Sammers48220

homerismyhero wrote: »

I usualy keep some cheese sticks or protien bars in my bag- just in case I find myself somewhere that doesn't have food that's a good choice for me. I think the hardest part about this whole thing is that it's private, but at some point it becomes public because people notice your habits and body changes. It's hard to be in the middle of that dynamic. Also, in social situations where there's food and people who like to feed- I have a firm tone to my voice- I'm a kind person- but maybe best described as "no nonsense" in other ways- and that has helped a lot- I appreciate a polite remark, but no one else is in charge of my body or food choices. It's not easy if you tend to be a more passive person, but it's a good habit to develp. I had to learn it as an adult. I grew up with a gramma that was very manipulative with food- cooked a lot, cried when I didnt' eat it- then criticized my body all the time as I gained weight. I'm still dealing with the food issues I develped as a kid- but the habits I'm makeing now are the ones I want to keep.

Oh my gosh did we grow up in my family? If you don't have seconds or thirds it's automatically a huge guilt trip "Oh you didn't like it! Why did I spend all this time cooking then?" but constant cutting remarks behind my back (and sometimes to my face) about my weight.

relentless2121

My first Christmas Banquet went very well. I knew I wasn't ready for roasted turkey yet so I just had a bit of mashed potatoes, stuffing and gravy. A friend sent us all home with a package of cookies. I gave my package to my friend as I knew I wouldn't be able to try one for awhile and didn't want to tempt myself. For the first time in my life, the celebration wasn't about the food and it felt great. Thanks for all of your feedback. I hope others will also post on on jitters as celebrations arrive this month and share how they coped with them.