25/6/15

maoribadger

How are we doing today folks.

I had a little extra in my paycheck this month so I went to the local running store for some new runners. They were a bit more than I'd usually spend but I had a proper gait analysis done and was stunned by the results. I heel strike on the outer edge of my heel but I have a weakness on the right meaning my right hip pops up when I strike on the right which is probably contributing to my achilles as my leg isnt in alignment (i saw the video in slo mo so I know hes not making this stuff up). The pair he got me to try on brings everything back in straight and also has a higher firmer heel than I am used to and should take the strain off my tendon. Planning on giving them their first airing tonight as I am going running with my sister. I still think running is for weirdos and deviants....but its kind of addictive

How about the rest of you

maoribadger

http://www.runswindon.co.uk/

This is where I got my runners. Im on their FB and Instagram feed. That pic on the front of the website of thedinosaur tshirt is yours truly!

carimiller7391

Love ya Lise, weirdos and deviants.... Had a good chuckle. I'm here. Kind of quiet on here today. As I posted on the MOBO MOTO board, I have things all over my work desk and am multi-tasking here, journalling, food/mood journal, eating and of course working. Feeling really good about yesterday. Reggie and I went to a Buffet. WTH was he thinking, but I made great choices. Had about a spoonful of cheesecake (no crust) so really believe in the power of LCHFMP right now. I wasn't hungry for the rest of the night and fought the urge to munch for no reason.

I'm stealing from the MOBO MOTO board right now.... ZAC, one of the members posted about making Goals for himself. These goals as Karen put it should come from our core values. (stole this too) So with that said, I've been spending some time working on the goals and a road map to get to the end.... including some what ifs??? How to get me back on track, and now throwing the core values in there. For instance, one day I'd like to get married, not because I am lonely or alone, but because I can't see myself spending another minute without this person. ( I know, corny).... So, I only date men who want to eventually get married. Why waste my time with someone who wants to serial date for life?? Right??

I also received my 2 new cookbooks yesterday so I am spending some time going thru them.

What's everyone else up to??

maoribadger

Well I did 2.43km. 3.35km if you include the warm up and cool down. Sadly the mind goblin is pointing out I didnt hit my goal of 2.5km. I hate him sometimes

maoribadger

And on the subject of marriage I can highly reccomend it. I'll tell you why. It is romantic in a twisted kind of way.

My husband is a huge man child and drives me crazy. Hes thoughtless, criticial at times and far too keen to hand responsbility for everything to me. Hes also messy and bc he works a physical job often smells but is too much of a boy to care. In reality he needs to live in a kennel. He drives me utterly batshit. But I wouldnt be without him, he is my right arm. Hes a fuckwit but hes my fuckwit and never a day goes by that I have to doubt he thinks I walk on water and he accepts me as I am. I could cheerfully stab him on many of the days that go by but hes my soulmate

carimiller7391

Lise, you did awesome. You got out there and did something and that is all that counts to me.

Thanks for the marriage advice. I agree, that is why I'd like to get married.... if and only if I find that man.

KnitOrMiss

maoribadger wrote: »

And on the subject of marriage I can highly reccomend it. I'll tell you why. It is romantic in a twisted kind of way.

My husband is a huge man child and drives me crazy. Hes thoughtless, criticial at times and far too keen to hand responsbility for everything to me. Hes also messy and bc he works a physical job often smells but is too much of a boy to care. In reality he needs to live in a kennel. He drives me utterly batshit. But I wouldnt be without him, he is my right arm. Hes a fuckwit but hes my fuckwit and never a day goes by that I have to doubt he thinks I walk on water and he accepts me as I am. I could cheerfully stab him on many of the days that go by but hes my soulmate

carimiller7391 wrote: »

Lise, you did awesome. You got out there and did something and that is all that counts to me.

Thanks for the marriage advice. I agree, that is why I'd like to get married.... if and only if I find that man.

Ladies, let me tell you. I married my "best friend" back in 1995. Over time, I realized that wasn't enough. My ex asked for a divorce, but didn't have the (pardon me) balls to see it through. One day I woke up and was tired of waiting on him to figure things out and finished it all myself (3 years ago on the 29th, it was finally done - signed, sealed, and delivered!).

Now, as Lise so classically stated, I have found my own fuckwit soulmate who drives me utterly batshit crazy, but he fits my insanity so perfectly, I can't explain it. We have zero plans to get married. We've both been miserably married (he got cheated on on his wedding day by his best man and bride BEFORE he could consummate the marriage, just to give an idea here), and we have our own twisted bliss going on.

While I'm not anti-marriage, and I would probably get married again to my love without a second thought, were he ever serious enough to propose, marriage isn't the end all be all of everything. It is that commitment that is paramount. And I'm lucky enough to have that commitment. To me, having that piece of paper that tells you that you HAVE to love someone was counter productive. C and I are together, day in and day out, because we choose to be and choose to stay together, not because it's more complicated to split...and I find that to be quite romantic. We both choose to fall in love more each day, and recommit each day, because we choose to do so.

It would be quite easy to give up and throw in the towel some days, but we are a great balance, and he is what makes my off-balance self feel more balanced. But, on the same token, I have to say that if circumstances changed and we split for whatever reason, I'm quite capable (NOW) of being all good by myself, too. And that was a hard won lesson, but honestly, it makes me appreciate C more. He is mine because we both choose for him to be, as I'm his...not because we need each other codependently or any nonsense...

So, marriage, it could be a good thing or it could be a nothing thing, but it is that love and commitment that makes the universe keep spinning for me.

KnitOrMiss

And Lise, as far as your accomplishment, if you go back to the theory of losing one pound goals being a goal, a single pound at a time, you did 0.1 km 24, almost 25 times. That's a 96% success rate. In school here, that would have been an A+, which means you're Aces in my book, kid!

I really need to get fit for shoes, even though I don't run. Can't right now due to plumbing female gravity issues... Anywho, I have what might be a bone spur or something on my left foot, and it is quite painful at times. My regular doc talked me out of seeing the specialist, and I'll go when I can afford it, but it is ridiculous. She didn't even look at/probe it... Given my history of plantar fasciitis, broken ankle, and humorous engagement of #fatgirljogging, I'm just ... well, just another tick mark in the column of why my doctor doesn't care anymore... A few more and shes FIRED! LOL

maoribadger

Thanks for the thought Carly, Im trying to think this way, its just that damned mind goblin. Hes insidious

carimiller7391 wrote: »

Lise, you did awesome. You got out there and did something and that is all that counts to me.

Thanks for the marriage advice. I agree, that is why I'd like to get married.... if and only if I find that man.

Hope you dont think I was preaching at you. Just saying even if they drive you nuts it doesnt mean they arent the one for you. Sometimes you need a little nudging to keep feeling alive i think. Do you think Reggie might be the one for you?

wennim

Lise- running is so addictive. I started with the dream of doing a 5k in September. I started with running barely a block. Saturday I was up to running 12 miles! I always thought runners were a certain type of strange but now I kind of get it. I even signed up for a half marathon relay in august and a half marathon in late July. I won't be anywhere near the fastest one there but I will finish. And I will be running the half marathon with my husband of 18 years. We are opposites and balance each other out.

carimiller7391

Good morning.

Lise, definitely didn't take your advice as preachy... I appreciated it. I thought Reggie might be him, but after this weekend and some stuff that surfaced, I have a LOT of thinking to do.

Wendy, wow 12 miles. That's awesome!!! Married for 18 years, that's awesome also. Congrats!!!

KnitOrMiss

wennim wrote: »

Lise- running is so addictive. I started with the dream of doing a 5k in September. I started with running barely a block. Saturday I was up to running 12 miles! I always thought runners were a certain type of strange but now I kind of get it. I even signed up for a half marathon relay in august and a half marathon in late July. I won't be anywhere near the fastest one there but I will finish. And I will be running the half marathon with my husband of 18 years. We are opposites and balance each other out.

That's incredible. I would have to drop some serious weight and repair my joints before I could do this, but my interlude with what I call my "fatgirljogging" was intriguing. I despised cross country track in high school, but I have a whole different relationship with my mind these days!

maoribadger wrote: »

Thanks for the thought Carly, Im trying to think this way, its just that damned mind goblin. Hes insidious.

That's his whole job. Too bad he's good at it. Glad that you're better, even if you can't believe that yet. (hugs)

carimiller7391 wrote: »

Lise, definitely didn't take your advice as preachy... I appreciated it. I thought Reggie might be him, but after this weekend and some stuff that surfaced, I have a LOT of thinking to do.

I'm sorry things surfaced over the weekend, and I don't know what those things are obviously, but just remember, in our 30's, we've all accumulated a certain amount of baggage and mental hiccups. Too many factors to consider, the willingness to change and improve factor in hugely, and so many things. But you and Reggie are going on vacation soon, right? Hopefully that length of time should help you think things through... Remember, too, though, that depression lies. And if he's never had to deal with your type of depression before that he may be expressing his fear of letting you down and all that through other outlets simply because he doesn't know how to talk about it or how to deal with it.

One thing I've learned for sure this time around (married before for almost 17 years, on my own for almost 5, and now with my bf of 3 years) is that you have to talk to each other. Assumptions just show us what arrogant jerks we all are. Men and women, and even different times/provocations, we speak different languages. We show our frustrations, confusion, and anxiety through different outlets. Just like somethings you have to massage a muscle cramp away by releasing tension in the muscles leading into the cramp but not itself, sometimes the issues we face have to be addressed by the contributing issues, as where the crap hits the fan isn't always the issue that is the root cause...

(hugs)

maoribadger

carimiller7391 wrote: »

Good morning.

Lise, definitely didn't take your advice as preachy... I appreciated it. I thought Reggie might be him, but after this weekend and some stuff that surfaced, I have a LOT of thinking to do.

Wendy, wow 12 miles. That's awesome!!! Married for 18 years, that's awesome also. Congrats!!!

Its early days for you and Reggie yet maybe the stuff thats surfaced is simply smething to work through to get you back on track. I agree with Carly depression is hard on the outsider too. My husband simply doesnt deal with mine. Hes used to a strong independent take no prisoners hard *kitten* of a wife and when i fall so does he. Its tough because I cant ever truly fall apart and trust him to take care of me and the kids but Ive learned to deal with it and luckily have very good friends who are there to help cushion the fall. Its not his fault really he just doesnt know how to be a grown up. Doesnt make him a bad person though. Not knowing whats worrying you I probably cant help much but am here if you do need to vent xxx

carimiller7391

Thanks Ladies. Reggie isn't going to Vegas with me and if he had it his way, I'd be cancelling the trip also. It's a BBW event in Vegas. Wellroundbbw.com is where you can get more info. He thinks I'm going out there to cheat, whereas, I'm going to see friends. He's very insecure at times. Hard to deal with.

KnitOrMiss

carimiller7391 wrote: »

Thanks Ladies. Reggie isn't going to Vegas with me and if he had it his way, I'd be cancelling the trip also. It's a BBW event in Vegas. Wellroundbbw.com is where you can get more info. He thinks I'm going out there to cheat, whereas, I'm going to see friends. He's very insecure at times. Hard to deal with.

A lot of men with any experience in life in general out there take out on us their experiences from their pasts. I live with this often. I just have to remember to shake it off and love him and live my life. I refuse to stop living my life for someone else, EVER AGAIN... (hugs)

Go out there and enjoy your event, Ms. Cari!!!

And maybe the time apart will help add perspective. Remember, too, that jealousy often reflects fears of inadequacy. You're losing weight, and he's not as much since he's behind as far as surgery schedule, and so he could be worried that if you keep losing weight and gaining health, you'll leave him in the dust for someone new....