Stuck...... Please help

lose3stone

Hi All, I hope everyone is well and your fighting?

I have stage 3 melanoma and 6 weeks ago I had a left groin dissection. Thankfully no other cancer cells were found and for this I am very grateful but........
I feel totally lost and stuck under a grey cloud! I stayed so strong waiting for the op and through the surgery but now I'm just in pieces. I feel like I have no support because everyone heard the good results and thinks all is over:(
I'm eating all my feelings, I've put on over a stone and its making me feel worse! I love to exercise and was going great before but no motivation now. I know I can't start running a marathon as the top hole in my groin hasn't healed completely and I'm worried about some lymph odema but I feel something would help if I could just get started!
Does anyone feel like this? Has anyone else had surgery then fallen apart after?

Thanks so much for your help:)

Putcake

I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. Just to let you know you're not alone, I felt the exact same way once I finished treatment.

I had 2 surgeries last year. The first discovered the cancer, the second removed it. Then I had a few weeks to recover and started chemo (4 rounds) and radiation.

I finished up treatment in mid-January and returned to work part-time in March, full time in April. The 6 weeks between the end of treatment and when I went back to work were miserable. I definitely think it was my body getting back to "normal." Chemo sent me in to menopause, which made things so much worse. My hormones were off balance and I didn't understand why I wasn't back to my regular activities. The worse part was that I was still scared - I wanted to have more MRI and CT scans done so that my doctors would tell me that everything was ok. It didn't help that I had one scan that the radiologist read and actually put in the notes "may have tumor re-occurrence." It wasn't cancer, it was scar tissue. That kind of stuff messed with my head big time. I kept thinking - when is this over? I went through the treatment, I lost my hair - can I just have some sort of good news? Am I always going to think the tumor is still there - or that there is one cell left in my body and that it could come back?

It took some time - and an anti-depressant to get me back to my old self. I hate to push drugs on people, but it really made the difference. I was actually prescribed it to help with the hot flashes. It worked - and after a few weeks, I was able to let go of a lot of my worries. I was able to return to work - which I don't think would have been possible without it. I also started going to a support group. It helped so much to talk with others going through the same thing. Suddenly, I wasn't alone. I stayed on the anti-depressant for a few months and now I'm slowly weaning myself off. It was just to help me get over the hump. And it did.

As sappy as it may sound, I have some specific things I think about when I start to worry. I remember first of all, that I feel great. I remind myself that 6 months ago, I could barely get up off the couch. Now I'm excited to get up and get moving. I want to take my kid to the park or take a walk. I'm excited because I can. I wake up every morning. My hair is growing back. All positive things. I've been given a gift - every day.

And most importantly - if you need some time to just feel down, then allow yourself to do so. You've been through a lot. A diagnosis you weren't expecting. Surgery. It's ok to be sad. You just have to remember that this is not forever. You will feel better!

CRody44

l3s
I was diagnosed with two stage 3b Invasive Malignant Melanoma tumors with ulceration on the bottom of my foot. My excision left a 6cm X 8cm X 1cm hole in the bottom of my foot. The margins of my excision as well as my lymph node (groin) biopsy showed that there was no cancer. I elected to take the “wait and see” option rather than take a coctail of drugs. I also elected to let the wound heal naturally rather than have a skin graft, which took three months of staying off my foot.
I haven’t been close to God in in about 50 years, but, before my surgery, I had a little chat with Him/Her and promised to be a better person if I came back clear. I didn’t want to make a deal that I wouldn’t keep, like going back to church, so I chose something that I could work on and improve.
I am almost ten months free of cancer.
I don’t know how much a stone is, but I gained 20 pounds since surgery. I am still apprehensious before every trip to the lab, my Dermatologist or Oncologist, but I rejoice with the good news. Two weeks ago, I got back to the gym after being away for about 10 months. I’m not overdoing it, only 30 minutes on the seated elliptical at a moderate level and pace. I feel good about this and want to continue.
Every time I start to get down (I also have heart problems that will require surgery), I remember how scared I was after the diagnosis, and how happy I was with the “all clear”. Rather than dwell on what could be, I live for what is. Last month, I took a cruise to the British Isles with my wife, and in December will be taking by family (2 daughters and husbands, one son and three grandsons) to Disneyland. Next year we are taking my son to the Mediterranean. All part of my “bucket list”.
I realize how precious life is and try not to let negative thought about things I have no control over, interfere with my living.
God bless and keep you safe. Good luck.
Chuck

daltem

Hugs to you!

AuntieMC

I have heard that this is very common. We go to "battle stations" to get through the crisis, and when the immediate battle is over (such as a surgery, or a course of chemotherapy", even if the results are good, we often start feeling the feelings that were suppressed to get us through the emergency. Be gentle with yourself, and patient! You have been through a lot, and you need a little time to recover, emotionally.

lose3stone

Thanks guys for all your kind words, I know it's just a matter of time, patience and knowing that its ok to had a bad day......and
I've just had the "all clear" until I see the surgeon and dermatologist again in October. I'm going to try my best to carry on as my normal happy self in between these appointments and hope I always get "great, see you in 3 months"..... Baby steps right ????
I see the Lymph odema nurses next week and I hope they will give me some massage tools ( thankfully I only have a small amount of odema) and also some tips about getting back exercising.
Thanks again for your support????