I Gave it to God
dottieketostrong
Posts: 102 Member
I am not ashamed of my faith, so if that kind of thing bugs you, you may not wish to read this blog.
Five and a half years ago was the first time in my adult life I reached a weight of under 200 pounds. I had been fat and miserable with no self-esteem from the time I got pregnant with my first child in 1981, until I got this weight off in 2009. People were constantly telling me how great I looked and how proud they were. I crossed over into one of those people who went from hating exercise to loving it. Logging food is fun for me, even though some have said I am in bondage to it. I could not believe I weighed 160 and could wear size 10. I had worn a size 20 for so long!
After menopause in Feb 2012, I started gaining around the mid-section and hip area. I gained 10, then 12, then 15 pounds over the past couple of years. To say I have obsessed over my weight is an understatement. The scale has dictated my mood. It has caused me to look at myself with a critical eye instead of appreciating how far I have come.
The other day, before I wrote the blog "I guess This is It," I had spent some time with Jesus, talking about it. It's not that it's wrong to try and lose weight. But it became the first thing I thought about every morning. Before prayer, before devotions, before anything -I would weigh or measure and I would start picking food out. I would feel depressed over the lack of progress in losing weight and then let it affect my feelings all day long.
I came to realize that to me, losing weight was a way of feeling loved and accepted. I have a fear that people will love me less or respect me less if I gain ANY of the weight back. All my friends know I work out all the time. I had this fear that they would look at me and think I must be lying. How can anyone work out that much and not look fit and thin?
I am very healthy now. The doctor told me I have practically cured myself of diabetes, and I take less than half the medication for it that I used to take. My blood pressure is excellent. My cholesterol is perfect.
Basically, I just don't want to put my physical appearance before my spiritual condition. And that is what I was doing. My priorities got messed up. I confessed, I repented. I decided to be happy at this weight and just continue taking care of me without obsessing over it.
Imagine my surprise this morning when I weighed and had finally broken below 170.
169.4!!! I just laughed and thanked the Lord. If I lose more, great, but if not, it's okay.
I am beautiful just the way I am.
Five and a half years ago was the first time in my adult life I reached a weight of under 200 pounds. I had been fat and miserable with no self-esteem from the time I got pregnant with my first child in 1981, until I got this weight off in 2009. People were constantly telling me how great I looked and how proud they were. I crossed over into one of those people who went from hating exercise to loving it. Logging food is fun for me, even though some have said I am in bondage to it. I could not believe I weighed 160 and could wear size 10. I had worn a size 20 for so long!
After menopause in Feb 2012, I started gaining around the mid-section and hip area. I gained 10, then 12, then 15 pounds over the past couple of years. To say I have obsessed over my weight is an understatement. The scale has dictated my mood. It has caused me to look at myself with a critical eye instead of appreciating how far I have come.
The other day, before I wrote the blog "I guess This is It," I had spent some time with Jesus, talking about it. It's not that it's wrong to try and lose weight. But it became the first thing I thought about every morning. Before prayer, before devotions, before anything -I would weigh or measure and I would start picking food out. I would feel depressed over the lack of progress in losing weight and then let it affect my feelings all day long.
I came to realize that to me, losing weight was a way of feeling loved and accepted. I have a fear that people will love me less or respect me less if I gain ANY of the weight back. All my friends know I work out all the time. I had this fear that they would look at me and think I must be lying. How can anyone work out that much and not look fit and thin?
I am very healthy now. The doctor told me I have practically cured myself of diabetes, and I take less than half the medication for it that I used to take. My blood pressure is excellent. My cholesterol is perfect.
Basically, I just don't want to put my physical appearance before my spiritual condition. And that is what I was doing. My priorities got messed up. I confessed, I repented. I decided to be happy at this weight and just continue taking care of me without obsessing over it.
Imagine my surprise this morning when I weighed and had finally broken below 170.
169.4!!! I just laughed and thanked the Lord. If I lose more, great, but if not, it's okay.
I am beautiful just the way I am.
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Replies
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This is a great post. I never underestimate the power of prayer. I believe faith that God can help you shed those pounds is far more effective than any diet. Keep up the good work. You are where you need to be.0
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Great post. It's funny as we were just talking about all the faith in this group. I grew up Catholic but lost my way for many years. I was trying to follow my plan rather than God's. Looking back, there were so many points during my life where I was given the opportunity to get back on the right path but I simply overlooked or ignored them. Since I started following God's plan a couple of years back, I can only say my life has been nothing short of wonderful. My faith has also been a major reason for my success on this program as are the great people in this group (many of whom openly share their beliefs as well).
My best friend Scott (who also lived a questionable life for quite some time) found God right around the time I returned to Him. I was talking to Scott a couple of weeks ago and I told him it was nice having so many others coming into my life that had strong religious beliefs. He said God was speaking to me. I mentioned it to Swati and while she didn't see it right away, I think she understood what I was talking about this past weekend.
We went to see a band at a casino out in Pennsylvania. After the show we were walking through an outlet mall that connected the casino to the event center. An older security guard, Jerry, stopped us and asked us how we liked the show. Somehow that transitioned into a 45 minute conversation about faith, Saint John Paul II and Saint John XXIII. I still have no idea how that happened but I'll just say God was involved. Swati is Hindu and while Jerry commended her strong faith, he did encourage her to spent some time researching Jesus. I'm pretty sure she'll take him up on it. The Lord definitely works in mysterious ways.
Any yes, you are beautiful just the way you are. Thanks for sharing!0 -
Thanks Mike! I love how God pursues us. We think we wander off, but He always knows where we are.0
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I put this blog by accident on the main message board earlier, and MFP locked it. Are we not allowed to talk about Jesus?0
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Wow, Dottie. I admire the heck out of you.
Thank you for just solidifying my walk with Jesus, too. I was much the same way, my weight dictated how I felt all the time. It blocked me from what I needed to do in so many ways, including my time with God. I am smiling with tears in my eyes reading your post above. God bless you!!!
Mike, what a lovely lovely post. You also made me smile.
As for the thread being locked, it could have been considered "off-topic", I just don't know. Did they contact you that it was locked?0 -
They put a note saying it was a topic that should be in a group, not on the main board, because it could offend someone who's beliefs are different. It's still on the board, just closed for anymore comments. I have been private messaged by several who read it though, and they appreciated it and were blessed.0
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Yeah, I've seen similar things happen on other forums when they don't have a specific "spiritual/religion" forum category.
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Yay!!!!! This is a perfect way of thinking about our journey! I, too, have recently returned to trusting God with the direction my journey takes.0
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This is a beautiful testimony. Thank you for sharing it. I actually started NS because God showed me it was time to lose weight. My story is a bit long, but I will share it at another time.0
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Determined_Missy wrote: »This is a beautiful testimony. Thank you for sharing it. I actually started NS because God showed me it was time to lose weight. My story is a bit long, but I will share it at another time.
I will look forward to it!0 -
Great Post! Putting God first. Giving him the praise and glory for all he does. One might say "I am doing all the work" but it is God who gave us the courage, strength, knowledge and wisdom to see this through. I am positive my walk with God is why I am achieving. Prayer is the key, but Faith unlocks the door.0
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dottiemaystrong wrote: »I put this blog by accident on the main message board earlier, and MFP locked it. Are we not allowed to talk about Jesus?
Um what? Please dont tell me them too!!!0 -
Thanks for this post! I'm doing exactly what you were doing - focusing on the lack of weight loss instead of my relationship with Christ. It's all that I think about which adds to the frustration of not losing any weight for over a month now and does affect my mood. All of my weight gain came from Menopause 10 years ago and I've not been able to lose any weight since then, no matter how much I worked out or how healthy I was eating. I was/am concerned about it more maybe because of the history of diabetes in my family as well as heart disease and had hoped that NS would help with all of that. I've never been a big eater or much of a sweet eater but yet the weight came and stayed for over 10 years. I have lost 10 pounds but it's not gone past that - usually a pound or 2 above that weight, which frustrates me! Time for me to give it to God too, I think.
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Talking about God.... I had something very bad happen to me about 5 yrs ago!! Couldn't remove the pain & couldn't stop crying.. For yrs!!! This is why I gained weight!! Once I finally turned it over to God I slowly stopped crying!! Eventually.. The pain went away & I was capable of removing the memory of what was done to me!! Then I started trusting God again!! And I have been stuck like glue to God ever since!!
I'm the God's Ball & Chain!! And I love it that way!!! 
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Truly inspiring, Suzi. 0
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Thanx Nighty!!!
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You are living proof that he hears our prayers and gives us what we NEED!SuziBoston wrote: »Talking about God.... I had something very bad happen to me about 5 yrs ago!! Couldn't remove the pain & couldn't stop crying.. For yrs!!! This is why I gained weight!! Once I finally turned it over to God I slowly stopped crying!! Eventually.. The pain went away & I was capable of removing the memory of what was done to me!! Then I started trusting God again!! And I have been stuck like glue to God ever since!! I'm the God's Ball & Chain!! And I love it that way!!!
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It never surprises me anymore the paths that appear in front of me. I am and will always be a believer in Jesus Christ the Son of God that He died for my sins and will never be ashamed of telling anyone of it.
My story can be found here: themotivationalgirl.blogspot.com/p/poison-called-diabetes.html
However, I will say this too I've been maintaining my weight loss since 2009 and I continually struggled with the negative thinking of myself every day. I judged myself by a number of a scale that has no life. I judged myself for what I ate and my continual binge eating. I continually prayed for answers as to why I did this and seeked God for help. He opened the pathway to Meditation of Presence and Loving Kindness and I embraced it. After practicing for over 6 months now all the negative reactions and compulsive eating have stopped. God showed me peace through presence and I totally recommend this to anyone who has such negativity toward their precious bodies that house our souls. Remember Gods word when He said "Ephesians 5:29 New International Version (NIV)
29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—"
Let this sink in to anyone who judges themselves....God loved the Church and we are to love and care for our bodies. I finally get it....Thank you God for the answers in Jesus Name Amen.
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evhutchings wrote: »
You are living proof that he hears our prayers and gives us what we NEED!SuziBoston wrote: »Talking about God.... I had something very bad happen to me about 5 yrs ago!! Couldn't remove the pain & couldn't stop crying.. For yrs!!! This is why I gained weight!! Once I finally turned it over to God I slowly stopped crying!! Eventually.. The pain went away & I was capable of removing the memory of what was done to me!! Then I started trusting God again!! And I have been stuck like glue to God ever since!! I'm the God's Ball & Chain!! And I love it that way!!!
Thank you Valorie! 0 -
Cenandra....well said!...when we listen to what he sez and do what he asks....remembering he created us and only has our best interests at heart....we can survive this Satan run world!!!0
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God is amazing! And for everyone here sharing it's beautiful to see God's children helping one another, and knowing God guides us through everything we do.0
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This thread makes me smile out loud. 0
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chwomack53 wrote: »Great Post! Putting God first. Giving him the praise and glory for all he does. One might say "I am doing all the work" but it is God who gave us the courage, strength, knowledge and wisdom to see this through. I am positive my walk with God is why I am achieving. Prayer is the key, but Faith unlocks the door.
Amen! Well said. Great thread! Thanks, Dottie!0
