Since this is still MFP...
pa_jorg
Posts: 4,404 Member
I saw this article online and thought it might interest some of the Peeps. Thoughts?
http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/im-overweight-boyfriends-not-big-freaking-deal-134800157.html?nopharma=1
http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/im-overweight-boyfriends-not-big-freaking-deal-134800157.html?nopharma=1
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I think it's a great story... I had gone through a similar situation with a guy I thought was way out of my league and my insecurity was the reason things didn't work out. She seems to have her **** together and is confident enough not to let her weight affect her self-esteem. I think that's really great.
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Kudos to the writer. I could never do it. I would feel so self-conscious and wondering why someone like that was with someone like me. I couldn't ever picture us getting physical, all I could see is me suffocating him with my body. It's obviously my insecurities more than him, but it would bother me a lot. I've had crushes on average-weight guys and I picture them seeing me naked and being disappointed. I would rather be with a bigger man who could handle my body size.
Her boyfriend in the article is very cute and she is cute as well, but I do see why they'd get stares and things. You don't usually see a bigger girl with a smaller man.0 -
All of my relationships have been with fit, good looking guys.
I'm that awesome.0 -
He is a chubby chaser.I wonder what will happen when she loses all that weight0
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He is a chubby chaser.I wonder what will happen when she loses all that weight
Or hey, maybe he likes her as a person! Novel thought, I know.0 -
He is a chubby chaser.I wonder what will happen when she loses all that weight
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He is a chubby chaser.I wonder what will happen when she loses all that weight
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!
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To the OP: thank you for sharing this, it's a beautiful story, unusual but sounds like what they have is unconditional love! I want an Ali.0
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Wow. He is one good looking kid!
Def a chubby chaser - I kinda feel awkward now since I had a super attractive ex once and I think I killed our relationship with my insecurities haha.0 -
"I knew he was into big girls—his exes were chubby. Some think it's weird, but it's like having a thing for blondes: It's just a preference."
hmm what could she possbily mean by that ? I am so confused
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How very dare you!"I knew he was into big girls—his exes were chubby. Some think it's weird, but it's like having a thing for blondes: It's just a preference."
hmm what could she possbily mean by that ? I am so confused
"Overweight" people can and must be loved for their personality only (!) and not just by some chubby chaser who finds them attractive physically.
This is because overweight people are ugly and can only be loved for their personality (which on a side note is probably truer than it seems since most men are attracted to a BMI of 15-20).
Thus we are all going to ignore the evidence you provided and pretend this never happened.0 -
How very dare you!"I knew he was into big girls—his exes were chubby. Some think it's weird, but it's like having a thing for blondes: It's just a preference."
hmm what could she possbily mean by that ? I am so confused
"Overweight" people can and must be loved for their personality only (!) and not just by some chubby chaser who finds them attractive physically.
This is because overweight people are ugly and can only be loved for their personality (which on a side note is probably truer than it seems since most men are attracted to a BMI of 15-20).
Thus we are all going to ignore the evidence you provided and pretend this never happened.
I was rolling my eyes are the assertion that he'll up and ditch her as she loses weight.0 -
I most have missed the part of the story where it said she even wanted to lose weight.0
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I most have missed the part of the story where it said she even wanted to lose weight.
She said she wanted to lose 80lbs0 -
I most have missed the part of the story where it said she even wanted to lose weight.
She said she wanted to lose 80lbs
ahh K I must have missed that part.0 -
How very dare you!"I knew he was into big girls—his exes were chubby. Some think it's weird, but it's like having a thing for blondes: It's just a preference."
hmm what could she possbily mean by that ? I am so confused
"Overweight" people can and must be loved for their personality only (!) and not just by some chubby chaser who finds them attractive physically.
This is because overweight people are ugly and can only be loved for their personality (which on a side note is probably truer than it seems since most men are attracted to a BMI of 15-20).
Thus we are all going to ignore the evidence you provided and pretend this never happened.
I was rolling my eyes are the assertion that he'll up and ditch her as she loses weight.
nice hyperbole0 -
How very dare you!"I knew he was into big girls—his exes were chubby. Some think it's weird, but it's like having a thing for blondes: It's just a preference."
hmm what could she possbily mean by that ? I am so confused
"Overweight" people can and must be loved for their personality only (!) and not just by some chubby chaser who finds them attractive physically.
This is because overweight people are ugly and can only be loved for their personality (which on a side note is probably truer than it seems since most men are attracted to a BMI of 15-20).
Thus we are all going to ignore the evidence you provided and pretend this never happened.
I was rolling my eyes are the assertion that he'll up and ditch her as she loses weight.
nice hyperbole
You are either misunderstanding me, or you are using "hyperbole" in a manner I've not seen before. Elaborate?0 -
Not sure if anyone has seen the update to the original article.
http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/girlfriend-weighs-more-170300690.html0 -
Just read the update.
He basically admits that he prefers bigger women...I hesitate to say he is a "chubby chaser" or a fan of "BBW" women but he definitely expresses a preference. Whether it's a fetish only he probably knows, but...
I wish we could see an article like this but have the smaller person say, "You know I've never really been into bigger women/men but his/her personality won me over." It just sucks to read a great article where a smaller man proclaims he loves a bigger woman...but then admits he likes that body type to begin with. It's like a great article until then.
When a guy seems into me (which rarely happens) one of my first thoughts really is, what if he is a chubby chaser or whatever, especially if he is on the thinner side (which always seems to happen. Why do guys who I could break by sitting on them seem to always like me??). Does he really like me or does he like my body? I wish we could see more examples of "mismatched" couples like these in real life where the people like each other for each other and not their body type.0 -
I think it is a cute story and I wish them well. That Ali is a good looking guy!
Thanks for sharing!0 -
Well,on the contrary there is nothing wrong with expressing a preference and acting in accord with the preference.He basically admits that he prefers bigger women...I hesitate to say he is a "chubby chaser" or a fan of "BBW" women but he definitely expresses a preference. Whether it's a fetish only he probably knows, but...
I wish we could see an article like this but have the smaller person say, "You know I've never really been into bigger women/men but his/her personality won me over." It just sucks to read a great article where a smaller man proclaims he loves a bigger woman...but then admits he likes that body type to begin with. It's like a great article until then.
When a guy seems into me (which rarely happens) one of my first thoughts really is, what if he is a chubby chaser or whatever, especially if he is on the thinner side (which always seems to happen. Why do guys who I could break by sitting on them seem to always like me??). Does he really like me or does he like my body? I wish we could see more examples of "mismatched" couples like these in real life where the people like each other for each other and not their body type.
Unless I am proven that you are a shaman capable of sending your spirit away from your body, stop wondering if someone likes "you" or likes "your body". You are your body as much as your mind.
There is nothing wrong with preferring bigger women and ending up with a bigger woman. Sounds fairly reasonable to me.
He probably came for the body and stayed for her personality.
Now, one last point: "Does he really like me or does he like my body". I can't imagine this not being a problem for someone who isn't by our standards "fat" or someone with a body deemed more desirable by the average person.
Or to rephrase, whether you are fat or thin or muscular, this problem won't go away (and arguably, could be even worse).
This is a false problem that has no solution.0 -
"He's only with you to get a green card"
Americans really think someone in Scotland needs a green card from the USA? For the free healthcare??? For the high paying job market? Puh-lease.
Too funny.
--P0 -
Now, one last point: "Does he really like me or does he like my body". I can't imagine this not being a problem for someone who isn't by our standards "fat" or someone with a body deemed more desirable by the average person.
Or to rephrase, whether you are fat or thin or muscular, this problem won't go away (and arguably, could be even worse).
This is a false problem that has no solution.
I understand, you make a good point. I suppose it's more of a problem for people who are extremely good looking, have a lot of money, etc. For example, I suppose a guy is more likely to genuinely like me than like, Kate Upton, or something, as they could take advantage of her looks, her money, etc. I just will never understand why a thin guy would want to date a larger woman when he could have a thinner woman himself, even though I understand that people like what they like and it may not make sense to everyone.0 -
I just will never understand why a thin guy would want to date a larger woman when he could have a thinner woman himself, even though I understand that people like what they like and it may not make sense to everyone.
It's a tough one - fat people are no different, they just have a different body size.Maybe there was something else about her that caught his eye -- her smile, her eyes, her presence, her self esteem, her clothing, her personality...
When I was 245lbs, and getting back onto the dating scene I thought I HAD to go for bigger men because I was a bigger girl. It saddened me and I hated the process because a lot of them I wasn't attracted too. I did find one I was attracted too - more his personality - because when it came time for intimacy I didn't enjoy it. (bash me, go ahead, just being honest).
At the end of the day we all have our preferences, but I can tell you with my current boyfriend - he presented with NONE of my preferences and won me over with what was inside. At the end of the day, and after all my dating nightmares, I just want to be treated right...yes you must be attracted, but you can't help what attracts you even if it goes against your norms.
Confidence goes A LONG way!0 -
I just will never understand why a thin guy would want to date a larger woman when he could have a thinner woman himself, even though I understand that people like what they like and it may not make sense to everyone.
I used to think this way too (and sometimes still catch myself doing so) so I can definitely relate. In the end, that negative thinking just pushes away great guys. Now, if someone is ONLY after you for sex and you fit his 'type' then it's ok to be skeptical, but if you think he really wants the whole package, then why not at least give him a chance if you're into him too?0
