Checking in

maoribadger

Am dying on my *kitten* after three and a half hours sleep post nights but planning on popping in after PT tonight to visit the new threads as ive been a bit absent of late and not particularly on point. Will discuss later for your perspective. How are you lovely people

maoribadger

May as well continue my thread here rather than start a whole fresh one. So I've been struggling to get back on board. I spent my entire holiday eating with a few minor binges (like a whole easter egg in one go feeling sick afterwards). Then when we got back from disney I was tired and cranky and we spent 2 days car shopping which is actually not all that restful. I actually blew off the gym friday and sunday which is unheard of for me but I simply couldnt face it

I managed to restart yesterday logging and planning but worked a nightshift. I did take food to work but also got tempted by chocolate at the nurses station and had some. Today Ive been completely off the wall. I didnt manage to get to bed til 10am and was up at 130 doing the school run and swimming club so my good intentions went south and I had mcdonalds and icecream. So again its back to starting afresh tomorrow. Ive logged my day out and planned a family meal to make life easier and its all looking good. Ive no nights for a week and am no longer in holiday mode so can focus on getting my head right and most important I made myself go to PT tonight despite a raging sleep deprivation headache. It seems to have kickstarted my determination a little. Its just disheartening how hard it is to build good habits and how easy it is to continue bad ones

Any thoughts welcome

wennim

I think the fact that you are posting this says a lot about your determination. It would have been easy to just not come back to the forum after your vacation and continued off plan. Instead even though you are really tired and out of sorts you made this a priority and even though it was not what you wanted to do you are getting back on track. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and get back to where you were before.

carimiller7391

Lise, one meal/minute at a time. You'll get there.

maoribadger

Thanks ladies. Back on plan today and ignoring the voice telling me a chocolate bar would be grand right now. Planning on a hot choc later this afternoon to take the edge off

carimiller7391

Lise, try jello sugar free chocolate pudding cups (Not sure if you can get them).... but if so, they definitely kill the urge for chocolate.

KnitOrMiss

For me, 85%-90% chocolate hit the chocolate note without that super sweet craving for more... it is an acquired taste though, for sure.

Lise, the fact that you are swinging back against yourself means that the good habits you set are still there, just buried a little in the holiday fluff. Because your health is so important to you, I know that even if you have a few off days/weeks getting back to it, you will do so, because the fact that you are still fighting back means EVERYTHING.

Stress is a killer. I try to always take deep breaths, mint up my mouth so flavors don't taste as good (brush my teeth or have a super strong mint), listen to some hard rock music, drink a ton of water, and fat/sodium load before having "what I want.' Those things help. But yeah, stress + exhaustion = limited willpower, so the fact that you only had SOME means you're still fighting and therefore still winning...

Hugs,
Carly

maoribadger

I dont think they have stuff like that here Cari. I skipped the hot choc in favour of some violet flavour french drinking syrup. Its lovely with fizzy water and I had one piece of my daughters chocolate bar. Otherwise totally on track had seeded pitta for brekkie, chicken and onion omelette with beans for lunch and planning gammon with veg and new potatoes for tea

Thanks Carly. The fact tiredness gives me headaches does not help matters at all esp when tonights PT is a group session and I am building up to a proper anxiety attack about it because I dont know them.

KnitOrMiss

Have you ever taken Inositol to help combat that anxiety? It is an OTC med that is a vitamin our bodies naturally produce, but many of us don't produce ENOUGH. It is also called B8. I've recently seen a lot of research that it helps with severe depression and anxiety.... You can get it online. The only interaction I've found at all, and it is anecdotal at best is that it reduced the efficacy of my birth control pills (and almost gave me a period in the middle of cycle, etc.). Aside from that it is a very well received med....

Regardless... I get the tired headaches - I have to massively hydrate and load my electrolytes (even on ANY eating plan I've ever followed, for better or worse) to avoid exhaustion headaches. I know anxiety, particularly attacks, are not logical, so I've no idea how to help you with that one, as whenever facing anything of this nature normally, I'm annoyingly logical. LOL

Lise - as far as food, sounds like you're doing great! I'm sure once you can catch up on that sleep, it will help the rest. What do you normally do to break through a panic/anxiety attack???

maoribadger

I took a b vitamin complex when I was really bad but its hard to tell its effect as I was on two fairly heavy duty antidepressants. Im only on the one now. I did take an anti anxiety med for a short time but it made me vile tempered so I quit it pretty quick and I stopped my second AD in March so just on the one now. Rolling along ok though I know I am more aware of certain things than I was before but Im trying to continue as I am.

As for the anxiety its been a long while since I really had to deal with one but usually I just go very quiet as I try to get a handle on the emotions and I concentrate on breathing and slowing my heart rate mentally. Atm im more just aware of the anxiety growing, can feel my heart rate is up and my stomach is tight and head is POUNDING. But I also know I should go purely because I dont want to IYKWIM. I dont like things like that beating me too often. My buddy is coming to get me so Ive got some support. Im just a bit rubbish really lol

maoribadger

I did it, I went. Thats my NSV for today

KnitOrMiss

maoribadger wrote: »

I did it, I went. Thats my NSV for today

That is a monstrous win for you, honey!!! So proud of you - and you'll never be rubbish in my book, luv!

maoribadger

Thanks chicken. Means a lot. And it felt good to get through it