a page from my journal.....

carimiller7391

I'm tired !!! I'm tired of being tired, having no energy, being in massive amounts of pain. Tired of looking and feeling like a beached whale. I'm tired of people looking down on me like I am less of a person due to my weight. People thinking it's ok to be mean or rude. IT'S NOT OK!!! I am a person and have feelings also. Comments bother me just like anyone else. Some people believe it is OK to treat me as a sub-human... well that stops today. I'm tired of being the largest person in the room. I'm tired of being starred at or worse..ignored. I'm very tired of the giggles, the laughs, the pointing and I'm past tired of the snide remarks of some. Most of all, I'm past tired of everyone else thinking or believing they know what's best for me. Well guess what???? YOU DON'T. I'm the only one who knows what's best for me.

Finally, I'm tired of being a by-stander in my own life. I'm 43 years old and the last 23 years have been wasted siting on the sidelines. Well NO MORE. I'm going to start living each day like it is my last. Tomorrow is not promised.

KnitOrMiss

(hugs)

I hear you on the tired of being tired, stuff, and in pain, and all of it. I guess I'm lucky enough not to notice the giggles/laughs/jerks, or something...much...

I'm sorry that you're struggling so much, but I'm glad to see you empowering yourself as you go on...

I've no idea why people think it is okay to be mean or rude to others, regardless of the reason. Maybe it's a "thank God I don't have that problem/brought on myself," kind of reaction...regardless, unacceptable, and I call others out in public about that kind of crap.

I too, am always the largest, etc. I don't know why - as it doesn't seem possible, really... But it is. Worse, for me, is the fact that I've already lost 65 or so. I guess I was just oblivious before??

Yeah, others knowing what's best for you? Other than a doctor ALREADY COLLABORATING WITH YOU, this is flat out ridiculous. You know and manage your multiple conditions better than any 3 people I know! Goodness.

And this. Being a bystander. I've always felt this way. I have a person in my life now who won't let me do that, as much anyway, but funds are always an issue in this. I spent way more funds than I could afford this weekend living my life (not for a specific reason, just that travel and food and such are expensive...), but this weekend was one of my best in recent memory. Far too tired today, but it is what it is.

(hugs) Next time you want to visit Oklahoma, you let me know, and we'll kick up our heels together! (hugs) I love the song, "Live like you were dying..." It brings this point home so much!