How YOU doin??!!!

dumb_blondes_rock

Ok Wendy Williams was on today, so I had to use the tag line haha. Yesterday I did REALLY good, but today I hit a LITTLE rough patch. I had to come out to my dads house which is 45 mins where I live because I have to basically be hospice nurse to our 8 yr old aussie mix. She has been sick for over a week now, we have taken her to the vet 2 times and tomorrow is supposed to be her checkup, but it might be the day we have to put her down. She has major sciatica, is on pain pills and steroids, doesn't want to eat and is in true misery. We will see if the vet can provide any other alternative, but to keep her alive if its going to be like this would be the cruelest thing.
I am a food addict and a comfort eater, so I am trying really hard to stick to my challenge during this time. I guess if it was easy we would be calling it a 12 week walk through the park, right?

My rough patch was a half cappuccino/half coffee I got from the gas station for the drive over and I got a bean and cheese burrito from taco bell to see if my dog would eat SOMETHING, which she ate just a very little few bites of it. I know people food is not good for dogs, but she won't eat ANYTHING, so I am desperate. I will be good with my calories, just the choices I have made so far haven't been the most nurtient dense. I brought a 100 cal pack oatmeal to eat here, and hopefully the stress of poor molly will make me not want to eat anything else. My dad is a glorified bachelor so if he ever has food, its left over pizza, so I usually bring my own. His fridge is basically storage for diet soda and condiments haha.

I have a bday party to go to tonight, so I'm going to go ahead and add 3 vodka soda waters in, just in case I need to drink some feelings away. I feel bad going to a party while my dog is on her death bed, but I need to get out and let loose. I have been caring for her for most of the week and its just depressing to see her like this, and my dad will be with her so it's not like she will be all alone.

I have had a terrible 9 months, tragedy after tragedy and I don't know why everything that has happened is happening, and my weight loss has slowed dramatically because I keep turning to sweets or other foods to perk me up because I'm pretty depressed, but when you eat like crap you feel like crap, so I'm trying to break the cycle. I live alone, so I can eat without "judgement" , but the guilt slowly creeps in after a while and then I feel even worse and its a viscous spiral I keep tip toeing towards

I'm so happy more than myself joined the challenge, because I def don't want to let anyone down, because I have been letting myself down all the time lately, but now I have an audience to watch and hold me accountable haha. I weighed myself at my dad's house, and it said i weigh 165, which is my new all-time low as an adult, so that's really the ONLY thing that has made me feel hopeful today.

Anyone else feel like doing a check in? I don't mind if you feel like you want to check in everyday on here or even through message with me. I log on to mfp daily, and you guys can feel free to message me privately if you just need to vent to someone about something. Weight loss is so much more than physical loss, its way more mental than we realize, and sometimes talking to a stranger about your problems can be more therapeutic than talking to our friends we interact with in person.

Hope all of you are kicking major tush and I am excited to see y'alls progress!!!

Lisaa00510

Aww so sorry about your pup and everything you've been through recently! Stay tough and try to find another outlet other than eating - maybe replace it with some exercise and get some endorphins flowing - easier said than done, right ? You can do it! I did my 10,000 steps yesterday, which was tough - but I pushed through and then also stayed under my calorie goal. So far so good - hoping to keep it up for the long haul

fussybritches2

So sorry to hear about your pup. I also own an Aussie mix. Everyday has its challenges, I'm hitting the ground running after 2 weeks of eating everything and not exercising. I agree with @Lisaa00510 walking during my lunch break is what keeps me out of the vending machine in the afternoon. We joined this challenge to support eachother and I intend to do
My part!

ladyhusker39

That's a tough one. Our pets are like children and it's terribly hard. My heart goes out to you. I'm not sure I'll remember to check in every day. Where should I post that? Will there be a new daily check in thread or should I start my own each time? I'll also open my diary to friends.

Lisaa00510

Here's my daily check in! Was under calories yesterday and did my 10,000 steps - woohoo. I have been walking up and down the stairs rather using the elevator to try to get some movement in during the day.. which has really proven how out of shape I am.. haha - it's not easy, especially being on the 9th floor. I have also made it a point to go use the bathroom downstairs at least 1-2x a day so that way I get the extra stair climbing in that way as well.. I need to get those steps somehow. Hope everyone else is doing well!

lissa11263

Just checking in.

So sorry to hear about your Aussie. I have an Aussie mix too! He's 11 now and a little on the chubby side, despite the fact he only gets two cups of food a day. I think I will need to talk to the vet soon about some Rimadyl for him - he looks pretty sore some days. We have been giving him glucosamine for a while now but I suppose that can only do so much. I'll keep you and your fur baby in my thoughts.

It sounds like everyone is doing very well! As for me I have been keeping under my calorie goals and trying to get a walk in at lunch time everyday. I have been walking with a co worker but I couldn't find her today so I walked by myself. I'm out in the community a lot so I walk to and from my car frequently and that adds up. I'm not up to 10000 steps but I'll get there. I ordered some new tennis shoes that I'm hoping will help relieve the awful foot pain I have - they should be here tomorrow. You remember those "shape up" or rocking shoes? They recommend those for foot pain so I have my fingers crossed. I weighed in after a week and was down 2.4 lbs. but when I weighed the following day it didn't show that loss so ???? I still plan to try to get my measurements and my weight bench and free weights organized so I can start a resistance routine this weekend.

Keep up the good work all!

dumb_blondes_rock

I'll confess I've kind of fallen off track. I've laid on my floor/in my bed and basically have been balling like a baby for 2 days. I had to put my dog down on wednesday and i just feel like my whole world is turned upside down. I've had a rough 9 months, and molly was my only guaranteed happiness. I used to drive out to my dads house often just to hang out with her and take her for a walk so i could be with her. She was my best friend, and my best free therapy haha.

We are getting her cremated and will spread her ashes at the beach where she LOVED to go. Of course I'm keeping some ashes, and we have some of her fur that we kept too(the vet tech asked if I wanted some and I thought it was a cute little memorabilia thing for her since everyone commented on how beautiful her fur was.

I'm getting out of bed and will water my outside plants and have some coffee and hopefully getting out of bed will perk me up and be the motivation I need to go to the gym. I haven't been since Monday, so I'm not only depressed because of my dog, but I've used the gym as my therapy for so long that I notice if I go 3 days without it I start to feel a little gloomy. So I think I shall add that to my challenge: never go more than 2 days in a row without some sort of physical activity/gym...I dont want the loss of my dog to derail all my hard work. I am 6 lbs away from making my very first "ultimate goal" and to make my bday goal. I might have gained 5 lbs of water weight and crap, so I won't truly judge my weight until Tuesday, then I'll see where I'm at. I was at 165...so we shall see the damage I've done haha.

How is everyone doing???

Lisaa00510

Awww so sorry to hear about having to put the pup down Cheer up buttercup, don't let that throw you off track - work your sadness off!

fussybritches2

Really sorry to hear about your fur baby.

SheilaCali

Glad you were able to share about your sweet Molly. Sorry for your loss, and it brings back feelings about our late dog as well. You have to find your "why", your reason for wanting to lose weight. For some it's a who, or a health condition they want to get over (or avoid). Unfortunately, stress makes you keep weight on (or gain). Do the best you can right now.

Some of it's a self-love thing too. You're worth all of those good (but hard) choices. All of the good choices add up, just as a lot of bad ones do. Make some better choices, and you should see/feel results. It may not be weight loss right away, but just feeling a little more "in control" of something is empowering. I felt awesome after logging my food for a week- a small victory, but it kept me on track. I've now logged for 140 days in a row, and it's kept me in line most days.

I'm making better choices consistently now. You really have to start one day at a time. Set some small goals and reach them. Baby steps at first, then soon you'll be running! Sorry I sound like such a mom right now, but I'm preaching to myself too. We all need to look inward, then set our sights for the finish line (even if it's really far away). Good luck everyone