HunterGrayMUA is making a change.
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huntergraymua
Posts: 11 Member
Hello! My name is Hunter. I'm a 24 year old stay at home mom. I am 5'2" and currently weigh just under 170 (down from 173 last week, woo!).
My weight has fluctuated wildly since... well, forever. I've struggled with anxiety and depression off and on (but mostly on) for the last twelve years or so. I am most definitely an emotional eater. When I am upset, stressed, sad, happy, you name it, I am eating. When the depression really kicks in and I feel nothing at all, I eat even more. Just to try to feel SOMETHING. When I decide enough is enough, in the past anyway, I go to extreme and unhealthy measures to lose the weight, and it always ends up coming back. That is not a healthy relationship with food, and I recognize that.
I have a two year old daughter. It breaks my heart to think of her growing up feeling the way about her body that I did. I've spent the last year or so really learning to love and appreciate myself and my body for all that it has done, and what it is capable of. And I feel like now that I am in a healthier frame of mind I'm ready to drop the weight in a safe and healthy way. Most importantly though, I'm going to try to change my relationship with food. For my own sake and for my daughter's. My goal isn't too lose a crazy amount of weight, or to fit a "size x" clothing, it is to change my lifestyle completely and to eat sensible portions of nutritious foods. For now, that's all I'll be focusing on, hopefully in the near future I'll be able to work exercise into it as well.
This is my third day on MFP and honestly, it's hard. I think about food all damn day long. But I've been successful so far in stopping myself from binge eating, and I plan to just take it one day at a time. I've gone grocery shopping and avoided buying any of the things I used to polish off in one sitting, and I've meal prepped for this coming week. The food diary here is really helpful, being able to know exactly what I'm taking in has honestly been kind of a shock. I would hate to see what my daily caloric intake might have looked like a month or two ago!
Right now my "goal weight" is 130. I've weighed much less than that at certain points in my life, but I'm not going to kill myself trying to be the girl I looked like in high school. If I continue losing weight after I reach that goal, wonderful. If not, I'm OK with that. Remember, my goal is to change my relationship with food.
I've got a couple of things working against me, besides my own brain lol. One is that I'm still breastfeeding my daughter. Which is awesome in the sense that it helps to burn extra calories, but it also makes me HUNGRY. And I've noticed my milk supply absolutely tanking if my calories fall below 1400/day or so. I'm trying to stick to my daily goal as closely as possible to maintain my supply, and I'm also upping my water intake like crazy. I'm still drinking my morning coffee or two, but I've cut out all sodas for now and I'm just focusing on water. Water water water. Another thing is that I've recently started taking BC pills, which have ALWAYS made me gain weight in the past. I'm hoping that with this new game plan here that won't be an issue, but we shall see.
I'll try to update this once a week, if not more often. Feel free to add me, I can use all the encouragement and accountability I can get.
My weight has fluctuated wildly since... well, forever. I've struggled with anxiety and depression off and on (but mostly on) for the last twelve years or so. I am most definitely an emotional eater. When I am upset, stressed, sad, happy, you name it, I am eating. When the depression really kicks in and I feel nothing at all, I eat even more. Just to try to feel SOMETHING. When I decide enough is enough, in the past anyway, I go to extreme and unhealthy measures to lose the weight, and it always ends up coming back. That is not a healthy relationship with food, and I recognize that.
I have a two year old daughter. It breaks my heart to think of her growing up feeling the way about her body that I did. I've spent the last year or so really learning to love and appreciate myself and my body for all that it has done, and what it is capable of. And I feel like now that I am in a healthier frame of mind I'm ready to drop the weight in a safe and healthy way. Most importantly though, I'm going to try to change my relationship with food. For my own sake and for my daughter's. My goal isn't too lose a crazy amount of weight, or to fit a "size x" clothing, it is to change my lifestyle completely and to eat sensible portions of nutritious foods. For now, that's all I'll be focusing on, hopefully in the near future I'll be able to work exercise into it as well.
This is my third day on MFP and honestly, it's hard. I think about food all damn day long. But I've been successful so far in stopping myself from binge eating, and I plan to just take it one day at a time. I've gone grocery shopping and avoided buying any of the things I used to polish off in one sitting, and I've meal prepped for this coming week. The food diary here is really helpful, being able to know exactly what I'm taking in has honestly been kind of a shock. I would hate to see what my daily caloric intake might have looked like a month or two ago!
Right now my "goal weight" is 130. I've weighed much less than that at certain points in my life, but I'm not going to kill myself trying to be the girl I looked like in high school. If I continue losing weight after I reach that goal, wonderful. If not, I'm OK with that. Remember, my goal is to change my relationship with food.
I've got a couple of things working against me, besides my own brain lol. One is that I'm still breastfeeding my daughter. Which is awesome in the sense that it helps to burn extra calories, but it also makes me HUNGRY. And I've noticed my milk supply absolutely tanking if my calories fall below 1400/day or so. I'm trying to stick to my daily goal as closely as possible to maintain my supply, and I'm also upping my water intake like crazy. I'm still drinking my morning coffee or two, but I've cut out all sodas for now and I'm just focusing on water. Water water water. Another thing is that I've recently started taking BC pills, which have ALWAYS made me gain weight in the past. I'm hoping that with this new game plan here that won't be an issue, but we shall see.
I'll try to update this once a week, if not more often. Feel free to add me, I can use all the encouragement and accountability I can get.
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Replies
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Hunter, thanks for sharing your history on here and I wish you the best of luck in this journey. Working exercise into your daily routine will be easy and you don't need to wait to do it. Take your wee one out for a walk sometime, a nice 20-30 minute walk will help immensely. I don't know where in the world you live, but provided you have a couple nice winter days I believe that it will really help you. I know that when I take my daughter for a walk it always improves my mood, and the fresh air tires her out and she sleeps like a champ!
You mentioned that you don't have any goals of sizing or crazy weight loss, but do you have any milestones that you are looking to hit? How fast do you want to lose those extra 40 pounds? Let us know some more about your plans for this journey or we will never be able to ride you when you start to slip
I'm looking forward to your weekly updates.0
