Rough Day at the Gym

sampson2010

Let me start by saying that I love lifting. Love it. Love what it’s done for me both physically and mentally over the last six months, but beyond that, I love not just the effects of it, but the actual physical act of lifting. But I didn’t love it today.

It should have been a great workout—it was a lazy Sunday morning and the weight room was not even a quarter full. I had a power rack all to myself with no-one looking over my shoulder, which was lovely because I was taking my sweet time between sets. Squats felt fine, but when I moved on to OHP, even my warm-up sets were hard. Then, somewhere between the second and third set, my attention wandered over to two young women doing the weight machine circuit. Watching them in their booty shorts and their tank tops that probably still smelled like fresh laundry, and their brightly coloured running shoes, doing 15 reps with weights that put so little strain on their bodies they could chat with each other the whole time, I had a odd moment of thinking “That looks like a nice way to work out. So much more civilized and painless than what’s going on over here on this side of the gym.” The thought of pushing myself through three more sets of OHPs suddenly made me want to cry. And I had a brief fantasy of what life would be like if I could wear booty shorts, if I could wear cute shoes to the gym instead of Chucks, if I could workout with a friend and have it be a fun, social experience, if I didn’t always have to explain to people my bruised shins and calloused hands, if I didn’t have to ice my shoulder every night, if my muscles weren’t so exhausted at the end of a workout that my legs actually wobble as I rollerblade home, if my hamstrings didn’t hate me when I choose to skip stretching “just this once,” if my body wasn’t in constant pain, and my mind wasn’t constantly pre-occupied by the limitations of my body.

It was a <i>brief</i> fantasy. I finished my OHPs that made me want to cry, and I didn’t cry. I did my deadlifts, and got the “respect” nod from the muscle-y gym dude beside me. I forced myself to stretch. When I got back to the change room, I took a minute to admire my bruises and my calluses. I bladed home slowly on wobbly legs. I threw my disgustingly smelly workout clothes in the wash. And I ate all the bacon and eggs in the house

So, yeah, it wasn’t my best day at the gym and I don’t really know why. But I do know that when I look back at my training log, all I’ll see for this day is that I had 5’s across the board. I guess the bottom line, for me, is that a rough day at the gym is still a day at the gym.

neandermagnon

5's all round is great :drinker:

respect from muscly dudes is great :drinker:

wearing hot pants and not sweating much at the gym is greatly over-rated. their barbie weights are massively over-rated. Conversing while "working" out is over-rated.

and they'll be jealous of your body and wonder why their barbie weights and elliptical machines didn't make them look like you....

and it doesn't sounds like a bad day at the gym at all




OHPs make me want to cry too lol... so much work for so little added weight on the bar... BUT I really like what they've done for my shoulder muscles!!

btw you write really well, if you don't blog already I think you should.

belle_of_the_bar

You got it done though, and for that, you have to be proud. There are many times that I compare myself to the chics "working out" with their hair down, cute clothes, and skinny tan legs, and I realize that I will never be them. Even if I never ate or lifted another weight and set up camp on a treadmill, I won't ever be that thin, that tan, or even that young again. But I will never be that weak again either. I wear my knee-length shorts that show my panty lines, my hair in a messy ball so I won't pull it when I squat, and my grunting look-like-I'm-gonna-poop-face, and it's the best me I can be. We should be proud of the strength we have and will have in the future, and take solace in the fact that you're not alone in the occasional rough day at the gym.

Fullsterkur_woman

Even if I never ate or lifted another weight and set up camp on a treadmill, I won't ever be that thin, that tan, or even that young again. But I will never be that weak again either.

SO MUCH THIS! I was just thinking the same thing. You will win in every way that matters. Including having respect for yourself.:flowerforyou:

sampson2010

Thanks ladies for the support. When you're the only women on the boys' side of the gym, it's easy to sometimes feel isolated in what you're doing -- it's incredibly reassuring to know that there's an amazing group of strong women out there who share the same goals and the same passion. (and apparently the same unattractive lifting/grunting face )

I do want to amend some of what I wrote in my original post though. Because of whatever mood I was in today -- and I think it had much more to do with what's going on in my life outside of the gym rather than what was actually happening inside it -- I let myself get envious or resentful, and that somehow translated into me taking a position of superiority. Because I think that's really what I was trying to do in my post -- make myself feel better by asserting that I was stronger than someone else. And that's really not okay. I should be able to feel good about my own strength without setting it in comparison to anyone else's. When I go to the gym, I want to believe that I'm not being judged, that my clothes and my body and my workout are not being judged. And so it's incredibly unfair that I would do that to anyone else. The two girls that I mentioned in my post -- that may have been the first day they've ever set foot in a gym, in which case they should be applauded for having taken that first step, not ridiculed for not working hard enough. Or they may have run a triathlon yesterday and were taking it easy today. Or maybe they've been going every day for a year, doing a workout that they were told would work for them and they're frustrated because they aren't seeing any results. Whatever their situation, I'm not in a position to judge and I feel bad for having done so. There are so many women in this Stronglifts groups who are models of strength and encouragement and who have made a difference to me without ever knowing it. And I want to be like them -- I want to lift up, not tear down.

Thanks aidasmom for the reminder that the goal really is to be the "best me I can be." And thank you neadermagnon for, well for everything you said, but mostly for complimenting my writing. I don't often "speak up" around here; however, I'm struggling with mild depression at the moment and I'm trying to convince myself that writing is good therapy even when it's hard. So your kind words meant a lot. :flowerforyou:

WeCallThemDayWalkers

You are amazing. And you are an excellent writer.

kitkat4141

What you wrote is beautiful. And don't feel badly, we all have our moments.

Hollywoodm55

I feel the same way as you sometimes, even my heavy lifting isn't all that heavy. I envy the skinny girls, but I most envy the girl squatting her body weight. I respect you for not stopping and following through with your workout. Keep being yourself!

randomtai

I like being the only woman on the "boys side of the gym". Women like you describe only annoy me by their presence.

cats847

That was a great read!

I feel lucky that there are other female lifters at my gym. Occasionally, I will see a female powerlifter benching somethin' crazy, a bodybuilder doing her sets, or various female sports athletes going about their workout. And you're right, as you point out -- everyone in the gym has different goals, are at different points in their journey (whatever it may be), so it's not productive to judge others (or ourselves!). :flowerforyou:

HOWEVER.

The types of girls you describe DO start to annoy me when they gather at the only spot in the weight room big enough for deadlifts (that is, where everyone routinely does their deadlifts) and decide to do their 3lb dumbell aerobics routine...even though there is another nice, air-conditioned, well-kept place to do that: an entire other ROOM dedicated for yoga/light dumbell weights/aerobics.... WHY????? :explode:

In other words...they can do whatever they want as long as it doesn't meddle with my workout :grumble:

sampson2010

Thank to all you ladies for your responses!

grandevampire

The types of girls you describe DO start to annoy me when they gather at the only spot in the weight room big enough for deadlifts (that is, where everyone routinely does their deadlifts) and decide to do their 3lb dumbell aerobics routine...even though there is another nice, air-conditioned, well-kept place to do that: an entire other ROOM dedicated for yoga/light dumbell weights/aerobics.... WHY????? :explode:

You should totally bring your stuff into that room to deadlift. Wuahahahaha.

lwoodroff

Hey Samson, I'm another lone lady in the 'rone zone, just wanted to give you a hat tip both for your lovely writing and more lovely attitude. We all get niggled by other people, we don't always check our attitudes and strive for generosity of spirit. Hope the endorphins chase those blues away! X