Would you move for the chance of finding love?
photo_kyla
Posts: 322 Member
I actually am very comfortable where I am. It's close enough to family that I can see them regularly (and get there quickly in an emergency - aging parents) but still far enough away that I have my own space. I really like the people I work with. Even though my job might not be ideal for long term, it's fine for me at the moment.
The main problem with the area that I live in is that there is a serious deficit of guys that I'm even remotely interested in. It's a small community with a strong country/mudding/pot smoking attitude and that's completely opposite of me. I'm much more metropolitan/travel/culture related.
I did the e-harmony match test and they literally said that there are no matches for me within 50 miles, and those at the 50 mile mark were at least 50yo (I'm 36). Other dating sites haven't had much better results and I certainly am not meeting them in normal, daily life.
Would you relocate to simply widen your dating pool? I'm not talking about moving for a special someone, but just in the hopes of eventually meeting someone that you could see yourself in a relationship with?
The main problem with the area that I live in is that there is a serious deficit of guys that I'm even remotely interested in. It's a small community with a strong country/mudding/pot smoking attitude and that's completely opposite of me. I'm much more metropolitan/travel/culture related.
I did the e-harmony match test and they literally said that there are no matches for me within 50 miles, and those at the 50 mile mark were at least 50yo (I'm 36). Other dating sites haven't had much better results and I certainly am not meeting them in normal, daily life.
Would you relocate to simply widen your dating pool? I'm not talking about moving for a special someone, but just in the hopes of eventually meeting someone that you could see yourself in a relationship with?
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It's like that out here as well. I hadn't thought of it but I watched a show called "Your city isn't that into you" or something where a realtor profiles the person and picks a city for them to move to. When they said that Denver, CO is also called "Manver" because of all the single guys, I definitely heard that!! I'm not sure I could handle cold anymore.0
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As someone who moves around a lot, it can be like that everywhere, at least within the expat communities. I've wondered if staying in the same place would help me, so I'm hoping to try that this move. We'll see if I can do it. I haven't stayed anywhere for more than nine months in five years...0
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It's like that out here as well. I hadn't thought of it but I watched a show called "Your city isn't that into you" or something where a realtor profiles the person and picks a city for them to move to. When they said that Denver, CO is also called "Manver" because of all the single guys, I definitely heard that!! I'm not sure I could handle cold anymore.
I live in Denver and still no luck in the dating world. I wish I knew where all these singles guys are??!?!?!0 -
Learning2LuvLindsay wrote: »I live in Denver and still no luck in the dating world. I wish I knew where all these singles guys are??!?!?!
Alaska? "The odds are good, but the goods are odd"?
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I live in Seattle and no luck (but I know there are options in this big city). All of my friends say its because of the "Seattle freeze"...0
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I live in Seattle and no luck (but I know there are options in this big city). All of my friends say its because of the "Seattle freeze"...
Seattle is one of the places I'm considering moving to. I currently live about 50 miles away and that's where e-harmony found the nearest matches for me.0 -
I'd consider it! I've never had luck dating in my current city but have had much better luck in other states. But I think, overall, it's having access to interests you want to pursue that can put you in touch with these single people that's important and realizing that the second half of your thirties (I'm 38), is a difficult pool to be in to begin with when it comes to dating. But, if finding someone is a priority to you, I say, go for it!0
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i almost moved to New Mexico once to be with a woman that I was seeing for a bit at home, then she moved. I unfortunately have a good, long term career job. Granted i could have taken my career and moved it also. I decided against it in the long run and things have been fine. I would still move if I had a good thing going and knew it would work. Turned out this woman I was going to move for found the love of her life and married. To move just to find someone is not in the cards. Unless everyone around me fell off the planet.0
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I didnt like finding love in Southern California would be difficult, but it has turned out that way.0
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photo_kyla wrote: »I live in Seattle and no luck (but I know there are options in this big city). All of my friends say its because of the "Seattle freeze"...
Seattle is one of the places I'm considering moving to. I currently live about 50 miles away and that's where e-harmony found the nearest matches for me.
Seattle Freeze? I've pretty much lived here in the PNW most of my life and have never heard of that. Ok I just Google'd the term and yeah, I can see how it could be that way for some people.
Oh and to add to the topic, I have older parents I need to help take care of. No siblings and nearest family is in Oregon so, yeah I would not move.0 -
Dead_Mans_Party wrote: »I didnt like finding love in Southern California would be difficult, but it has turned out that way.
You live in Palm Springs...are you straight by any chance? That might explain it. In SD it's all surfer douches and gay guys.
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One of my friends just posted this on Facebook http://www.wired.com/2015/05/tinder-users-not-single/?mbid=social_fb
Now, I've never used Tinder but I have used online dating in the past. Crunching some numbers using their statistics, I figure that only 1.8% of their users fit what I'm looking for for where I'm living (male, 30-44, single). If I change it to an urban setting, it jumps to 6% of users. This doesn't even account for personality, interests, whether or not they want to relationship, looks, etc.
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I live in Hawaii. I have been to the east coast and west coast and in between on the continental US and there really is no other place that I can see myself living… If my love (and we married) needed to leave/move for a job (that is/was guaranteed ) then I would consider it.0
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Would you consider a LDR and then move once you fall for each other?
I think I'd widen the net before moving ...0 -
I've thought about it, but I don't think I would. I've only ever lived in Florida, but I've traveled out of state quite a bit, and have even been out of the country several times. No one was interested in me in any of those other places either. I don't want to move to find people if they're not going to pay me anymore mind than they do here.0
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Would you consider a LDR and then move once you fall for each other?
I think I'd widen the net before moving ...
I've tried a few long distance relationships that fizzled quite spectacularly. In general LDRs are really hard and take a LOT of time and effort. I'm usually the one willing to work my hardest for the relationship and so far the guys have been the ones who let things fall apart.
There's also the issue of meeting people long distance. You have to weed through a lot of frogs before you find the good guys.0 -
DaughterOfTheMostHighKing wrote: »I live in Hawaii. I have been to the east coast and west coast and in between on the continental US and there really is no other place that I can see myself living… If my love (and we married) needed to leave/move for a job (that is/was guaranteed ) then I would consider it.
I'm not talking about moving to be with my SO. I haven't met the right guy yet. Judging by the guys I've met/dated/talked to in my area over the last 3 years, it's not going to happen here. I'm considering moving partly to increase my odds of meeting the right guy (i.e. a little more cultured than the mudding, trucking, country boys where I live).0 -
photo_kyla wrote: »I live in Seattle and no luck (but I know there are options in this big city). All of my friends say its because of the "Seattle freeze"...
Seattle is one of the places I'm considering moving to. I currently live about 50 miles away and that's where e-harmony found the nearest matches for me.
Well there are definitely more people. I've met plenty of guys, have gone on dates, just nothing long term yet.0 -
photo_kyla wrote: »I live in Seattle and no luck (but I know there are options in this big city). All of my friends say its because of the "Seattle freeze"...
Seattle is one of the places I'm considering moving to. I currently live about 50 miles away and that's where e-harmony found the nearest matches for me.
Seattle Freeze? I've pretty much lived here in the PNW most of my life and have never heard of that. Ok I just Google'd the term and yeah, I can see how it could be that way for some people.
Oh and to add to the topic, I have older parents I need to help take care of. No siblings and nearest family is in Oregon so, yeah I would not move.
I'm glad you've never heard of it! I am a born and raised Seattle girl but I went to college in Spokane, grad school in Phoenix, and lived in Zambia. I didn't notice the Seattle Freeze until leaving and coming back. People are nice, but getting past pleasantries can be difficult. Definitely more difficult than when I lived in Arizona...0 -
I think it is very important to know what you are looking for in a SO. If you know you don't want a mudding, trucking, hunter dude, then don't stay in an area where that is all you will find. Figure out where the kind of guy you want is spending his time/living/working, etc. and go there. I'm planning to move to a city in order to be closer to audition opportunities, but it can't hurt that being in a city will increase my odds of finding someone! Hoping it works out, but at the same time, I realize that pursuing my own passions and dreams is infinitely more important to my long term happiness.
I hope this makes sense. I am under the influence of cold meds right now lol0
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