Rant

carimiller7391

Good day everyone!!! Today is my first day back to work after being out for 6 weeks due to my gastric bypass. WOW, did I miss a lot of things going on. Oh well, I'll get caught up sooner or later.

So how is everyone doing today?? My weekend, even though it was my birthday weekend, was a complete bust. The ONLY thing I did was go out to dinner with my folks. Had an excellent meal at Longhorn Steakhouse. Had leftovers for days also. But, I am a bit disappointed in my friends that NO-ONE called me all weekend to do anything. So with that said, I'm looking to make some HUGE changes in 2015. Plan on finding and making new friends who value me as much as I value myself and them. Add that to my list of health-wise objectives I have, and I have a LOT to do in 2015. Am I Wrong for feeling this way about my friends????

Sorry for the ramble and the rant.... just a bit peeved at the moment!!! Also, can't get into my phone system at work, so I've read and re-read procedures and policy... but can't do any true work yet

KnitOrMiss

Absolutely not!! I've lost more friends than pounds since I decided to start improving myself. It's sad to say, but some people only like you when it's convenient and when you make them feel better about themselves.

It stopped being a doormat. Most of my family/former friends decided I had become a total B I. T C. H. Which utterly cracked me up to no end. Then, after they realized it didn't bother me for them to call me that, they started blaming my new man, saying he was the one who changed me.

Um, yeah. I had started this change over a year before I knew he was still alive (long story there, we almost dated in HS, but things just never lined up, then I lost touch with him for over ten years). So yeah, he obviously manipulated me and controlled me and made me turn against everyone. Yeah, that's it.

If you want, I have a long letter I wrote to my daughter after she accused me of a lot of things including abandoning her and stuff (stuff her new stepmom to be and daddy put in her ear...lots of crap there) that I can send to you about how I changed for me, and because I didn't want her growing up to be a doormat just like me.

And guess what, so far she isn't. So even though she hates me right now (who doesn't at 14, right?), if she learned to love herself more than she dislikes me, that's still a win for me.

Sometimes I think the emotional side of our healing process is far more painful, difficult, and complicated than the physical side...and we know you have a harder time with that than most of us!

So kudos for you. Happy Belated Birthday. If I had known, I would have at least sent a e-card. Every birthday deserves to be celebrated in my book! At least you did have dinner with your folks. I'm lucky if I get a FB congrats anymore...

maoribadger

I think friend ship is a two way street and if they arent working as hard at it as you, then you deserve better

KnitOrMiss

^^ THIS....could NOT possibly agree more!!!

While it isn't always about exact, perfect balance and such (as nothing is perfect), but if you continually feel like you're getting the shaft/doing all the work, do a reality check and make sure it's not hurt feelings talking. After that, yes, move on if the relationship is taking more out of you than it's giving.

carimiller7391

Lise and Carly thank you so much for the kind words. I really needed them. I'm going out this evening with friends from work to celebrate all the March birthdays. There's a few of us around. I'm looking forward to hanging out for a little while. I agree that I definitely deserve to feel more then just like a doormat. I've decided to cut off both friends, except for 3 pre-planned events in April and June. I've committed to going to Cocoa Beach, FL with one, and an all day event and back in the day party with the other. Will I go out of my way for the next few weeks to contact either..... NO. I will be civil. But I will not be initiating contact or asking them to hang out or do anything. In some strange ways, I really wish I had moved to Florida when I moved back to Delaware in 2009. I still can, but I have some bills to pay off first.

Have a great night and thanks again ladies. Love you two!!!!!

Cari