anyone else still gets confused?

4homer

Hi i am andy, 28, dad of 1. I guess i am just curius if anyone else is like me. You know some daysI am sure im gay, other i feel straight, others bi, and others i just dont know. Im tired of the flux of it. Tired of feeling crazy ya know. Im almost 30 and I should have this figured out by now lol.

LenGray

I can definitely relate. I have a lot of days where I'm not sure about my sexuality or gender identity (or lack of either). It drove me nuts...Nowadays, I figure that things like that will get sorted out in the wash and that I should just be the me that I feel like being each day

HedgeHaug

Maybe it's less of an identity and more who you love at a given time. Perhaps it is a soft description rather than a hard edged definition of "you". It is you who knows your heart and true self and I believe it is ok for that self to be questioning or in flux. I think it's terrific that you are asking yourself about important internal issues!

gemz500

Looking for bi men friends please add x

beccas27

I have been with a man for 16 years, but has always been very bi-curious!.. He knows this as well! Maybe one day I will find the one. Weird I know. But I just think women are beautiful.

Gretchen_To_Be

If my path leads to transition, it will certainly get confusing for my wife and me...either she will need to become more flexible in her orientation, or we're headed for trouble. I'm almost certain I will continue to find women attractive, because I just don't find anything appealing about the male aesthetic. Probably why I don't like what I see in the mirror.

learningtolove

Ive been struggling with this big time the past month or so.
I was SO sure I was bisexual for the past 10 years,and now Im realizing I may be gay. But I dont want to commit to it in case it changes again,and at times I am still attracted to men sexually,just not romantically.

4homer

Thanks for the reply every one. I been thinking this over alot I think I have to come to decision that I don't care for now. I mean I know it's important but my focus right now is my son and getting healthy and less about my sexuality. I think since I wrote the op I have come to better place in my head.

HG93022

I have gone back and forth for the past thirty years... bi, gay, straight, then bi again, and then gay again.. In a very happy lesbian relationship for 2+years now.. and still I am guessing I will be bi again someday, because just like learningtolove said, "I am still attracted to men sexually, just not romantically." I don't think we need to give in to the pressure to make a decision and stick with it simply because of discomfort with change. Just do what feels right and know it will be okay.

4homer

Thanks hg and dirac and your right. Eventually I will but for now I'm living in the moment just trying to be the best person, best son, best brother but most importantly best father I can be!

mandieinheels

I totally agree with DiracDrynx, I have taken the long path to realizing, I now know I am a trans woman, but sexuality is fluid for sure, so why kill myself trying to name it

calyma11

That's pretty much why I ID as "queer" now rather than lesbian/bi/pan/etc... I came out as bi when I was 12, pan when I was about 19-20 and I've been using queer for about 4-5 years. To a lesser extent, my gender is the same. I've never felt like or wanted to be a man but there are lots of days when I don't feel like or want to be a woman either.

I got really tired of obsessing over it and I've kind of just learned to shrug and go "well, this is how I feel today" and leave it at that.

stacyhaddenham

Now you know why I prefer the term "orientation dynamic". It allows me to describe me without putting myself in a box.

kathy0224

a) Be whoever you want to be.
b) Love whoever you want to love.
c) Never let another person's opinion of you get in the way of your happiness.
d) Stressing over labels literally gets you nowhere. Just be yourself. Eventually, you'll just know.

I love this!

acstl

This is one of the reasons I hate all labels. I'm just "me". I know some people need to be able to identify with a larger group, and that's fine. I just don't want to be defined by any label I give myself or anyone else gives me.

Hikesandhalfmarathons

I used to worry about it, or spend a lot of time thinking about it, but now I've generally accepted that sexuality as a whole is extremely fluid, and the fluidity of my sexuality isn't really a big deal anymore. I'll love who I love and be attracted to whatever I'm attracted to, and just roll with the waves instead of worrying about it.
I definatley go through phases of being mainly attracted to one gender over the other and things, but it is what it it is.

LaurensE1

Sexuality can always be fluid. Don't do boxes!