Chaagy's Motivation Journal

Chaagy

Thanks for this great idea. I've been searching for an outlet to start writing about my weight loss. For me, having a good mindset, being motivated, is the crucial element. I know what I need to do, that stuff is actually the easier part for me, but finding the motivation to keep doing it, is the key part. So I think, writing a journal regularly is great for me, because it keeps it top of mind. And reading other people's journals will also help me in my own journey.

I'm a little over 3 weeks in and doing well. I started my journey at 220lbs, and want to get down to a goal weight of between 165 and 170lbs. Once I get there, I'll re-evaluate, but that puts me into the high end of a normal BMI. It'll also be the first time in my adult life, I ever weighed so little.

I've done MFP before, about 2 years ago. I was 230lbs, and lost about 25lbs (down to 205lbs). But I stopped and went back up to 220lbs over the 2 years. I'm not sure why I stopped, but I was feeling good, people were saying great things about me, my type 2 diabetes was under control (I was normal), and then for some reason, I just lost motivation. I'm not sure if success got to my head, or what.

This time, I'm not going to stop. The first time, I was doing it on my own. This time, I'm looking for help. I've got MFP pals that I want to see do well, and I want to do well with them. I'm looking to write this journal so that I keep motivated. So when I think about not doing it, I'll look back at this journal, and know how I began the journey, and realize that I don't want to lose it again.

And I've come to the realization now, that I don't think I'll ever completely be able to stop. I'm not the kind of person who can eat what they want, and know when enough is enough. Even when I've hit my goal weight, I know that I will need to check-in regularly here. I know that I'll have to weigh myself regularly. And I know that I'll have to make sure that if I'm even 1lb over my goal weight, then it's back to the MFP routine for me.

Three weeks in, it's not that hard (1st week was a little hungry), but I'm actually finding I'm starting to adjust to the calories. I love making food, so I actually find seeking out recipes very interesting, finding different things to eat is fun for me. And having some restrictions, only makes it a more fun challenge.

I'll write more later, but looking forward to making this a regular journal.

Current weight: 209lbs (11lbs lost)
Best thing I made and ate all week: Prosciutto, fried egg, and toast (I love bacon and eggs, and this really hit the spot for under 200cals)
What am I gonna eat next week: I've got an idea for Chicken and Dumpling stew that I'm eager to try out.

genivar

Hey lbs buddy! I'm down 11 too! Took me a lot longer than 3 weeks though
Well done, you're of to a good start!

Chaagy

Thanks Genivar! Welcome to my journal.

So last night, as I was driving home from work, I felt something... a stirring... a yearning... a fire... a desire...

McDonald's DRIVE THRU!!!

And I wanted to do something, that in truth, I used to do often, more often than I care to admit before I started MFP in January. I wanted to get a McDouble Value Menu item. It's like less than $2.00. A perfect little burger to accompany your drive home. He sits there on the seat beside you, all warm and happy. He smells good. Some days, I would also buy his friend, McChicken Jr. to accompany him. And the three of us would drive home, laughing, smiling, high-fiving, sharing good times... until I ate them.

I felt that yearning again, yesterday. And I drive by about 3 McDonald's on my way home... so there's plenty of opportunity.

I kept my hand steady on the steering wheel, despite feeling a supernatural force guiding my hand to turn into that McD's drive way. Over and over again, the force would assail me, lashing me with nostalgic memories of dried up beef patties (is that beef?), plushy bun, pickles, rehydrated onions, ketchup... PROCESSED CHEEEEEEESE.

But in the end, I got home. I didn't do it. No McDouble. I ate a great little dinner. Had a healthy snack/dessert. And banished those ghostly forces by burning their bones (Supernatural... Anyone? Anyone?)

It's really not been a hard first 3 weeks for me, but yesterday, I was feeling it quite hard. The cravings. It was a first test. If I break once, and rationalize it - I will tell myself, that one McDouble won't change anything in the long run - and then it's a slippery slope. I eat so well right now, that having 1 McDouble a week, probably would be perfectly fine. But that 1 turns to 2, and then frequently, and then McChicken Jr. joins the party. And it's game over.

The point is, not that I can't have a McDouble, but that I'm gonna have it on my own terms. I need to control my craving and my whims, and not having those empty, unsatisfying calories that I don't need. If I'm going to have a cheeseburger, I am going to let it be an earth shatteringly delicious affair and one that makes the very forces of nature tremble at it's might.

Have a good one people!

CHALLENGE TO YOU: If you feel yourself craving something that you know will set you back this week. Don't do it. Push it aside. Do something good. Just don't do it. Challenge issued.

tcunbeliever

And banished those ghostly forces by burning their bones - epic!!!

I totally wanted to stop at Hardees on Tuesday for a milkshake, kept on driving, definitely a slippery slope!

genivar

Here! Here! Well told!
I reeeeeally like Jr chicken... He's a spicy little number.
I used to make a deal with myself, on my way home if I'm overtaken with the overwhelming urge to have salty fries or a Jr chicken the deal is, I will have it after i eat supper, or after I eat lunch as the case may be. I used to work across the road from McDonald's and if I got the drools for something evil I would allow it after I ate my soup and veggies. My brain accepted this and allowed me to be OK. By the time I finished my soup, I had no desire for mcd's.
I still do it occasionally if I drive by the DQ char smells or pizza place. I'll go home, eat my chicken and salad or tuna or whatever and if I still want it I have permission to drive back to town and have whatever the craving called for. I haven't yet.

totaldetermination

Fast food is my weakness - and they are everywhere. I do enjoy it in moderation, and when it fits my calories.

But there is nothing 'in moderation' about my cravings. I see the cravings as a challenge to be fought, and each time I win against them (which is most of the time), I feel proud of my achievement. I drive past a McDonalds every single day, and it still feels like a victory each time I don't stop.

You had 3 victories in one drive home. You're a champ !

Chaagy

Ahhh... total determination... you are makin' me blush. I agree - those cravings need to be beaten. It's easier when I got an army of MFP pals like all y'all!

PrimalJillian

That's a pretty epic (and spot on) description of wrestling with fast food cravings. Good job not giving in!

50extra

Chaagy, great job on the McDs. Its kind of sad, but I am not afraid to admit it, McDs literally is my favorite thing to eat. It tastes so good. I have one about a 30 second drive from my house so there will definitely be times where I am going to be tempted once i get back home. I can only hope I have the will power that you just showed. My chosen poison is a "Supersized" (yes I order it like that just because) McChicken meal, add cheese, and a double cheese burger, and fries and a diet coke - i can't stand regular coke.

If you want someone else with you to go through this journey add me as a friend. When I left home around 20 days ago I was 242, phase 1 is get to 230 - hoping to get be here in two weeks at my first weigh in. Phase 2 is to get down to 199. That's my long term goal, no time limit yet and then phase 3 will be decided after i get under 200.

Since we both have a similar amount to lose, it might be fun to cheer each other on.

LottieStanley

You are all doing great with the cravings. I live near a whole row of fast food which is right by the grocery store. I love milkshakes and Steak N Shake calls out to me also Wendy's fries. So far this month I've managed to bypass them too. I love this concept of keeping journals and I'm getting encouraged just reading all of your journeys.

Chaagy

So one thing that I've noticed, is that the first few weeks of going on an MFP plan is hard. Some people tell you, that if you do it right, you should never be hungry. And it's kind of true, but it's also kind of a lie. I've come to realize, I have to measure hunger on a new scale. My scale is this from most hungry to least hungry.

- Starving
- Hungry
- Not exactly hungry
- Satisfied
- Full
- Stuffed - like time to get out the sweatpants stuffed!!

In the past, I think I ate to the Full and Stuffed level on a regular basis. Probably every day, I ate until I was at least FULL. Nowadays, I usually don't hit the FULL level very often - I'm usually SATISFIED , and sometimes I'm NOT EXACTLY HUNGRY (which still makes me feel kind of hungry).

The first few weeks, you have to get used to the feeling of only being SATISFIED. And that can feel very different, very weird to someone who is used to feeling FULL. It can feel like you are still hungry, and it can make you feel frustrated. Feeling FULL feels comforting, and all of a sudden you don't feel comforted. It's like someone tore off your warm blanky, and won't give it back.

The good news is, I have adjusted to the new feeling of feeling SATISFIED. And it doesn't bother me nearly as much. I don't need to feel the comfort of a FULL belly, and instead, I take comfort in the light feeling I have before I go to bed at night.

Now, if I can only get over my cold hands. Anyone else notice it, my hands are always cold nowadays.

Current Weight: 206.8
Best thing I made all week: Game Day Cornbread Muffins and Veggie Chili. I tried out coconut flour in the muffins which is supposed to have way more fiber than regular flours. Plus you use about 1/3 less coconut flour than you use regular flour. Very delish!

totaldetermination

That's a very accurate description that I can really relate to. I felt deprived because I felt like I was stopping my meal before it was finished. I wanted to feel full, and was consistently unsatisfied by not feeling full. I wanted my blankie !!!

I found that I prefer to 'spend' my calories on 3 meals and no (or limited) snacks. That way, at the end of the meal I get to experience something closer to 'full'. That's more important to me than the benefits of snacking. I also started to eat a lot of vegetables in my meals to help me achieve the sensation of fullness with fewer calories.

I'm not sure where my wish to feel 'full' is coming from - whether it's physical or emotional. But I do believe that our will power is limited, so I try to avoid 'spending' it whenever I can. For me, not feeling full caused me to want to eat more, and made the process more of a constant battle. Maybe one day I'll try to understand where this 'need' is coming from, as I'm sure there is more to it than just food.

Congrats on the pounds lost, and also for finding a way that is working for you.

trailgirl777

Hey all, looking for motivation for the journey but it's coming from within better than the first time when I started & stopped from lack of motivation. I don't feel the cravings for fast food ever since the day I watched the show "supersize me" & watched the extras too!

You are totally right about the "full" is a comfort thing - so I had to learn how to get that comfort from something healthier & fitting my goals! Day by day - we learn, we adapt & move on with others on the same road teaching us about a pothole to watch for!