When nobody recognizes you!

Merylk34

Over the last few days I have been out and about running into people I have not seen in the last year. Everyone keeps telling me how good I look and how much weight I lost. I guess I don't see it because I look in the mirror everyday. One of my friends I ran into showed me a picture we took together like 8 months ago, and I finally saw it. I've lost 47lbs since my highest. It's a good feeling when people compliment you, but I find myself getting all shy and brushing it off, usually saying I've still got a ways to go. My best friend keeps telling me I should enjoy the compliments and accept them as the truth. Does anyone else have this issue? Almost like when someone tells you that you look great, you almost want to tell them they need to get their eyes checked??

garber6th

I think the way you feel is very common among people who have had WLS. I felt a bit uncomfortable getting compliments at first, and I would brush it off in the same way you do, but I had a friend who said, "Dale, just learn to say thank you", and now that's what I do, say thank you, and move on. It's just such a new thing to be on the receiving end of compliments, and being in that position is a whole new dynamic of interaction for so many of us. Own your success, you have earned it and you have done such a great job, you should be very proud of yourself!

ETA - I also think you will get used to it. For people who haven't seen you in a long time, it's a big difference, but as people get used to your progress, the comments will likely ease up!

joysie1970

I think we are taught at a very young age to be humble and maybe because of past failures we are conditioned to brush off compliments...but I agree with your friend. OWN YOUR SUCCESS! Now to work on walking my talk! LOL! I do the same thing, deep down we know it's the truth - maybe a gracious thank you so much I have worked hard and hope to lose more is what I will go with This week I was called "tiny" twice - I literally laughed out loud at one of the people - thank god it was a close friend of mine. She stopped me in my tracks and looked me in the eye and said you have come so far and look at that waist, you are tiny! I can't imagine how much small you are going to end up! I am so happy for you...I got tears in my eyes. So with that I say OWN IT! Hold your head a little higher say thank you and tuck that little happy in your heart - people are geniunely happy for you and want to share in it

weeziebeth

My new year's resolution this year was to learn to accept complements/comments graciously. It has been a challenge but I think I have accomplished that. I do find myself downplaying my weight loss-responding with 'a little bit' to the question/statement of 'you've lost weight!' and I think thats mostly from fear of regain. But the truth is-it is a huge accomplishment and you (and I) should OWN it!

loriloftness

My natural instinct is to do as you mentioned-- say "oh, I have a ways to go" and brush off the compliment. In my head I think that if I don't, people will think I am being boastful or superior because I have lost weight. I know that is not what is happening, so I am trying to stay present and acknowledge the compliment and just say "thank you" instead.

janet0513

I totally agree. I don't take compliments well and like many here its always "I still have a ways to go" or "I'm getting there". I think part of it is that I can't recognize the changes in myself. I hope that when I reach my goal that I will be able to see what I have accomplished. Right now, I just feel like a work in progress

Thaeda

My natural instinct is to say (in my head of course) "Hold that thought-- because every other time I have lost weight, I gained it back-- this will likely be the same"-- but I am FIGHTING that instinct! When I have that thought, I correct myself and say "I am doing great today". So I have at least stopped projecting that I am going to fail (which is a horrible attitude to have, but very common amongst those of use with long yo-yo histories).

Yes, it can be hard to accept compliments-- my suggestion is you say "thank you" and allow yourself to celebrate your "wins" as they happen.

joysie1970

Side note and a little nsv my future hubs and I went to a wedding Friday night and posted a pic of the two of us first since surgery thanks to this thread I just accepted the compliments with thank yous and XOXOs! What a wonderful motivator it has been!

jove102

My fiancé and I went out last night and I put in this red dress I had not worn in a long time...I felt everyone staring at me...but not In the "she is too fat to be wearing that dress" way...in a very approving way...I sang kareoke and this girl I didn't even know told me I looked like a rock star!

jove102

2BeHappy2

Last week we decided to participate in an extended family get together.
We skipped getting together for Christmas because I was just recently out from surgery so this was their 1st time seeing me.
It was very awkward to say the least!
The conversations went from being mild to almost an interrogation....it made me feel like a deer caught in the headlights.
I think it will be awhile before I put myself in that situation again...it was not fun and I couldn't get away from them!

TN_Tinker

You want to feel real good about yourself say " Thank you but you haven't seen anything yet! "

joysie1970

Jove you love fantastic! Rockstar is very accurate! Sorry to hear that 2BeHappy2, we get lots of questions too - I think people are just curious we just answer them best we can and try to steer them into other topics when it gets to be too much - I hope it doesn't happen again any time soon for you and you can just enjoy your outings.

pawoodhull

I did the same thing initially when told how great I looked or got the "Oh you're so skinny now! (I am not skinny!). I would say something like "Thanks! I'm still working on it." I think a lot of the posters above are right, we are conditioned to humble ourselves for whatever reason. It takes time but eventually you will be able to see the changes, accept this new you and accept the compliments that go with it. You do look great, you have done so well and you deserve the compiments.