Really f*cking grumpy today

maoribadger

Been on a course all day, got home and phoned my courier and its another day before my phone will turn up despite being told yesterday it would be here today. So will be sunday before I can actually use it.

We still have no heating and hot water and our landlord is only 'considering' a new boiler despite being told ours is dead so knowing my landlord will be a bodge job like everything else in this cold damp house.

My ankle hurts. Ive eaten too many calories to take a night off the gym. Ive not had 2 mins to switch on my SAD light today.

Im back on nights tomorrow after a year and Im terrified of falling asleep at work because my new meds make me tired and dizzy

I so need to shake myself cos Im like a bear with a sore head today. How are you guys

KnitOrMiss

Hugs, hugs, and more hugs!!!! That all sounds ridiculously awful. I am so sorry!!! Want me to see if I can send some good UK vibes out that way to wake your landlord up to reality?!?!?! My guy worked for SIA and had a huge number of connections... I could put it out there and see....your call.

I didn't know you were without phone, heat, and hot water. That would make anyone mental!! One day to rest up is not too much. Take it. That ankle will heal. If you didn't eat 3500 calories over your maintenance number, your sanity can take one damned day off from the gym.

Take a deep breath, hug your kids (and hubby if you like him today/at this moment), then sit down and bask in your SAD light for at least 5 minutes. Set a timer for the kiddos to watch if need be.

I would call the dispensing pharmacy and ask about those meds. Surely there is something you can do to counterbalance the sleepy/tired/dizzy side effects until you get used to them! I vote for energy shots/caffeine laden/sugar lacking drinks...

Know you are loved from afar, just 'cause... I've been cranky this week, so I really think it is a moon cycle thing. Aside from general crap, which most of mine pales in comparison to yours, I'm good...

HUGE HUGS THE SIZE OF THE POND BETWEEN US... C

maoribadger

Thanks hon. Well I went to gym and did some non weight bearing leg exercises and some boxing so have undone the damage of the extra food. Coming home to another freezing cold strip wash though has not improved my humour any.

Added in I told hubs Im stopping taking this new med as its making me feel tired and dizzy and Ive been reading around and it causes oedema and weight gain. *kitten* that. It doesnt do *kitten* for my mood its for anxiety and though I suffer from sensory overload (I dont do noisy places well) mood is my primary problem not anxiety and I can control the noise with music or distraction or breathing exercises normally. He listens to all this then tells me Ive been snapping at the kids all week and generally ive been hard work. So now I feel horrendously guilty and worse than I did before. I may just take my bad tempered snappy *kitten* to bed. I feel like *kitten*

KnitOrMiss

Remember, too, that hubs, no matter how well intending, has probably been suffering along side you with this new med, and stupidly doesn't know how to tell you... He may be thankful you're stopping taking it and be telling you the wrong way. I can tell you one med I took made me literally start mentally preparing for self-harm, so all different meds affect people differently. Now you probably know that most meds like that usually take a full cycle to reach optimum efficacy... So, if the side effects didn't suck so badly, I would likely recommend you stay on it to give it a chance, but like you said, it isn't worth all the bad crap. Marriage is a roller coaster...if he isn't willing to help you in your lows, he doesn't deserve your highs. And heck, even PMS might make you snap at the kids. Fact is, being a pain in the butt once in a while actually teaches them that no one is perfect, mood swings are normal but manageable, and that even when you are cranky, you still love them...so don't let it kill you too much, hon. (HUGS)

maoribadger

No ive decided its not worth all the crap tbh. Ive stopped taking it as of yesterday evening. Am currently sat with my SAD light on. We are without heating or hot water til next weds though so now trying to sift through that and see what I can organise to bath my kids and me and generally keep us all warm

KnitOrMiss

That's just insane. Hopefully it isn't like it has been here... Monday in was like 19 degrees with windchill below 10... Glad you're getting your light time today. Do you have a microwave? You could buy some cheap white rice and put it in old but clean socks and tie it off and nuke them then hold them as a hand warmer. Or put them in kiddos pockets/in bed (no overheat risk)... I'll let you know if I come up with any other suggestions. I don't know if they carry hot hands/toasty toes warmers there..but those are fabulous, too - especially the toasty toes ones!!!

wennim

Does the UK have a housing authority? In the US they protect people from having to deal with no heat and hot water during the winter months.

I am so sorry to hear about your issues with the meds. I tried so many different ones before I found one that worked for me. There were some where I swear I put my family through more torment with my attitude than anyone should have to experience. My current med the first few weeks were killer. I was seconds away from snapping at any given time. The vivid dreams made it hard to sleep which made the moods even worse. After a couple of weeks it gradually got better and within a month I was back to my old (yet happier) self. I am really grateful that I stuck it out and my family stuck by me during it. The kids are ok and now it is a running joke all the times where I said things wrong because I was so pissed I couldn't get the words out fast enough....telling someone to go vacuum the lawn comes up on a daily basis.

I hope you find something that works for you. No one should have to live a life being grumpy all the time but it may take some time for the meds to work. It seems like sometimes everything just gets dumped on us all at once and coping with that isn't easy. Keep venting here if nothing else.

maoribadger

Thanks guys. I decided against continuing with the pregabalin. I am on mirtazipine for depression and although I get anxiety from the sensory overload/noise intolerance its not my primary problem my mood is. So since pregabalin does nothing for mood its purely for anxiety, it causes weight gain and oedema, headaches, dizziness and tiredness ad makes me really irritable I decided its simply not worth the hassle. I'd rather manage my noise problems myself. If im alone I find music helps and am setting up my new phone (it finally came) with my playlists so I can tune the world out and if m with someone else I try to keep talking to them to distract from it. Most of my friends and family are pretty good at spotting when the noise is getting to me and keep me talking.

As for the heating I am fuming. The repair guy basically told us the boilers useless, its probably over 20 years old but the landlord is holding out to repair it instead of replace it meaning we have been without heating or hot water since monday and will be next weds before the parts come in then they have to get a contractor to do the repair so weds is probably a hopeful estimate. Im sending the kids to my parents for the weekend to keep them warm and bathed and Im taking a towel and change of clothes to work tonight to shower after my night shift. Kids are already in vests/socks/pajmas and dressing gowns/slippers by about 330 in afternoon to keep them warm. Im in 2 pairs of socks. Not only do we have no heating we dont have double glazing. Its actually 8 degrees celsius in the kitchen at the moment, every time I load the dishwasher my hands go numb. Cant wait to get out this house but we are still trying to save a deposit for somewhere else