Time for a rethink

maoribadger

So i saw.my consultant psychiatrist yesterday. After five years of hell one way and another they have given me a diagnosis and said i am bipolar. So a lot to take on board and am struggling a little bit with it.

But id like to make life easier on myself and make my weight one less thing to worry about by starting up again. Im not going hard just making a few changes to start with while i get my head around whats been said. So my logging might be erratic or not look perfect but i will be trying.

wennim

As upsetting as the diagnosis may be at least you have a definitive answer now and it should help with treatment options. I am glad to see you back on the board. I miss seeing your posts about lifting heavy things . Little changes can still have big successes so starting small is a great idea especially with everything else you have on your plate. take care.

KnitOrMiss

Yes, bipolar has a dramatically different treatment arch than depression, no matter what type... It also explains why you struggled so much to get your medications right before...

There is no such thing as perfection. Make the better choice wherever you can. Best is not maintainable forever...

HUGS

P.S. If you need to talk, we're here.

carimiller7391

Lise, wrapping your head around the diagnoses will take some time trust me. I find the more open to people I am about being bipolar the more ?'s and understanding they are. Not mean ?'s, but what can I do to help ?'s.

I'm here for you whatever ?'s you have about it. I was diagnosed 14 years ago. Finding the right therapist and Dr. are the key. Also, PLEASE, whatever you do...... DON'T go off your meds.

KnitOrMiss

That book you recommended to me, Cari, "An Unquiet Mind" was awesome but totally overwhelming/unsettling at the same time...

@maoribadger Sending all my hugs, woman!!!

carimiller7391

Carly, "An Unquiet Mind" gives a glimpses as to what someone who is bipolar goes through. I'm sorry you found it unsettling. I enjoyed the way the author advocated for herself and didn't shy away from being brutally honesty about what she went thru. My mom read it and I don't think she believes or understands what I go through.

maoribadger

Sorry ive been absent. Will try and answer.

Wendy ive not been to gym since novber.but am hankering to go back so it may be im picking up heavy things again soon. Im also getting my puppy sunday so will be walking/running with him asap.

Carly. Ty. Yeah maybe they will get my meds right now though my brains gone a little into over drive worrying what of they got it wrong and about how i wanted to come off my meds next year and now it looks like im stuck on them as far as my ubderstanding goes. Will look into book but atm i work a lot of hours since being promoted and have a loy of extra responsibility to take on. However to try and make time for me and do something that might helpnfor once i quit the psychologist and started art therapy

Carrie. Ty friend i may come to you with questioms if ok. Seems i tend more to depression with only a few episodes they can aytribute as elation/mania. Im not sure if this is good or bad. They also havent given me a long term plan so i need to have that discussion with them next time. Re meds am i now on them for life? This bothers me the most

KnitOrMiss

carimiller7391 wrote: »

Carly, "An Unquiet Mind" gives a glimpses as to what someone who is bipolar goes through. I'm sorry you found it unsettling. I enjoyed the way the author advocated for herself and didn't shy away from being brutally honesty about what she went thru. My mom read it and I don't think she believes or understands what I go through.

I found it unsettling, because there were just enough of "hitting the highlights" of my own issues...not because of her struggles specifically. You know how we fight against ourselves to acknowledge the truth? That kind of ... discomfort...

And I personally think that your Mom has blinders on about her own issues, and if the milder stuff "can't possibly exist for her" it sure as heck can't for you, right? UGH. Denial... Okay, I'm going to stop before I get started!!!

KnitOrMiss

maoribadger wrote: »

Sorry ive been absent. Will try and answer.

Wendy ive not been to gym since novber.but am hankering to go back so it may be im picking up heavy things again soon. Im also getting my puppy sunday so will be walking/running with him asap.

Carly. Ty. Yeah maybe they will get my meds right now though my brains gone a little into over drive worrying what of they got it wrong and about how i wanted to come off my meds next year and now it looks like im stuck on them as far as my ubderstanding goes. Will look into book but atm i work a lot of hours since being promoted and have a loy of extra responsibility to take on. However to try and make time for me and do something that might helpnfor once i quit the psychologist and started art therapy

Carrie. Ty friend i may come to you with questioms if ok. Seems i tend more to depression with only a few episodes they can aytribute as elation/mania. Im not sure if this is good or bad. They also havent given me a long term plan so i need to have that discussion with them next time. Re meds am i now on them for life? This bothers me the most

Lise, for me, things are less "full blown manic" and more "intermittent, sometimes cyclic, mild hypomania," if that context helps at all. EDITED TO ADD: One thing I read and noticed was that about Bipolar 1 (mania) and 2 (anxiety) - if you have EVER IN YOUR LIFE HAD EVEN A MILD EPISODE, that confirms the chemical issue that causes bipolar - even if you never have even the smallest whisper of it again. Because once that switch SHOWS US that it is there, your brain chemistry has to be addressed differently.

And yes, if you truly are bipolar, you will never be able to safely come off of medications, because bipolar often takes over us mentally before we have the mental chance to notice something's wrong. It tends to go really wrong before we notice, and once we notice, we're typically too deep to be able to do or care to do anything about it... And once they get you on the RIGHT medications, you will be able to titer down the doses to the lowest effective dose, allowing for the best treatment, and still the best levels of unmedicated you. That was honestly my full on favorite part of that book...

Plus, even super-mild mania gets, well, honestly, addictive. Most bipolars who experience any form of it are extremely reluctant to give up any part of their "special mental energies," for lack of a more coherent description at the moment...

The few lucky ones have a moderate "level" between the ups and downs, some people are more up, some are more down, some are chaotic, in short - it does not look the exact same for any two people ever - and may change as your weight and physical health change, too - and so may not ever look exactly the same for you, either.

All I can say is that acceptance is a fight I'm embroiled in as well. So never stop working to find your best you. Having to add the chemicals to your brain that it is missing by biology is no different that someone with autoimmune type 1 diabetes whose body won't make insulin....you're adding what nature/genetics didn't give you for optimum functioning...

HUGS

carimiller7391

Lise, come to me darling with any bipolar questions you have. Yes, most likely you are on meds for the rest of your life. It bothered me at first also, but now.... I know if I miss them, I m so much worse off.