Scared

Mersie1

Hi all! I'm really struggling! I am 44 and have dealt he all forms of ED for over 20 years. Have been seeing a therapist and nutritionist. Just told them that due to $ issues and that I've been feeling so strong I would try going it without them for a while. Have battled some injuries, herniated disc 2 years ago, broken foot this last summer. Finally had a period of feeling good physically. Back to my love, running, but much more scaled back. Lifting in a group w a trainer so I could be careful w my back. Starting some yoga. A week ago, started to have hip pain, went to pt. now it's really and. I fear it's the disc prob agai . I can barely walk. No clue what I'm going to do to get this resolved. Another mri? Spinal shots?? We don't have the $. Should be saving for my son to get certain therapies and more time w tutor and same for his sister. Already in a strained marriage so struggle to get the support I need. My husband is very triggering w my ED! He is always watching what he eats and loses his mind if he skips a workout. No idea how I'm going to get through this!!! Took out my stress on my eating the past two days so I'll try to recommit to my meal plan today. But then I get so rigid w it I feel like that's en ED in itself. Ugh! And this makes me miss my mom so much more- she died many years ago!!! I need to talk to her!! She's the one I want to lean on!

Beautiful_Warrior94

I am so sorry to here you struggling. I understand how you feel. I struggled with body image issues most of my life and was diagnosed with anorexia/bulimia when I was 17...I'm 21 now. I still have anxiety over if I will relapse. But my boyfriend supports me, well he is the only one supportive in my life. I flushed all my laxatives down the toilet so I was not tempted. But still get anxious from time to time. It's hard to get over this illness. And it's a tough road. Trust me, I love running but can't get back into running because I had hip surgery from my bones being so fragile and can only take it easy in workouts. If you need a buddy for support, add me.

Also have you tried talking to your husband about how he is triggering you? I assume he is aware of your health problems. That's what a marriage is, they communicate. Talk to him and ask him gently not to say those specific things around you until you know for sure you are completely recovered.

I had to tell people to please not say things like how they only ate once today, or they didn't eat at all. Because it is a simple trigger to me.

Have you tried swimming? That would really help with your back as well in the healing process.

Byronic_Ryu

Have you ever heard of the WRAP workbook? It has helped me keep track of staying well and what to do when triggered or having certain symptoms.