My year in review
wennim
Posts: 276 Member
Very quiet in here but just wanted to post.
I didn't make my goal. I had some big dreams about being at my goal weight (currently thinking 140lbs) by the time my birthday rolled around. That was set at the beginning of 2015 when I was 190ish. I hardly lost any weight this year. Yes I know any weight lost is good but after seeing the 2-3 lbs lost a week at the beginning it was really harsh to see it drop off and even stop for 6 months. I think what makes it harder was the fact that I am now 40 years old and still overweight with no concept of what I look like. No matter how many games of "bigger or smaller" my husband and I play I still don't see myself as the normal sized person with a little to lose around the middle instead of as the largest person in the room who has to worry if a chair will hold my weight.
I wasted some time and was reading some of my earlier posts on here and I may not have lost all the weight I wanted to by now but I am in such a different place now both mentally and physically that I am kind of surprised. There was a post when I first got my bike and I remember how much I used to hurt after just a 15 minute ride and now I can ride for hours. I could barely walk at a 2 mph pace on my treadmill for 20 minutes....now I have run up to 14 miles in a stretch at a pace of 5mph. I went sledding with the boys last weekend, something I hadn't done in years due to my size. People don't recognize me anymore. My skin is clearer, I don't get sick as often and I no longer find excuses to not work out. I did cut back on my running a bit since the snow and ice makes me slow down a bit but I am still doing a solid 25 miles a week plus my biking. Weight isn't going anywhere but as long as I feel good I'm not going to worry about it.
All my friends are posting their "new year,new me" plans on facebook and waiting for the congratulations and likes every time they post about going to the gym. I know these people so I know in a week or two it will dwindle and sputter out so I comment while it lasts in hope that it will give someone the motivation to continue. As for me I am pretty happy with the 2015 me and I think I'll keep it for awhile.
I didn't make my goal. I had some big dreams about being at my goal weight (currently thinking 140lbs) by the time my birthday rolled around. That was set at the beginning of 2015 when I was 190ish. I hardly lost any weight this year. Yes I know any weight lost is good but after seeing the 2-3 lbs lost a week at the beginning it was really harsh to see it drop off and even stop for 6 months. I think what makes it harder was the fact that I am now 40 years old and still overweight with no concept of what I look like. No matter how many games of "bigger or smaller" my husband and I play I still don't see myself as the normal sized person with a little to lose around the middle instead of as the largest person in the room who has to worry if a chair will hold my weight.
I wasted some time and was reading some of my earlier posts on here and I may not have lost all the weight I wanted to by now but I am in such a different place now both mentally and physically that I am kind of surprised. There was a post when I first got my bike and I remember how much I used to hurt after just a 15 minute ride and now I can ride for hours. I could barely walk at a 2 mph pace on my treadmill for 20 minutes....now I have run up to 14 miles in a stretch at a pace of 5mph. I went sledding with the boys last weekend, something I hadn't done in years due to my size. People don't recognize me anymore. My skin is clearer, I don't get sick as often and I no longer find excuses to not work out. I did cut back on my running a bit since the snow and ice makes me slow down a bit but I am still doing a solid 25 miles a week plus my biking. Weight isn't going anywhere but as long as I feel good I'm not going to worry about it.
All my friends are posting their "new year,new me" plans on facebook and waiting for the congratulations and likes every time they post about going to the gym. I know these people so I know in a week or two it will dwindle and sputter out so I comment while it lasts in hope that it will give someone the motivation to continue. As for me I am pretty happy with the 2015 me and I think I'll keep it for awhile.
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Replies
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Heya, Wendy - sorry for being quiet, I was on vacation the last couple weeks of the year, so didn't have access.
Wow... I love hearing all this... You're choosing to see maintenance and slower progress as successes, and that's amazing, because the old you wouldn't have.
Me, I'm in a lot of the same boat as you. I didn't make my goals, even the lowest ones, for last year. I even back slide a good bit. But I have my health-mostly, and I have sanity-as much as needed to maintain life-any more than that is boring. Etc.
I don't really like where I am, because I'm in a "terrified to ever succeed because that place doesn't exist in my reality" kind of mind space. I responded to a few things here and a thing in a binge group I'm in, and I realized that I need to suck it up and find my chutzpah. A favorite quote says, "Courage is not the absence of fear; it is the determination that something else is more important than the fear."
If I was fighting a battle for someone else, I could give my all, fearlessly, and win, and stay in that space. But somehow, for me, for myself, it doesn't work the same. I'm working on loving myself as fully as I do others, as forgivingly, and all that... I don't even know why I do this, but I know most of us get stuck in that loop...
I don't really have concrete physical things I can focus on right now, as my physicality has been highly restricted, but.... I'm going to have to find that chutzpah and figure out why I allow myself to get stuck in my head...
Hugs and luck and love to us all!
Carly0
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