Forty days of dating

silver_arrow3

I stumbled across an article this morning about two friends who have completely different values when it comes to dating - he is a serial dater, sometimes going out with a lot of different women at the time time, and she is a hopeless romantic that jumps into relationships too quickly. They decided after a trip that they were going to do a dating experiment for forty days following these rules:
1. We will see each other every day for 40 days.
2. We will go on at least three dates a week.
3. We will see a couples therapist once a week.
4. We will go on one weekend trip together.
5. We will fill out the daily questionnaire and document everything.
6. We will not see, date, hook up or have sex with anyone else.

The experiment is still on-going and will conclude August 16th at the 40 day mark.

This is a link to their blog where you can read their questionnaires: http://fortydaysofdating.com/

I guess I really don't have anything to say about it or a topic to discuss in particular, but I find experiments like this to be kind of fascinating. Maybe you guys will enjoy it as much as I am!

Fithealthyforlife

Interesting!

MissingMinnesota

If they are only friends what are they trying to obtain from doing this?

pa_jorg

I'm not sure I understand the point either if they are friends and only want to remain friends.:huh:

christine24t

Maybe to try dating someone different than they ever dated? Idk

kristen49233

Would love to see a follow up article when it's done just to see what, if anything, transpired in the relationship field between them.

silver_arrow3

I really don't know what they would get out of the experience except maybe dating out of their normal comfort zones. Like I said, I don't really have any opinions on the project in general, I just find social experiments interesting.

christine24t

Or alternatively, could you grow to like someone romantically?

The_GingerBeard_Man

This really cool. Thanks for sharing.

dbrightwell1270

she is a hopeless romantic that jumps into relationships too quickly. They decided after a trip that they were going to do a dating experiment for forty days following these rules:
1. We will see each other every day for 40 days.
2. We will go on at least three dates a week.
3. We will see a couples therapist once a week.
4. We will go on one weekend trip together.
5. We will fill out the daily questionnaire and document everything.
6. We will not see, date, hook up or have sex with anyone else.

He is definitely out of his comfort zone but how is she? She seems to have convinced a guy she is not really dating to see her every day for 40 days, have sex with no one else and to see a couples therapist. This would be more interesting if she had to go on dates with three different dates a week, juggle multiple guys all at the same time etc.

TheKitsune6

Reading through this I was ready to dismiss it as stupid.

Now I'm on day 23 and I have to say, it's interesting. Not that I give two rips about their experiment, but I love seeing a direct comparison of day to day perception. I like seeing the individual takes on how even the same exact events can seem so different depending on personal bias.

This is better than a soap opera.

pa_jorg

Just an update that I saw this story hit CNN with an interview of the pair.
http://www.cnn.com/2013/08/05/living/relationships-40-days-dating/index.html?hpt=hp_c4

PlayerHatinDogooder

That dude got the short end of the stick.

pa_jorg

That dude got the short end of the stick.

Seems as though he agreed to the terms of the arrangement, so I'm not really sure that's true.

PlayerHatinDogooder

Seems as though he agreed to the terms of the arrangement, so I'm not really sure that's true.

If the woman was doing an experiment where they were dating each other and she was 'serial dating' (like the man was originally) then that would be a much more in the man's favor.

Hence my comment about him getting the short end of the stick . . .

RunIntheMud

Ok, I got sucked into it... and, on the "About" page: It’s been said that it takes 40 days to change a bad habit. In an attempt to explore and hopefully overcome their fears and inadequacies, Tim and Jessica will go through the motions of a relationship for the next 40 days: the commitment, time, companionship, joys and frustrations.

My take on it is that the experiment is two fold. 1. Trying to break habits, his fear of commitment by forcing him to see only one woman for 40 days; her quickness to fall in love by making her go slowly through the stages a relationship. I think that the therapy sessions are causing them each to reflect more on themselves, what they want, what the are capable, etc. than what they would have outside of this experiment. 2. It's trying to see if two people who have put each other in the friend zone can fall in love simply by spending more time together and getting to know each other more. As both of them stated, they were scared to leave that zone for fear of the friendship, however this experiment is forcing each out of their comfort zones and into the situation.

So, anyway....it will be interesting to see what happens.

Moe4572

Has anybody else kept up with this?

I looked today, and they aren't posting the rest until September!!! Only has like 3-4 days left....................

JamesRustler

Am I the only one who sees absolutely zero logic in this? What would be the purpose of doing this to begin with?

jkandktmom

Anyone reading this? I hate to spill the beans but I was kind of shocked.

pa_jorg

Anyone reading this? I hate to spill the beans but I was kind of shocked.

feel free to spill the beans... lol

RunIntheMud

I'm not really shocked....it was a cute idea for a movie and maybe they can sell it that way someday. But, they forced this relationship into existence. That's a lot of pressure on both parties.

PJ .... they broke up on Day 39 after a big fight (he'd been holding in his feelings).

jkandktmom

Run you're right, he kept talking about the pressure he felt but I got the feeling that he was falling for her.

RunIntheMud

I think he really loved her as a friend and wanted it to work but I just never got a good feeling about it (unfortunately). I was really hoping it would work though.

2stepz

During the break, they had a 'vote' of the viewers to see who thought they were still together and who thought they broke up. Last time I checked it was 58% together, 42% apart. I voted with the apart... something just wasn't adding up. I kind of hate that it fell apart at the Magic Kingdom though...