The Mugging You've All Been Waiting For
louisstone
Posts: 2,883 Member
The year was 2009 when your hero, Lou, was admitted to the ER with an apparent heart problem. Through the heroic efforts of the doctors on staff - in collaboration with Blue Cross - it was determined to be Graves Disease; a thyroid disorder that jacks up a person's metabolism in extraordinary ways (yay!) along with some unpleasant side effects.
Standard treatments using medication failed to bring the disease under control and the decision was made in 2010 to irradiate the thyroid by having Lou swallow something nuclear followed by a week of sleeping alone and being responsible for cleaning the bathroom.
Little did Lou know, that little nuclear pill, would give him a new super power - the ability to go for seemingly weeks on end without a meaningful bowel movement! Imagine how handy that turned out to be on international trips where - no matter how spicy the food - there was no danger of having to sit on a non-home toilet where he'd be forced to "touch butts" with scores of strangers!
Of course, the flip side of the coin involved general sluggishness and innocent people constantly subjected to random instances of cropdusting in their local Target stores. Weigh-ins were always problematic as Lou's colon literally was like a box of Cracker Jacks. He never knew what - if anything - he was going to get.
Of course, the Weight Watchers Message Boards seemed a perfect place for Lou to let his colorectal frustrations fly. The legend of Lou's lack of "productivity" spread to the farthest reaches of the Spiritual Space, Mobile Tips & Tricks and Beyond Beer & Burgers boards thanks to overzealous DEALS participants.
Two months ago - a breakthrough! A change in medication by his new endocrinologist has made Lou a whole new man! Or, perhaps, a goose - because now he finds himself chitting like one! The powerful medication, combined with his love of coffee have ushered in a brave new era where Lou strolls confidently into non-home bathrooms, cringes at their filthiness and squeezes his cheeks tight like any other man would do!
So, today, Lou is finally able to retire his old coffee mug (received in a Newbies mug exchange c. 2014) and introduce TWO new mugs to his rotation!
Standard treatments using medication failed to bring the disease under control and the decision was made in 2010 to irradiate the thyroid by having Lou swallow something nuclear followed by a week of sleeping alone and being responsible for cleaning the bathroom.
Little did Lou know, that little nuclear pill, would give him a new super power - the ability to go for seemingly weeks on end without a meaningful bowel movement! Imagine how handy that turned out to be on international trips where - no matter how spicy the food - there was no danger of having to sit on a non-home toilet where he'd be forced to "touch butts" with scores of strangers!
Of course, the flip side of the coin involved general sluggishness and innocent people constantly subjected to random instances of cropdusting in their local Target stores. Weigh-ins were always problematic as Lou's colon literally was like a box of Cracker Jacks. He never knew what - if anything - he was going to get.
Of course, the Weight Watchers Message Boards seemed a perfect place for Lou to let his colorectal frustrations fly. The legend of Lou's lack of "productivity" spread to the farthest reaches of the Spiritual Space, Mobile Tips & Tricks and Beyond Beer & Burgers boards thanks to overzealous DEALS participants.
Two months ago - a breakthrough! A change in medication by his new endocrinologist has made Lou a whole new man! Or, perhaps, a goose - because now he finds himself chitting like one! The powerful medication, combined with his love of coffee have ushered in a brave new era where Lou strolls confidently into non-home bathrooms, cringes at their filthiness and squeezes his cheeks tight like any other man would do!
So, today, Lou is finally able to retire his old coffee mug (received in a Newbies mug exchange c. 2014) and introduce TWO new mugs to his rotation!
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Replies
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It is with humble thanks to Skip (pictured below rocking the pink tie) that I look forward to using these new mugs - preferably in an office environment where people have a sense of humor - in the very near future.
The brown mug appears to be a 20-ouncer. That's going to be my daily ride at work for sure!
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Curious folks will note a caricature of Cecilia and I in the background of the picture.
My desk is a disaster area because I had to move the box the mugs were in and disrupted everything else. It looks like a running club spilled laptops and Christmas cards all over the place. This is the best angle and there's still considerable junk.0 -
And, because I know you're curious, here's the "retired" mug.
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Love the background story.
I hope you get to use them soon.0 -
Finance guys DO have a sense of humor! That's great!
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Epic! #louspoopingagain
Nice mugs!0 -
Love the mugs, the back story - and the circle continues.0
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Ha ha! I'm so happy for you, for many reasons!0
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Uh no poop whadda story...wait yes poop.0
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