Guest lists

Chezzie84

How are you all deciding who is on you guest list and who isn't?

I have the issue with certain family members who I don't want to invite at all but feel that have to to keep the peace.
I don't see them or hear off them from one end of the year to the next except at weddings, funerals, christmas or they want something from me etc etc, you know the usual. Even though we have each other's mobile numbers and are on Facebook (I have tried contacting them and keep receiving no replies).
Some of them didn't even acknowledge that we are even engaged when we announced it.

Is it ok to not invite people who are not in our life and who have no interest in our life from my side of the family? and if yes, how do I tackle people who will comment?
My other half gets to decide whether people from his family/friend circle are eliminated or not and he has chosen not to eliminate anyone.

Fitforevermore

we're having it abroad to avoid all this! Only the dedicated will come I took a punt and invited a lot of my dad's family (12 siblings), knowing they wouldnt come, but then they couldnt say i didn't invite them!

Chezzie84

I wish this is what we could have done, but our grandmothers wouldn't be able to travel far and we didn't want to exclude them.
Family politics are the worse kind =(

CostaRica120

I think that if you have the room in your guest list, you should invite them. Not inviting them will only push them away further and if they don't care about your wedding, then they'll just decline the invite, so it won't make a difference in the end. We invited several family members that we knew wouldn't attend, just so they wouldn't feel they were snubbed.

Alioth

You don't have to invite anyone but immediate family and close friends if you don't want to. So I would do whatever is least stressful for you. Will it cause more stress to invite or to not invite? Will it hurt your budget if you invite them? Can you plead off with a "We can only afford a small wedding," excuse?

My family is spread out all over the country. The fact that we only see each other at weddings and funerals makes me want to see them more, not less. My mother is determined that they are ALL coming. My groom's family lives closer, but they don't all get along. He is all for not inviting certain cousins, aunts, and uncles because he feels the same way as you do. I told him to invite them anyway, ask for RSVPs and plan on a bunch not showing up. I think it's typical for about 1/3 of wedding guests not to show for weddings? The last wedding I went to, only half of the invited guests showed up. They had so many empty chairs and leftover food. Last I checked, we were up to 76 family members and a total guest list of about 200. So I'm planning food and chairs for 125-150. If stuff runs out, it runs out.

Chezzie84

Thanks all
I have decided to invite them and see what happens x