QueenofHearts' Journal
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QueenofHearts023
Posts: 421 Member
Hello there! 
My name is Leanne. I'm 23, 5'2 and 136lb. About 2 years ago, I lost 28lb, and then maintained. I stopped because people kept telling me I was getting too thin.
Truth is, I'm by no means as thin as they said I am. And my low confidence when going out and me feeling fat and uncomfortable in my body speaks volumes...and it's specifically saying "You've made a big mistake by stopping and listening to what others think. You stopped to make them happy, and now YOU'RE not happy!"
So here I am, trying to lose 30lb more. It's a lot harder this time around. I've gotten so used to eating at maintenance that I'm finding it really hard to moderate myself and eat a little less. Even if it's only 300 calories less a day!
I've decided to start logging again, not quite as obsessively like I used to, but good enough to see results and keep myself in the "zone". I hope I will be able to stick to eating less long enough to get used to it, and lose the weight I want to lose.
Wow, I'm gonna stop rambling now. Hahaha
My name is Leanne. I'm 23, 5'2 and 136lb. About 2 years ago, I lost 28lb, and then maintained. I stopped because people kept telling me I was getting too thin.Truth is, I'm by no means as thin as they said I am. And my low confidence when going out and me feeling fat and uncomfortable in my body speaks volumes...and it's specifically saying "You've made a big mistake by stopping and listening to what others think. You stopped to make them happy, and now YOU'RE not happy!"
So here I am, trying to lose 30lb more. It's a lot harder this time around. I've gotten so used to eating at maintenance that I'm finding it really hard to moderate myself and eat a little less. Even if it's only 300 calories less a day!
I've decided to start logging again, not quite as obsessively like I used to, but good enough to see results and keep myself in the "zone". I hope I will be able to stick to eating less long enough to get used to it, and lose the weight I want to lose.
Wow, I'm gonna stop rambling now. Hahaha
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Replies
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Queen, don't listen to people like that. Just because you are tiny doesn't mean that you are unhealthy or too thin. If you are still eating enough nutritients and aren't starving yourself to get there then tell them to shove it. By any chance was it larger women telling you to eat more? Sounds like a touch of jealousy.
If you are having a hard time scaling back what you eat, why don't you try and up your working out? Throw in some weight training and then when the fat falls off you have some definition in your muscle to show. Its really hard to tell anyone with muscle definition they are too skinny.
Good luck on getting back to your wanted weight.0 -
Queen, don't listen to people like that. Just because you are tiny doesn't mean that you are unhealthy or too thin. If you are still eating enough nutritients and aren't starving yourself to get there then tell them to shove it. By any chance was it larger women telling you to eat more? Sounds like a touch of jealousy.
If you are having a hard time scaling back what you eat, why don't you try and up your working out? Throw in some weight training and then when the fat falls off you have some definition in your muscle to show. Its really hard to tell anyone with muscle definition they are too skinny.
Good luck on getting back to your wanted weight.
Thanks so much for the reply! Yeah it was an older lady, she's not very overweight and she's sort of a mother figure for me. She actually told me I had to promise her I won't lose anymore otherwise she will send me to Inpatient for an eating disorder
...so I made the promise...
Fast forward to today and I realize that I'm miserable in my body, and that I made a promise I can't and won't keep. Turns out she's jealous because she struggles to lose weight, she listens to too many fads. I was disappointed when I discovered this - because I guess it felt to me like real concern for me in the beginning but it turns out it was all about her?
I do work out, the problem at the moment is just that I'm "mind-hungry". I just have to keep myself busy when I feel vulnerable to overeating. Oh, and I need to learn to talk to people when I feel sad instead of going out to buy 2 candybars, 2 ice cream cones, and a package of cookies to drown my sorrows in.
Geez sorry for these essays! I love writing!
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No problem, I figured it would be someone that was jealous. Everyone has a body weight range that they should be in, by the sounds of it yours is a bit lighter than you are now, closer to where you used to be seems how you had to try and eat your way into your new weight.
The good news is you realize now that you aren't happy with the way you look and feel now and have made the decision to change it and get to a place that makes you happy. You also know what you had to do back then to make the progress you wanted.
Yeah for a petite girl, two chocolate bars, two ice cream cones and a bag of cookies is a little extreme, come to think of it, that's extreme for me at 242 pounds! But that's why we are all here, to make the necessary changes that we need too. Slowly bit by bit I hope we can all get there. I am sure that with a little drive and the help of the people on here you can get back in the groove and in no time you will be smiling when you look in the mirror!
I will surely be following you and cheering you on!
Jeff
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No problem, I figured it would be someone that was jealous. Everyone has a body weight range that they should be in, by the sounds of it yours is a bit lighter than you are now, closer to where you used to be seems how you had to try and eat your way into your new weight.
The good news is you realize now that you aren't happy with the way you look and feel now and have made the decision to change it and get to a place that makes you happy. You also know what you had to do back then to make the progress you wanted.
Yeah for a petite girl, two chocolate bars, two ice cream cones and a bag of cookies is a little extreme, come to think of it, that's extreme for me at 242 pounds! But that's why we are all here, to make the necessary changes that we need too. Slowly bit by bit I hope we can all get there. I am sure that with a little drive and the help of the people on here you can get back in the groove and in no time you will be smiling when you look in the mirror!
I will surely be following you and cheering you on!
Jeff
Thank you so much sir! Best wishes for you on your journey as well. 0 -
So this legit just happened to me. I was walking along (keep in mind I walk the streets everyday, and all of my neighbours are pretty used to seeing me walking around), minding my own business, when a neighbour stopped by me and it went like this:
Neighbour: "Hey! You shouldn't walk so much, your legs will fall off!"
Me: "Oh no, I love to walk. It's my hobby."
Neighbour: "What was that?"
Me: "Walking is my hobby."
Neighbour: **blank stare**
Me: **looks away awkwardly**
Neighbour: "Yeah, I'd rather drive."
Is it so weird that it's a hobby for me? I guess I should have explained its not so much the walking that's the hobby, the walking is just a "mindless exercise", but it does encourage the actual hobby. I have a very active and clear imagination. A certain type of music encourages my imagination to get going, and walking makes it so clear and vibrant.
So when I walk, I put my earphones in, and I pretty much bring my imagination to the real world. I can envision myself in a complete alternate world. It's literally one of those "Watch out for that rock!" things...I am completely oblivious to everything that's actually happening around me at that point. It's one of my stress-relievers.
Anyway, it was just a really awkward situation I wanted to post. I found it weird that someone thought I was weird because I have a weird habit of walking.
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Today went really well IMO. I worked out twice as much as I normally do, that's part of a new challenge I have set for myself. I want to improve more on my fitness. My legs are really fatigued now, so stretching. Lots of stretching!
I also stayed within my calorie goal which is a huge bonus since I've not been doing so well the last few days. Really proud of myself for that. Had to change up my menu slightly though. I wanted to make chicken ala king, but I didn't have enough time to cook by the time I got to go home (my dad eats at set times) so I had take out. KFC. A grilled chicken wrap and fries.
I'm not worried about it though, it fit well into my calorie goal and I did need the fat from the fries.
Here's hoping tomorrow will be just as good as today! Taking it one day at a time. 0 -
I think a good come back to the you're too skinny naysayers is "I'm not skinny, I'm strong" followed by some bragging about what your body is capable of.0
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Kettlecat that is a great come back. Queen of hearts it sounds like you're getting back on track. I to love to plug in to music and walk. When I was fit before, I walked every day. The weather here in Kentucky makes it hard right now. But when spring hits I'm going back to it. I'm glad you are getting back to a place where you are happy with yourself. I hope to get to that point too.0
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I had some cravings tonight, but I started drawing so I kind of forgot about them. Drawing is a great distraction (not to mention I get to change my profile pic really often Lol) , I just don't always feel like doing it...otherwise I would probably never struggle with cravings! Other than that today went well.
My legs are less fatigued, I think they must be getting used to the extra walking, or the stretching is helping haha. Hopefully they won't keep me awake again tonight. They ached all night last night! I woke up like every 30 minutes because of it. 0 -
I lost some weight! Weighed in at 0.5kg less today. I'm really proud of that, but I don't think I'll work out today. I don't feel so good. Feel kind of sick, plus my lower back hurts.
Maybe I'll work out much later today.
I had some overeating this weekend, but apparently not enough to stall my weight loss so I'm happy with that. 0 -
The really sweet part about the weight news is if you have over eaten and there's still some in your belly or you are carrying extra water because of it, you will see it on the next weigh in Now get out and go for a nice walk. Whats your weather doing down there? 0
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The really sweet part about the weight news is if you have over eaten and there's still some in your belly or you are carrying extra water because of it, you will see it on the next weigh in Now get out and go for a nice walk. Whats your weather doing down there?
It's really hot here, about 98 degrees. And sunny. I'll probably go walking much later, when the sun is almost down.0 -
Oh wow, I would say that I wish it was that hot here but working in heat like that is brutal. For now I will stick to the -21.0
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Yep too hot, on summer vacations I prefer the 28-32 range. I have a place at the lake in The States and it got up to 37 this spring/summer and it was too hot unless we were out on the boat. 43 degrees is a bit excessive.0
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Yeah well, after living here for 22 years I'm pretty used to the heat. I live in the Northern Cape of South Africa, if I had to compare it to some place it would be nevada or arizona. Semi-desert land. 0
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On the flip side I was lucky enough to miss the coldest days over here. Coldest one I have and will see this year was -38.
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QueenofHearts023 wrote: »Yeah well, after living here for 22 years I'm pretty used to the heat. I live in the Northern Cape of South Africa, if I had to compare it to some place it would be nevada or arizona. Semi-desert land.
I'm heading to Arizona at the start of April for 10 days, lets hope its HOT!0 -
So today was pretty good. I feel a lot better than I did yesterday. No blood sugar issues. Although now I do have some cravings for sweets, but it's not so bad that I feel like I will lose control. Having lemonade helps.
This is the 6th day without sweets. Also, third day eating the way I should be for my digestive issues. Not surprisingly, it's been a lot better and I didn't have to take any medicine yet, but the diet is boring and unsatisfying.
I was quite shocked a while ago when 50extra commented that I worked out for 3 hours today! I seriously did not realize it was that much until I added up the minutes! Like, how am I NOT exhausted?? Hahaha sometimes I surprise myself.0 -
Wow you did great three hours is a lot. I live your posts. Keep up the good work0
