Honest opinions please!!

Chezzie84

In the early part of next year, I am buying my headdress and I am going to book a dress try on so I can see the two together.

My mom lives in France and it would be far too expensive to fly over so I was going to ask my mother in law to be if she would like to come with me.

One of my reasons I would like to involve her is that she lost her daughter to pneumonia 14 years ago (aged 19) and while I am in no way trying to replace her, I thought it would be nice for her to be able to do the mother/daughter things since she does not have another daughter, only a son (my other half).

What do you think?
Am I being presumptuous in thinking this is something the MOTG would like to do?
Do you think it will upset her?

brisingr86

I think it doesn't hurt to ask. My family is 1300 miles away so I actually did my first dress shopping with my future mother and sister in law. I did end up buying my dress with my mom on a trip home, but that was kind of important to me for my mom to see the dress. I think it's nice to ask (I don't think it's presumptuous) and you have to trust that if it would upset her, she will say no. I wouldn't bring up her daughter at all, I would just keep it simple, you're setting up an appointment to get your headdress and see the headdress and dress together and wondering if she would like to come (willing to come to offer her opinion).

CostaRica120

A lot of brides include their FMILs in that process, so go for it! Doesn't need to have anything to do with your mom not being available or the loss of her daughter...it's just that you'd like to share the experience with her!

Chezzie84

Thank you both for your answers