treatment
Options
truddy6647
Posts: 519 Member
Hello all,
So fertility is a huge issue/barrier for me and my husband. Not only do I have PCOS but also we deal with male factor infertility too. Thus making any option having to involve some form of fertility treatment. These treatments are not cheap and not covered by my insurance. I am so tried of hearing people stated "if you can't afford the treatment, who do you expect to pay for the child" what they don't realize is that having a child does not give you an up front cost (other than medical, to which we have coverage for that) in the thousands of dollars, the price to raise a child is over years. Than there are those who say why don't you adopt. Even adoption can be hard and even harder when you are over a certain age to get a baby. While I am only 34 my husband is 47 and most agency won't even touch his age for a baby private adoption and most mother's over look older parents.We understand that there is also foster care, to which we have looked into, however, it would be heart breaking to have a child for a year or two only to have to give it back which is what the purpose of foster care is (reunification with family)
This week we went to a fertility specialist. We were told that IUI would cost 770.oo per cycle (not including medication) with a 5% chance of getting preg. and IVF at the min 8300 (again not including cost of medication) with a 65% chance of getting preg. while the IUI is affordable for us (without a loan) the IVF not so much. I have Champva and does not cover ART regardless of where you live (if it was based on where you lived we would move for sure).
Some do fundraisers to raise the money asking friends and family. Most of our family can't afford to help. Furthermore, we don't feel right asking family, partly because my husband would feel bad due to his fertility issues.
Does anyone have any suggestions? What would you do?
So fertility is a huge issue/barrier for me and my husband. Not only do I have PCOS but also we deal with male factor infertility too. Thus making any option having to involve some form of fertility treatment. These treatments are not cheap and not covered by my insurance. I am so tried of hearing people stated "if you can't afford the treatment, who do you expect to pay for the child" what they don't realize is that having a child does not give you an up front cost (other than medical, to which we have coverage for that) in the thousands of dollars, the price to raise a child is over years. Than there are those who say why don't you adopt. Even adoption can be hard and even harder when you are over a certain age to get a baby. While I am only 34 my husband is 47 and most agency won't even touch his age for a baby private adoption and most mother's over look older parents.We understand that there is also foster care, to which we have looked into, however, it would be heart breaking to have a child for a year or two only to have to give it back which is what the purpose of foster care is (reunification with family)
This week we went to a fertility specialist. We were told that IUI would cost 770.oo per cycle (not including medication) with a 5% chance of getting preg. and IVF at the min 8300 (again not including cost of medication) with a 65% chance of getting preg. while the IUI is affordable for us (without a loan) the IVF not so much. I have Champva and does not cover ART regardless of where you live (if it was based on where you lived we would move for sure).
Some do fundraisers to raise the money asking friends and family. Most of our family can't afford to help. Furthermore, we don't feel right asking family, partly because my husband would feel bad due to his fertility issues.
Does anyone have any suggestions? What would you do?
0
Replies
-
First wow congrats on the weight you've lost. Next I wanted to mention that I used to be an adoption worker and in Pennsylvania we do adoptions of children whose biological parents have either given up their parental rights or have had them terminated. So these are considered to be non legal risk because they cannot go back to bio parents. I don't know much about other states but I would imagine they do something similar. You can look up adoptpakids or statewide adoption network to learn more if you're interested.0
-
Actually I have looked into it, and have learned that generally when it comes to babies, the foster parents usually adopt them. There are a lot of hoops for us to jump through for adoption in our state and county0
-
You're correct. They are generally older. Or if the rights are terminated when they're younger they'll go with the original foster family.0
-
Start at the beginning they have fertility meds for men to take. You can both be on them, they aren't too bad, I think Clomid was 30 bucks for me and femera was free because it's a cancer drug and my insurance covers it. Maybe that might work, and go from there. People are stupid, they don't realize, most couples don't incur and expanse for a child until they are born. They get knocked up, but for people like us we can fork out thousands of dollars before the birth process even happens. I know of 2 people that have spend over 50K to have a baby, it's up to you what you are willing to spend, don't let anyone else make that decision. And if you need help, maybe for xmas and birthdays tell family, you would like cash to put into savings for it, or quit buying all together and just save the money that you would of spent on presents for that, I am sure they would understand, and would enjoy a little baby, vs a coffee mug that they have 10 of lol. When it comes to fertility in my experience people are idiots, my issue is I get the "you already have one be happy with it" Well buddy, it doesn't make it hurt much less that I want another, especially when everyone under the sun around me is pregnant, and most of my MFP that have struggled for a while, finally got their chance. Good Luck! And Congrats on the weight loss! That is an amazing journey in itself!0
