a slap of reality.
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melissasue0317
Posts: 338 Member
Hi all! I have been lurking and present but not actively logging the last few weeks. My best friend lost her aunt at age 46. This was like her 2nd mom. Someone that I've known for the 20 years we've been friends. She was truly a selfless person that could brighten your day with a smile.
The cause of death is unknown but they believe it was a combination of 3 semi-bad things that hit like a storm. As a nurse I want better answers. As a friend, I'm at a loss on how to help. We buried her Christmas Eve after a week long stay in ICU. She was able to be an organ donor so that's the only light in a bad situation.
It has made me realize how short life can be. I need to get healthier. For myself, my family, my kids, my closest friends. I don't want my family to go through the devastation of not knowing if something was always there and went undetected. The what ifs will haunt my best friend and her family for a while.
We HAVE to do this. I want to do this. But how to refocus is the hard part.
The cause of death is unknown but they believe it was a combination of 3 semi-bad things that hit like a storm. As a nurse I want better answers. As a friend, I'm at a loss on how to help. We buried her Christmas Eve after a week long stay in ICU. She was able to be an organ donor so that's the only light in a bad situation.
It has made me realize how short life can be. I need to get healthier. For myself, my family, my kids, my closest friends. I don't want my family to go through the devastation of not knowing if something was always there and went undetected. The what ifs will haunt my best friend and her family for a while.
We HAVE to do this. I want to do this. But how to refocus is the hard part.
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Replies
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I'm really sorry for your terrible time. I hope they can give you the answers you need for closure. Try to detatch the nurse from the friend. Its easy for the two to end up linked, I know. But your friend needs you love and presence right now. You will be able to help her answer the tricky questions with your knowledge later but for now just 'be'. I dont know if that makes sense.
Be gentle with yourself but allow this to spur you on. Wish I knew what to say to you x0 -
Hugs to you and your friend, Melissa. Unanswered questions are never fun. Especially for someone so young and present for everyone... I lost my MIL at age 49, and the light still hasn't come back to the holiday season for me or my family...and that was over 7 years ago now...
I've joked in the past with Patrick about how I seem to have all kinds of health issues now that I didn't have 75-100 pounds heavier. As he eloquently put it, "I've washed all the mud off the car, and now it's time to assess the overall damage I did to the vehicle." Or something to that tune.
All I know to do is just keep fighting. Looking at the big picture in the context of a traumatic and tragic loss like yours would overwhelm me. All I can do is just keep fighting for me. I've spent a lot of time getting my head on straight (it's mostly there) and getting myself where I need to be mentally/emotionally. As I focus on that, the physical follows. I cannot put the physical first, or everything relapses at some point. I wish you the best of luck renewing your focus.
Hugs,
Carly0
