POF ... someone please explain
raige123
Posts: 352
Went on a first "meet" with a guy last night from POF I have talked to a few weeks. Was very hesitant to meet this guy because I am looking for long term and his profile said he's not looking for anything serious. Not having much luck, I adopted a rule this week that whoever asks me for coffee, that I will go and meet them, even if there is no interest on my part because people can be much different in person.
Coffee went great ... almost 3 hours just talking ... dropped him home at 11:30pm and we were texting and on the phone with each other until 5am this morning. All good signs right?!
POF has always provided me with dates with guys who are not single but who say they are so I decided to go over to Facebook and check him out and turns out he is in a relationship. He told me he has been single for 8 months. What is the point of doing this for a guy? Especially when he knows ... because I have told him repeatedly ... that he would not be getting in my pants as I don't sleep with people I'm not with. Why waste his time talking to me until 5am when both of us had to get up at 7am for work? Why waste both our time? We had made plans to go see a movie tonight ... an actual date ... but now I don't know if I should go and then question him about not being single, because if I do it by txt I know I will never get an answer back. What should I do? Obviously not see him again, but how should I confront him about this? And why do guys do this? Why invest the time?
Coffee went great ... almost 3 hours just talking ... dropped him home at 11:30pm and we were texting and on the phone with each other until 5am this morning. All good signs right?!
POF has always provided me with dates with guys who are not single but who say they are so I decided to go over to Facebook and check him out and turns out he is in a relationship. He told me he has been single for 8 months. What is the point of doing this for a guy? Especially when he knows ... because I have told him repeatedly ... that he would not be getting in my pants as I don't sleep with people I'm not with. Why waste his time talking to me until 5am when both of us had to get up at 7am for work? Why waste both our time? We had made plans to go see a movie tonight ... an actual date ... but now I don't know if I should go and then question him about not being single, because if I do it by txt I know I will never get an answer back. What should I do? Obviously not see him again, but how should I confront him about this? And why do guys do this? Why invest the time?
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For some guys, it's a game.
Personally, I didn't care for my experience with POF, but I didn't last long there. I would suggest, however, that if you are going to use POF, don't talk to anyone that isn't looking for long-term. Most everyone is just looking to hook up on POF.0 -
Not saying this is the case... but I have no idea what my Facebook says for a relationship status. "Maybe" he forgot to change it, or just doesn't care. However odds are that he's a player or whatever the kids call it these days.0
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For some guys, it's a game.
Personally, I didn't care for my experience with POF, but I didn't last long there. I would suggest, however, that if you are going to use POF, don't talk to anyone that isn't looking for long-term. Most everyone is just looking to hook up on POF.
I agree for some it is a game--some girls and some guys. My relationship is exactly the opposite of the above poster--I have had 3 serious relationships from POF-obviously they did not last, but they were all serious while they lasted. I don't agree that POF is just a hook up site.......but maybe location makes a difference..........
Back to OP......some do forget to change status......and some say in a relationship on facebook just to deter facebook stalkers......chances are he is a player, but just ask, and see if you get an answer--but will you really believe what he says?0 -
For some guys, it's a game.
Personally, I didn't care for my experience with POF, but I didn't last long there. I would suggest, however, that if you are going to use POF, don't talk to anyone that isn't looking for long-term. Most everyone is just looking to hook up on POF.
I agree for some it is a game--some girls and some guys. My relationship is exactly the opposite of the above poster--I have had 3 serious relationships from POF-obviously they did not last, but they were all serious while they lasted. I don't agree that POF is just a hook up site.......but maybe location makes a difference..........
Back to OP......some do forget to change status......and some say in a relationship on facebook just to deter facebook stalkers......chances are he is a player, but just ask, and see if you get an answer--but will you really believe what he says?
Well like I said... I didn't last long on POF so I really can't say I gave it a fair chance.0 -
If he is in a relationship then yes, he wants in your pants.
I've never tried PoF so no feedback here.0 -
POF has always provided me with dates with guys who are not single but who say they are so I decided to go over to Facebook and check him out and turns out he is in a relationship. He told me he has been single for 8 months. What is the point of doing this for a guy? Why invest the time?
Ask him directly. See what his response is. Maybe his GF on Facebook could chime in.0 -
A smart person keeps as many options as they can.0
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I would just ask him. Sometimes online information is totally out of date!
And if you dont believe him, then, dont date him anymore.
These things come out in the wash eventually anyhow, so he's pretty foolish if you ask me. Now you have your guard up he will have to be a pretty good liar!0 -
A smart person keeps as many options as they can.
WTF?? Are you condoning extra marital affairs Florian, or are you just being provocative?? lol0 -
I've been on POF and on other websites of that kind, a lot of guys are in a relationship and will tell you they are single. I've seen that many times, sometimes, I can spot them right away, sometimes when meeting them (like nervous, I don't have their phone numbers, etc).
The last one that played that number on me (he was from that kind of website), we had seen each other a couple of times, he had told me all about his divorce and three jobs, we decided to play, had lots of fun and then, he insisted on taking a shower, then later that week suggested we could meet during the day if I would take the day off because evenings are difficult (because of his job, but seriously, who works 24 hours a day). I have no solid proof he's in a relationship, but lots of things pointing to it. I've cut contacts, I haven't seen him in 3 months and he has stopped texting me a month ago.0 -
Sorry this happened. I'm not sure why a guy would do that but I feel sorry for their SO! Don't worry about it, just move on. I dated a lot off of POF and I don't think that ever happened to me.
May I ask why you picked him up? Is that what I read?
I also wanted to say your new rule is great!0 -
Sorry to hear that you are having such a terrible time with POF.... However, I have a feeling there are a lot of people that are having the same issue.
Not sure why some men do that. sadly it makes it harder for the more genuine men on that site to be trusted. All I can suggest is keep your head up, you will find someone who will be perfect for you, be it on POF or not.0 -
Ask him about his status - if he has nothing to hide he will explain it.
I have a friend who changed her status on Facebook simply because she was fed up of the adverts for dating websites that popped up on the side! Facebook won't necessarily be the truth; a lot of people set their status as 'It's complicated' or 'In a relationship' simply because being single isn't anyone else's business and/or they don't want to advertise it online.0 -
He's looking for a replacement. Until he gets one, he can't eliminate the girl from his FB page .If this is the case, maybe he's genuinely interested in you and not just out to get in your pants. .Still. . you gotta be wary of people who look for a replacement while they are still in a relationship. . If he does it to her. . he'll probably do it to you too.
I'm assuming you aren't basing this just on his FB 'status' but on other evidence (pictures, messages, comments, etc). .0
