Struggling

strippedandvital

I am new to the group, but not to MFP or the ED struggle (EDNOS). My highest weight was 302 a few years ago, and as of last week, I have lost 80lbs and am at 222. However, 55lbs of that has just been lost over the past 6 months... I have MOSTLY gotten here through very healthy means... increased activity, decreased eating out, and almost completely abolished alcohol and soda pop. However, now that I am getting so close to the 200, a goal I thought unattainable, I am having a really hard time not hopping on the scale every day and altering my meal plans according to that number. I have noticed myself slipping in subtle ways... taking the longer route to work, telling myself I am not hungry (even if I am), skipping dessert... skipping actual meals... Thinking about exactly how many calories are in each grape, wondering if it's soon enough to still throw up dinner w/o absorbing too many cals... You know the routine. My concern is that I am slowly starting to see the numbers again instead of the health benefits. Does anyone have any suggestions on avoiding that long slide back into my old patterns of starvation, binging, & purging?

fattybattyy

I'm on a similar boat, and don't have the best advice. Are you seeing a therapist and/or nutritionist? That helps me. Just remember skipping meals almost ALWAYS leads to binges. So bring some nuts! Almonds and macadamia nuts are a great choice. And numbers are nothing- it's about how your clothes fit and how you feel.

its_a_secret459

I would suggest talking to your therapist and getting a registered dietian if you don't have one. I know it's hard but skipping meals leads to binges and feeds the cycle. Snack on dried fruit if you feel like you don't want to have a big snack.

younce7

I got a huge wake up call Sunday, my stomach was empty and i started feeling incredible pain in my side. It was so bad a was sobbing and i couldnt stand up all the way. From what i can tell it is most likely a stomach ulcer. This led me to do some research on the dangers associated with bulimia. Now mind you im only on day 2 of no purging but so far every time i feel the urge to binge i look up the dangers and it reminds me that i have people that love me and i need to stay healthy so i can be here for them.

strippedandvital

Thank you all for the replies. Unfortunately, both a therapist and a nutritionist are well outside of my means currently, but I am being very honest with the people in my home so at least there is accountability. I had a bit of a scare when I realized I gained about 5 lbs back, and then went three days without eating, which of course set off my ulcer in a worse way than I have ever experienced... proving once again, the ED way is NOT the right way!