05/13/2015
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carimiller7391
Posts: 1,091 Member
Good morning Ladies and Gents!!!!
Yesterday was such a hard day mentally. I got to see my Psychiatrist last night. I love this man as since I've been his patient he doesn't catch the attitude most Doctors/medical proessionals do, that they know everything. He's very down to earth, very understanding and works with me and allows me to manage my bipolar the best way possible for me. You see, when I first had RNY, I cut my anti-depressant to 1/2 dose a day (1.5 pills a day) as all the hormones being released due to fat loss scared the dickens out of me. I tend to go up, way more then going down. I cycle every 4-5 days regularly. Just how I am. Then when I returned to work, I found myself being short and nasty with people.... just not how I am, so I up the anti-depressant to 2 pills a day (normal dosage is 3); then about a month ago, I had a really horrible day and ended up punching my desk. Very irritable...short with people....just plain mean and people were noticing and commenting asking me if I was OK. The evening, I up'd my anti-depressant back to 3 pills a day. According to my Psych, it should be about another 3-4 weeks before I know if I am back to normal again. He did say because I had RNY, I may actually need more anti-depressant a day to absorb and get a normal dosage. I wish I could do something so I didn't cycle every 4-5 days.... but it's just become my normal.
My boyfriend, Reggie, is definitely a good influence on me. Last night I was craving a Rita's cotton candy italian ice. He reminded me it's sugar water and won't help me get to MY GOAL. So today, I am celebrating Reggie and how he influences me.
Now that I've rambled on way to long for me..... SORRY!!! What are you celebrating today??
Yesterday was such a hard day mentally. I got to see my Psychiatrist last night. I love this man as since I've been his patient he doesn't catch the attitude most Doctors/medical proessionals do, that they know everything. He's very down to earth, very understanding and works with me and allows me to manage my bipolar the best way possible for me. You see, when I first had RNY, I cut my anti-depressant to 1/2 dose a day (1.5 pills a day) as all the hormones being released due to fat loss scared the dickens out of me. I tend to go up, way more then going down. I cycle every 4-5 days regularly. Just how I am. Then when I returned to work, I found myself being short and nasty with people.... just not how I am, so I up the anti-depressant to 2 pills a day (normal dosage is 3); then about a month ago, I had a really horrible day and ended up punching my desk. Very irritable...short with people....just plain mean and people were noticing and commenting asking me if I was OK. The evening, I up'd my anti-depressant back to 3 pills a day. According to my Psych, it should be about another 3-4 weeks before I know if I am back to normal again. He did say because I had RNY, I may actually need more anti-depressant a day to absorb and get a normal dosage. I wish I could do something so I didn't cycle every 4-5 days.... but it's just become my normal.
My boyfriend, Reggie, is definitely a good influence on me. Last night I was craving a Rita's cotton candy italian ice. He reminded me it's sugar water and won't help me get to MY GOAL. So today, I am celebrating Reggie and how he influences me.
Now that I've rambled on way to long for me..... SORRY!!! What are you celebrating today??
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First thing I'm celebrating is that despite the ups and downs, you come here with a fabulous attitude and push so much harder than many have to push!!! Congrats on that, and the supportive boyfriend.
I guess today I'm celebrating 8 days in a row without my energy shot - and still 95% functional.
I'll also celebrate that I made it through yesterday's trial of chewing sugarless gum after each meal instead of reaching for an on plan dessert. The desserts have been within my allowances, but I think they are setting me back, so I'm going to finish up what I have made up, maybe (might make my guy eat them, or freeze them for another time), but my current goal is to make it to or through the weekend without a sweet treat...
I'm also celebrating that in this group there really is no need to apologize for sharing when you need to! (hugs)0 -
Today I am celebrating that yesterday I was flirted with....by someone other than my husband!!! hahaha, horrible I know but it felt great. He actually tripped on his words a few times. Unfortunately since my "game" is non-existent (been with my guy 8 years), I had NO IDEA that this guy was flirting. I just thought it was very friendly chit chat with our IT guy fixing my server issues.
My co-workers were telling me their view of the conversation and I was amazed. Very vain I know but a girls gotta feel, how she feels
Tried a new circuit class at the gym last night then came home to one kiddo with a cut on foot that needed some skin glue and the other kiddo with a busted nose. Guess they played hard yesterday.
I am here, I am 118lbs lighter than a year and a half ago, I have a great family and friend support system. Its a good place to be.0 -
Thanks for the compliment Carly!!!
What type of energy shot were you doing? I think I missed something somewhere.
It's great you are going for the sugarfree gum. Have you tried the juicy fruit starburst cherry. It's delish for a gum. LOVE IT.
I found that I tend to go out more now.... Reggie's not permitted at my folks house, so we hang at his, go for walks in the park in his neighborhood... I found I need less sleep and tend to function better and am generally happier in the morning (SO not a monring person).0 -
carimiller7391 wrote: »Thanks for the compliment Carly!!!
What type of energy shot were you doing? I think I missed something somewhere.
It's great you are going for the sugarfree gum. Have you tried the juicy fruit starburst cherry. It's delish for a gum. LOVE IT.
I found that I tend to go out more now.... Reggie's not permitted at my folks house, so we hang at his, go for walks in the park in his neighborhood... I found I need less sleep and tend to function better and am generally happier in the morning (SO not a monring person).
I was taking, with medical supervision, the generic form of the 5-Hour Energy drink once daily for each M-F day at work. I was essentially waiting for my way of eating to help with fixing my thyroid for energy...in addition to supplementing B vitamins. This had to do with that food passing out reaction I was having that caused uncontrollable sleeping at work, what I joked was like food narcolepsy (joking was my way of dealing with it). I have sense found out it is called postprandial somulance...and is related to insulin resistance. The caffeine combo helped perk me up until my metabolism picked up and managed it all.
I had to delay taking it a week ago Monday, and so on a whim, I decided to see if I could go without it. Usually by about 7:30 am, I'd be nodding off, despite being fully awake upon arriving at 7:00 am. This was regardless of whether I'd eaten or anything. Changing my way of eating has helped me be a functional morning person (I'd rather be going to bed a 4 am than getting up then), but now I can wake up normally as long as I got a decent amount of sleep (usually 6 hours). It's been shocking. When having my Loaded Tea (I do a combination of the traditional BulletProof type - recipe is written for coffee, but I can't stand it, so tea... - and a Primal version which includes eggs that cook like custard in the coffee's heat), the coconut oil and such I include generally gives me that energy I need and keeps me full for 4-10 hours, depending....
As far as gum, I am doing a "training" study on myself. I'm intentionally not getting flavors I really like, due to binge chewing of gum. I'm doing a tolerable mint flavor so I get that weird taste in my mouth, it's sweet enough to manage the craving, etc., but not sweet enough I'm fiending to finish the whole pack (Sour Patch, and Ice Cubes, oh, and Trident Splash are the worst offenders - I've literally gotten the bag or cube ones with 40+ pieces and eaten it all in a sitting). I'm also staying away from any with more sugar alcohols because those cause me gastro distress in quantity and trigger binges/cravings as if it had been straight sugar... So, yeah, no thanks... But, I'll keep the Starburst flavor in mind should I get this thing managed. My favorite Sour Patch Kids is a combo of one piece Red Punch and one piece Orange, chewed together. Sometimes I would add a piece of lime, too... I've always been one of those people who likes to chew two pieces at once or it doesn't feel like I'm chewing anything....lol...
I'm sorry you're having to juggle the living with your parents aspect, but hopefully, sweet freedom is just around the corner!0 -
Sorry if I miss anyone
Cari I am glad you have a senstive psych doc and he is helping you be self sufficient with your mental health. I really hope the meds kick in for you soon. Also glad the BF is rocking his awesome thing. Hope your parents change their attitude soon. Are they just being over protective?
Carly well done on dropping the caffeine, I am trying to reduce mine at present and definitely feeling the sleepiness as Id let it skyrocket to ridiculous levels again. I need to cut what you guys call soda out for good but it always creeps back in
Melissa...Just woo, get you. I am usually crap at noticing flirting. Rather glad I dont have to face that world anymore though I am sure you must agree. My hubs is rather less subtle when hes trying it on (he pretty much just waves it at me, horrible beast that he is) so I dont have to try and pick up on any hidden cues. Must rock to have it happen though and omg 118lb is amazing. How are your kiddies now
Well IDK, I guess I am celebrating that I am very easy going about my appearance as Neil shaved my hair for me tonight and it turns out I am a grade 2 not a grade 1 for a reason. Its a leeeeetle short. But hey hair grows. And i bleached my mohawk again and its a little brassy so I need to get more bleach tomorrow to whiten it out a touch. For some people as I understand it this might have been a disaster. I am kinda philisophical.
Am also celebrating that I think the tablets are starting to make a small dent. I am actually looking forward to the gym tomorrow. I also have counselling friday and will be good to clear some stuff out as I have ripped my husbands face off twice in 3 days, so possibly a bit on the grumpy side. But small steps I guess0 -
Cari- I hope you can find a way to stop the cycling and yeah for good influences!
Carly-my caffeine consumption has been a bit out of hand lately so I kind of need to try to back off on that. I really don't like chewing gum. I use it when I am baking so I don't get as tempted to sneak a taste. I guess I am weird though because chewing gum tends to make me hungry. That is awesome that you can use that in place of dessert.
Melissa- that is an awesome thing to celebrate. I have been married almost 17 years so I don't recognize the flirting thing either. Do you see yourself as the woman the guy was hitting on or do you still see yourself as the way you were before? I think that is one of the most difficult parts of this whole thing-seeing how you are now.
Lise!?!?!?- I really need to make sure I am not drinking before reading some of your posts. My monitor needed cleaning anyways but I was putting it off. Sounds alot like my hubby.maoribadger wrote: »
My hubs is rather less subtle when hes trying it on (he pretty much just waves it at me, horrible beast that he is) so I dont have to try and pick up on any hidden cues.
Glad to hear the the meds are starting to work even if it is just a little bit.
Today I am celebrating my lack of a panic attack when it came to walking up four flights of stairs. One of the two elevators was out of order and there was a long line for the the other. Stairs were always a big problem for me and my balance wasn't the best but today I just went for it and didn't have a problem. The other woman who walked with me looked a little rough when we were done.
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Melissa, so awesome that you were flirted with. It must feel amazing to have someone besides a loved one notice.
Lise, I'm glad to know the tabs are starting to affect you and you are looking forward to the gym. I keep trying to get to the gym to do some classes. My gym has Zumba and Dance as well as spin, HIIT, Bootcamps and such. I miss Zumba, but for soe odd reason, do not feel like my body is strong enough yet to do it.
Wendy, great job on doing the steps. As far as the cycling.... It's my norm and I just deal with it. I wish there was something I could do for it.0 -
maoribadger wrote: »Carly well done on dropping the caffeine, I am trying to reduce mine at present and definitely feeling the sleepiness as Id let it skyrocket to ridiculous levels again. I need to cut what you guys call soda out for good but it always creeps back in
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Am also celebrating that I think the tablets are starting to make a small dent. I am actually looking forward to the gym tomorrow. I also have counselling friday and will be good to clear some stuff out as I have ripped my husbands face off twice in 3 days, so possibly a bit on the grumpy side. But small steps I guess
I'm not cutting out the caffeine per se, as I'm still having my LOADED Tea for breakfast, but yeah, that extra bit is nice to drop. I'm lucky in that I've never really had problems sleeping with caffeine, not since I was in my early 20's and broke that part of my system when working 2 jobs and drinking Mountain Dew on my late shift since I ignorantly thought it was LOWER in caffeine because of color... LOL!
And I am positively LOVING that you're looking forward to the gym again... Onward and upward. (hugs)0 -
Carly-my caffeine consumption has been a bit out of hand lately so I kind of need to try to back off on that. I really don't like chewing gum. I use it when I am baking so I don't get as tempted to sneak a taste. I guess I am weird though because chewing gum tends to make me hungry. That is awesome that you can use that in place of dessert.
Melissa- that is an awesome thing to celebrate. I have been married almost 17 years so I don't recognize the flirting thing either. Do you see yourself as the woman the guy was hitting on or do you still see yourself as the way you were before? I think that is one of the most difficult parts of this whole thing-seeing how you are now.
Lise!?!?!?- I really need to make sure I am not drinking before reading some of your posts. My monitor needed cleaning anyways but I was putting it off. Sounds alot like my hubby.maoribadger wrote: »
My hubs is rather less subtle when hes trying it on (he pretty much just waves it at me, horrible beast that he is) so I dont have to try and pick up on any hidden cues.
Glad to hear the the meds are starting to work even if it is just a little bit.
Today I am celebrating my lack of a panic attack when it came to walking up four flights of stairs. One of the two elevators was out of order and there was a long line for the the other. Stairs were always a big problem for me and my balance wasn't the best but today I just went for it and didn't have a problem. The other woman who walked with me looked a little rough when we were done.
WIN on the lack of panic attack and reclaiming of balance, Wendy!!! As well as not being "rough" afterward. WIN all that way around.
Yeah, the chewing gum thing - sometimes it does make me hungry, but I've gotten rid of the gums that do this. I kind of have to find a barely tolerable one... It's a psychological thing more than anything. I had gum after lunch (tuna salad) because I was too lazy to go brush my teeth at work...lol, but as snack and after dinner, it was just barely sweetened to kill the tannin edge tea.
Melissa & Wendy - I'm weird in that I've NEVER really noticed flirting, unless it is the college frat boy obnoxious not-real kind of stuff. My guy swears several times it's happened, but I **NEVER** notice anything.
Hee hee - love the "waving" of IT... I'm SO very happy not to have to play childish games about sex and all that like I had to with my ex... Being able to be adult about it with my guy is so FREEING.0
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