how much does your husband/boyfriend do???

emmamc252

just looking for some perspective.
Basically when I had our 1st child I did everything, to be honest I wanted to and hubby does work a lot so this made sense.
We now have a 4 1/2 week old son and dd is now 23 months and DH is having to help out more, similarily when I was in the later stages of pregnancy DH had to help out more. BUT its been really hard because DD just does not accept him for a lot of things, particularly when she is tired. she is a terrible sleeper and I have to setlle her 3-5 times a night and she won't let hubby do this, she just screams for me if he does try.
The reason I'm asking is because I want to go back to the gym and it would mean DH watching the 2 of them in the morning (when they would hopefully all still be asleep) but he is reluctant to do it incase dd wakes up. neither of us have much "me time" infact I don't think I have any, but I think because DH is now looking after the baby and having to play with dd and cook tea some nights he feels like he's doing more than his fair share. can someone give me some perspective???

my days, I wake up with dd and DS, we get them dressed, teeth brushed and washed etc, then I get dressed in about 5 minutes with them.
then we go downstairs and I do bottle for baby and breakfast for dd. then we play/I have a quick tidy up.
most mornings dd has some club or other (she doesn't go to nursery, I am on maternity leave until dec and have been off work due to complications with the pregnancy for the last 5 months) so we normally go out about 10am.
after her club we go to my mums for lunch most days, then in the afternoon we go to the park or for a walk around the town/beach etc. then another play etc.
we get home about 5-5;30 and settle back in at home, this is our tv/chill out time
daddy comes home about 6 so either I will continue to play/watch the kids and he cooks tea or vice versa
6;30-7 is dinner time,
7-7;30 one of us plays the other tidys after dinner time
7;30-8pm play time together, or dd and I will go have our bath (we have a huge jaccuzzi tub so we normally get in together)
8pm bed time for dd so I take her up to bed and DH watches baby (normally baby in bouncer and daddy on computer/watching tv)
8;30 I will do any remaining chores then we watch a movie or something together.
10;30 our bed time.

in the night, we take it in turns to get up and feed the baby and I have to get up to settle dd as she won't have daddy.

daddy currently
gets up with us and goes downstairs, washes bottles and empties dishwasher/washing machine and sorts bag for the day,
then he goes and gets read for work (45 minutes!!! )
he has breakfast with us
off to work at 8;45
gets home at 6ish and then its as above.

he works 6 days a week, sundays we spend seeing his family/go out for the day after having a big tidy in the morning, so he plays with dd whilst I do that.

am I putting too much on him? is this about right???

kitka82

Your DH does a lot, especially to be working 6 days a week. My husband helped me out with our kids and some of the housework, but not like that.

I didn't start a fitness regimen until my youngest was 2. I used DVDs and eventually took Zumba classes and started using the gym at my job.

Can you find anyone else at all to watch your kids for an hour or two so you can get to the gym? Or else go to the gym a few times a week (maybe not every day). And cook an easy dinner sometimes so hubby can have a little breather when he gets home. I know you both work hard (girl I KNOW lol), but if he is going to do a little more by watching the babies while you work out, maybe take a little something off of him to balance out. They are always going to feel like we have the easier job LOL. When I get frustrated because I feel like I'm always running around while my husband just goes to work and comes home, my mother always tells me "honey, they cannot do what we do." It is wonderful that your husband is so helpful and supportive. Mine is too

Also, you and your husband really need to each carve out a little "me" time. It's so crucial to your physical health, as well as the health of your relationship.

This phase will not last forever. It gets so much easier.

MelissaL582

I would have to agree with kitka. I couldn't have said it any better.

lmsky12

My husband used to watch my daughter while I worked out, but it wasn't a fun time as she cried the whole time because she wanted to "play" like Mommy was doing. Now, I work out during her nap. I was worried at first it would be too loud, but I put on white noise in her room and close the door. It's so much better for me this way. She has woken up early before, but that's rare, and at least I got in SOME exercise before she did. Good luck!

jmcreynolds91

My husband works alot too. gone at 5 in the morning and not home until sometimes 9 at night. So he is at work a ton! During the week he doesn't do much with either kid. But on the weekends he is pretty involved and will pick up a lot of stuff that needs to be done while getting in quality time with them. My youngest is now 11 months and i have a three year old. Youngest was such a horrible sleeper and still is and when she is tired, she will still NOT take her daddy. She only wants me which is irritating since my three yr old is so independent. Ever since she was born she has been very clingy and a "hard" kid. I have been doing exercise in my home since she was four months. Most of the time they play on the floor and my three yr old entertains her. She is starting to walk which is very helpful. But my husband hasn't ever done a ton with her. She only screams every time he has her which puts her with me all the time. With my son, it was completely different. So never get any time alone. But it DOES get better!!