Married to an underweight man...

karran12

Hey ladies,

I've been married for almost 4 years, and it's frustrating to weigh 65 lbs more than my husband. My main goal is only 50 lbs! He eats everything I eat (and then some), but his metabolism is just crazy fast. He doesn't really need to workout either (he does try sometimes, because it's good for his heart).

Anyone else here dealing with this frustration? Also, do y'all have some good ideas for recipes that would fill him up, but still meet my needs? We're on a budget, so it's not the best idea for him to just eat two-three servings of whatever I make.

Another big frustration...he does NOT understand how I can eat way less than him and still weigh as much as I do. Have y'all found any helpful resources to inform family of what PCOS does to the body, and what needs to change in our family's diet in order to make weightless possible?

Thanks in advance!

KnitOrMiss

I don't have specific suggestions, but when I got married at 19 (my now ex was 20), he weighed 114 pounds, and I weighed 140. He was 5'7" or so, and I am just a twitch under 5'4". Fast forward, his metabolism hit a major road block at some point, and he got up to like 265-280 or something... So if your hubby is eating badly, even though his metabolism can handle it NOW, he needs to make sure he's focused on being healthy or it can come back to kill him later....literally.

If you get away from carbs and work on a low carb high fat diet, your hubby could just include more fats to his portions that yours. As long as he eats slowly, it will fill him up more. In general, it is considered to be among the best diets for PCOS folks.

I'm hoping he has standard tests done regularly to measure his health markers. This can show what he needs to do to gain weight as well as metabolism indicators, and any damages being done to his body, despite weight gain not being one.

Remember, too, that by default, the male metabolism is different than a woman's. A woman generally needs 2000 calories a day to function at maintenance (on average, based on a scientific study), whereas the average man needs 2500-2800 for the same.

I think the best thing would be to get a good look at his health picture before developing educational strategies, though it does help to point on similarities to your health conditions on his side of the family, that he's more familiar with. After that, it gets all sciency...

KnitOrMiss

Oh, and WHAT you eat matters a lot more than how much you eat for someone with PCOS with or without insulin resistance.

Fhoover

My husband weights probably 75lbs less then me.. We both work out but I do it so much more then he does.. I go everyday on my lunch break.. He too can eat anything and gains like a pound.. I eat something and it adds 5lbs that night lol..

KnitOrMiss

Fhoover wrote: »

My husband weights probably 75lbs less then me.. We both work out but I do it so much more then he does.. I go everyday on my lunch break.. He too can eat anything and gains like a pound.. I eat something and it adds 5lbs that night lol..

My fiance is overweight slightly, but he's been in the same 20 pound range without needing to change sizes (except maybe to drop one) in 4 years. Me, I've dropped well over 50 pounds but gone up and down through sizes. I eat a low carb/ketogenic diet. He eats what i make and adds a carby side or bread to each meal, etc. It works well for us so far. Before low carb, I chronically felt deprived, always hungry, always craving. Eating low carb helps so much - the always starving feelings are gone, I actually forget something what hunger feels like, and there is a low carb version of literally everything out there - or something that hits the flavor profile close enough to satisfy the craving...

AlyssaDarby13

I have two husbands (one legal, not not), and one is underweight, the other is the high side of normal, while I sit here being morbidly obese. I'm also having trouble, being on a budget and trying to not only eat healthy, but make sure my men get enough to eat to not only satisfy their hunger, but to make sure the underweight one is eating enough. He has a bad habit of only eating one meal a day, because of his sleep schedule. *sigh*

Sorry...Didn't really help much. Just commiserating, I guess.

Twinkleeeeeeeee80

Hi there, I have had two husbands and both were skinny compared to me. My current husband isn't as tall and he watches what he eats. He is supportive, but can be a little judgy sometimes, but he just wants me to be healthy. My first husband was a real *kitten* and was tall and could eat whatever he wanted and have a perfect body. I learned that if they don't support you, they are being jerks and they need to change their behavior. Marriage is in sickness and in health and weight is a part of that. I feel very lucky that my current husband loves me no matter what. Anyway, I have found that I just cook what I need to be healthy and he will eat extra or not as much if he would like. He is very happy when I cook healthy as he wants to be healthy too. So that is a really good point from KnitorMiss above. Just because he is skinny doesn't mean he won't gain weight later in life or that he is healthy. He needs to be eating healthy food as well and if he is flaunting his metabolism or being skinny....he's just being a jerk and just help him understand how much harder it can be for other people and women. It is very common, but he might need some more info or just to adjust his attitude.

Twinkleeeeeeeee80

some ideas for meals: red beans and rice. you can add canned tomatoes and green peppers and have a salad with yours. He can eat 3 bowls and be filled up. You can make this on a very tight budget buying red beans and brown rice in bulk at costco

Another one I've done recently is annies macaroni and cheese with tons of brocolli mixed in. He can eat more of the macaroni and you can eat more of the brocolli

Eggs- Eggs are very cheap and make a good dinner. You can make an egg cassarolle and put it in the refrigerator for breakfast all week. I make a cassarolle with reduced fat crescent rolls at the bottom, egg beaters, spinach, tomato and reduced fat shredded cheddar cheese. You can have a square or too and have for breakfast as it is good for protein and he can have at it

chicken salad- cans of chicken packed in water are very cheap. Mix with a big bunch of celery and low fat mayo, reduced sugar craisins and you can make a giant bowl that he can eat from all week and make sandwiches. You can have a smaller amount

bread- try sandwich thins or light whole wheat english muffins for you. He can eat full calorie wheat bread

spagetti bolognese- spagetti with ground turkey is a good cheap meal. You can buy sauce in bulk or even canned sauce and canned tomatoes and just add garlic powder and italian seasoning. He can have it over whole wheat noodles and you can steam some zuccini to pour it over, or you gan buy the Shiritaki noodles which are crazy low calorie! Then you feel like you are eating the same thing

Twinkleeeeeeeee80

one more thing- I buy chicken in bulk at costco then I will bake a whole package and have it in the fridge. I don't really eat a lot of meat, so I will have a bit, but my husband will eat it all week. Make some rice to keep in there too and he will get pretty filled up on chicken and rice. He can add bread and butter too.

You can just eat the rice and a bit of chicken or have the chicken on a salad

I also make a giant greek salad once a week with cucumber, tomato, spinach (it lasts longer than other lettuce in fridge) and white onion. Then take a container of hummus and whisk it together with water, lots of lemmon juice, oregano and optional red wine vinegar if you have some and salt and pepper. You can also add a can of chick peas. This is great for you to nibble on all week and the hummus dressing is amazing.

Let me know if you have any other recipes you like too! I have really been getting into cooking lately and my husband loves it. I think one of the keys is make extra in bulk and put it in the fridge for him. Then you don't have to cook and eat as much and he is covered.

Twinkleeeeeeeee80

wow two husbands! one is hard enough for me. haha ; ) good for you.

KnitOrMiss

weberaimee wrote: »

one more thing- I buy chicken in bulk at costco then I will bake a whole package and have it in the fridge. I don't really eat a lot of meat, so I will have a bit, but my husband will eat it all week. Make some rice to keep in there too and he will get pretty filled up on chicken and rice. He can add bread and butter too.

You can just eat the rice and a bit of chicken or have the chicken on a salad

I also make a giant greek salad once a week with cucumber, tomato, spinach (it lasts longer than other lettuce in fridge) and white onion. Then take a container of hummus and whisk it together with water, lots of lemmon juice, oregano and optional red wine vinegar if you have some and salt and pepper. You can also add a can of chick peas. This is great for you to nibble on all week and the hummus dressing is amazing.

Let me know if you have any other recipes you like too! I have really been getting into cooking lately and my husband loves it. I think one of the keys is make extra in bulk and put it in the fridge for him. Then you don't have to cook and eat as much and he is covered.

Taco Meat is another good thing to batch cook. He can load it up with whatever, and you can tailor it to fit your eating plan too. (yours does not match mine anywhere near at all, so I can't give specific recommendations.) Possible add-ins: shell, extra lettuce, rice, beans, cheese, sour cream, guacamole, salsa, diced avocado, diced tomato, diced bell peppers, etc. This can be done as tacos and lettuce tacos or taco salads, etc.

Meatballs are another thing we do in bulk.

And yes, you can use ground turkey instead of ground beef, just add in garlic powder while browning it, and it removes most of the "gaminess" taste that comes with the turkey. And making your own seasonings for just about anything, and dropping out the sugar, flour, cornstarches, etc. helps a lot, too.