Excellent idea for a group!

tru2one

I've also found that being on a stage when I'm unhappy with my appearance is extremely detrimental to performing. Not only do I lack the confidence on stage to engage the audience as I should (I sing as part of an original singer/songwriter duo), but I find that I don't actively pursue gigs, either.

Funny, though, just getting on the right track again and knowing that I'm making positive changes helps tremendously!

dekutree

Hey, nice to meet you! Yes, I feel the same way... I'm a freelance musician but perform(ed) my own singer-songwriter stuff with a big cabaret band I got together. I had great fun gigging (I'd play piano and sing) but as I've put on weight over the last couple of years have felt less and less confident with it, and now I've not really been gigging at all.

I'm also a music director for theatre (when I can get the work), and even that 'behind-the-scenes' roll I can struggle with confidence when down about my appearance (because it still means standing up there and teaching a cast, etc. so is still a performative role somewhat).

This is only my second week since I found the headspace to make a proper weight with my eating, but I'm already feeling more optimistic... hope to play some solo shows later this year maybe. :-)

lydian8

I hope it's ok for me to join this. I am seriously obese. I have never been thin, but I've been performance presentable before. I got my college degree in vocal performance from a pretty good school, but I've done little with it due to weight and health issues. I miss performing. I miss connecting with an audience. I'm 43 and I want to get back into it. I don't want to sing classical, so I'm looking into shifting into r&b or adult pop. (I'm not even sure what to call it.). My greatest goal would be to start auditioning for musical theater, but right now the thought just terrifies me. I don't do "your voice is great, you're just not physically right for the part" rejection too well. I just started working with a youth group that teaches kids performance in a rock band setting. I'm a little uneasy still because I think to myself, "who's going to listen to a middle aged fat lady about rock?", but I keep going because the kids do seem to respond to me. It's more my own issues at play.

So do I qualify? I'm not professional right now.

dekutree

So do I qualify? I'm not professional right now.

Oh, of course you do! I didn't mean for this group to sound exclusive or just for 'professionals', etc. I mean, arguably we're all in front of an audience whenever we leave the house. It feels like that sometimes...!

I teach kids too, generally in a youth theatre context, and I find the same things running through my head... "Who's going to take this fat guy seriously?", etc. and it knocks my confidence. But as you say, the vast majority of the time the kids respond really well, and a lot of it I think is my own paranoia. I work with one group where I compose songs for their play each year and then teach/rehearse with them... I love doing it and there's not much more gratifying than having a group engage in something you've actually written. I get good feedback and get asked back (well, this was my third year)... but I STILL have that irrational dread of having to stand up in front of them looking the way that I do - it affects my confidence even in my musical abilities. And I don't know if being slim really will solve all these confidence issues, but I really hope it will help.

I think it's great you want to get back into singing and I hope you find that confidence again!

Circapaleo

Hi!

I agree this is an excellent idea for a group. Performing in front of others was a huge factor in getting motivated to lose weight and get in shape. I mostly play fiddle in country and bluegrass bands (not my day job), and occasionally rock bands, and have been finding myself "hiding" behind other musicians.

I've lost a little over 30 pounds an still have some to go, but I'm getting there.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1008891-down-30-pounds

I'm already starting to feel like I want to be a little less invisible on the stage.

DenialTwist33

This is great!

I'm only 18 but I do a few of these. Singing, dancing, acting...

I sing as often as I can, it's the only thing my lack of self confidence hasn't effected.
I moved towns for University (where I study theatre) and I moved to a new class of dancers, and I lost my confidence to perform.
However, I still practice belly dance as often as I can in my own room.
Theatre is also affected as I'm very conscious about how I look which is something a theatre student really can't have unless you make it work,which usually I dont and it affects my performance, as my self confidence and body thoughts have seriously depleted in the last few months

So yes, hello fellow performers! xx

soldier4242

Well first of all I would like to say that it is such an honor for all of you to have me in the group with you. I happen to be hilarious.

I do a bit of singing but I will admit my singing is middle of the road at best. I am good enough to contribute but I am not good enough carry center stage. Simon Cowell would tell me to go F myself for example.

My real love however is juggling. I am working on incorporating new patterns with balls but I am up to the point where I can juggle torches and if I had access to the actual knives used for juggling I am sure I could juggle those as well.

I am not able to play the piano but I would absolutely love to be able to pick up that talent. I recently got an electronic key board given to me as a present from my wife and my daughter. My daughter is 11 so I don't know how much she actually contributed but it said it was from both of them on the tag.

So anyways I am going to be working on learning how to play the piano so if any of you have any tips on how I can accelerate this process please let me know as this self teaching is going very slowly. I am 33 so perhaps it is just a bit too late in life to pick up such a robust skill.

I do look forward to juggling my *kitten* off and I hope that the rest of you find methods that you enjoy for getting rid of your own respective *kitten*.

MartySG

Hi -- I've performed on some sort of stage since I was a child...theater, music, dance...but stopped performing when life got in the way and finally convinced myself that no one wanted to see an overweight person on stage. At 36 I found the nerve to start auditioning again, and I got roles...as much older women. Now at 43, my husband and I have moved to a different city and started a band...but I'm most comfortable in the back of the stage behind my keyboard where no one can get a good look at me. Being the only woman in the group is hard, but I don't mind that. I'm very animated on stage, but I love my "shield." I lost my mother in January, and stress pounds just started packing on. I'm now in my third week of personal training, and someone suggested this fitness pal. Have to say, just having others around with the same issues is comforting and inspiring. Thanks for starting this group.

indigonuit

The first time I log in (bc my phone app is spazzing out on me), and this group is the first thing I see. Haha this is just meant to be.

I'm the same as everyone else...my primary goal for losing a few pounds and toning up is to get 'performer ready' again. I used to act and sing, but then took a couple year break because of personal issues. And now I want to get back into doing it professionally, but first gonna get my mind and body in the right space.

I'm really happy this group exists!
Because out of everyone, it would be other performers who gets it the most. The stress of the business and the pressure to look a certain way.

dekutree

Welcome everyone, and thanks tru2one for taking initiative to start these threads as I'm pretty new here and wasn't sure how to kick things off.

Really nice to meet some other performers who also have that added motivation of self-improvement to feel more comfortable onstage, or in front of people you teach, etc. I do miss performing, and would like to start gigging again later this year. A few weeks back I did a short bit of stand-up followed by a song at an open mic night, just because I missed performing... I was worried about feeling self-conscious especially as I've been in hiding somewhat this year, but it was actually really good fun

MartySG

You can absolutely learn piano and keyboard...I hadn't played in twenty years when we started this band and it took a lot of relearning, but I manage. I did already have the theory in my head; if you already play an instrument the theory will be very helpful. But if you just want to learn a little bit about how to improvise I have used a site called PlayPianoTODAY . Great video lessons, and you can sign up for free. Check it out....

MartySG

OK, apparently I don't know how to use the quote feature, but this is from soldier4242:

"So anyways I am going to be working on learning how to play the piano so if any of you have any tips on how I can accelerate this process please let me know as this self teaching is going very slowly. I am 33 so perhaps it is just a bit too late in life to pick up such a robust skill."


And this is my reply...
You can absolutely learn piano and keyboard...I hadn't played in twenty years when we started this band and it took a lot of relearning, but I manage. I did already have the theory in my head; if you already play an instrument the theory will be very helpful. But if you just want to learn a little bit about how to improvise I have used a site called PlayPianoTODAY . Great video lessons, and you can sign up for free. Check it out....

soldier4242

That is encouraging. I will check out the site when I get a chance. Unfortunately I don't really have any training whatsoever when it comes to play a musical instrument and I never have. I am going to be jumping in to this without any background at all.

MartySG

If I remember correctly, the site has tons of beginner stuff. I think you'll do great! You are obviously a determined and focussed person...if the lessons don't work, then I suggest learning by ear. Learn the names of the notes on the keyboard, but then just try to pick stuff out. Sometimes that's the best stuff and the most fun anyway. I am unable to play by ear (I blame it on learning to read music so young) and I am so jealous of my friends who can just pick stuff out!