Hookup culture
pa_jorg
Posts: 4,404 Member
Interesting article from Time Magazine. Thoughts?
http://healthland.time.com/2013/08/13/the-truth-about-college-hookups/?hpt=hp_t3
http://healthland.time.com/2013/08/13/the-truth-about-college-hookups/?hpt=hp_t3
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Replies
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All of the evidence points to the fact that college kids today are drinking less, taking fewer drugs and even having less sex than their parents’ generation. Hooking up just isn’t what it used to be.
Thank God I went to college in the '90s.0 -
I definitely think youngsters are drinking less. We were talking about this in the pub the other day. Pubs are not anywhere near as rammed as they used to be in my day. Alcohol is too expensive in pubs here now.
If that relates to shagging less, I really don't know :huh:0 -
I can't read the article on my phone but I will when I get home from work!
I hate hookup culture though. I should've been born in like 1950 lol.0 -
Unless the article is about hooking up a LAN party.... I have no interest.0
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Unless the article is about hooking up a LAN party.... I have no interest.
This^0 -
Unless the article is about hooking up a LAN party.... I have no interest.
Yup0 -
Is "LAN Party" some sort of euphemism I don't know about?0
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Is "LAN Party" some sort of euphemism I don't know about?
No its a gamer term lol0 -
Ditto!
I hate hookup culture though. I should've been born in like 1950 lol.0 -
Now that I got the chance to read the article I'll respond for real.
I hate hookup culture. I think it's really sad. People are finding it easier to be more physical with their bodies than actually express FEELINGS to people. It's easier to grind up on a guy then to say "Hey, I like you like that." (At least I find it easier.) Whether that's just me or it's everybody, it's just sad. For the most part, my peer group consists of either virgins or people who've had sex with one partner.
But it's very interesting that college students are having less sex...I think of a lot of it has to do with the fact that there are more STDS, etc to worry about in this day and age. We see ads on TV, articles in magazines,. Also, with women advancing to better jobs, having kids later, etc. there is a big fear of pregnancy.In fact, 1 in 4 college students is a virgin and in the new research, only 20% of students from either era reported having six or more partners after turning 18.
I think this is awesome.0 -
...I hate hookup culture. I think it's really sad. People are finding it easier to be more physical with their bodies than actually express FEELINGS to people. ...
Careful with the stone throwing on this one. What about people who are comfortable with their bodies and their natural sexuality and choose to express it? I've known women who get a genuine sense of empowerment by spending their early years discovering themselves sexually. They are then able to take this experience and apply it to their adult life in order to make responsible decisions when relationships begin to really "matter". They are also great in bed.
I'm not saying one choice is better than the other, I'm just advocating a step back before judging another lifestyle.0 -
...I hate hookup culture. I think it's really sad. People are finding it easier to be more physical with their bodies than actually express FEELINGS to people. ...
Careful with the stone throwing on this one. What about people who are comfortable with their bodies and their natural sexuality and choose to express it? I've known women who get a genuine sense of empowerment by spending their early years discovering themselves sexually. They are then able to take this experience and apply it to their adult life in order to make responsible decisions when relationships begin to really "matter". They are also great in bed.
I'm not saying one choice is better than the other, I'm just advocating a step back before judging another lifestyle.
Good point, well made. Personally, I find the ubiquity of 'Hookup culture' somewhat distressing, as it does seem to put a lot of pressure on those for whom it might not be the preferred choice to go along with it, or risk missing out entirely on any youthful experience or intimacy (I speak as one who resisted and did miss out!). It certainly isn't, or at least, shouldn't be, the only way to explore one's sexuality, though as a teenager/young adult it often seemed that way. Horses for courses, I suppose - I'm sure there are some people for whom this is a comfortable option. I'd be willing to put rather a lot of money on that number being MUCH smaller than the number who are involved in this sort of behaviour, though, and perhaps especially among teenage girls who tend to hold on to a fairly romantic view of things, and also have the opposite pressure to be a 'good' girl in fairly hefty measure.0 -
...I hate hookup culture. I think it's really sad. People are finding it easier to be more physical with their bodies than actually express FEELINGS to people. ...
Careful with the stone throwing on this one. What about people who are comfortable with their bodies and their natural sexuality and choose to express it? I've known women who get a genuine sense of empowerment by spending their early years discovering themselves sexually. They are then able to take this experience and apply it to their adult life in order to make responsible decisions when relationships begin to really "matter". They are also great in bed.
I'm not saying one choice is better than the other, I'm just advocating a step back before judging another lifestyle.
Truthfully I have a very hard time accepting this viewpoint...but you were super awesome in the virgins thread so I can't give you a hard time. That's all I will say!
Casta once again you're right...it seemed like it was either hookup or not, and frankly I can't imagine for the life of me being intimate with a guy outside of a relationship...and well men have never knocked down my door so I missed out and sometimes worry its too late to catch up.0 -
Truthfully I have a very hard time accepting this viewpoint...but you were super awesome in the virgins thread so I can't give you a hard time. That's all I will say!
I meant what I said in that thread as well. There are a lot of viewpoints that I have a hard time understanding. Accepting them, however, doesn't always require understanding.
When we apply the filter of our own past experiences and viewpoints on another person's actions, things get really cloudy. It's pretty hard not to though, isn't it? Moral relativity is a tricky thing and one I'm trying to understand a bit more myself.0 -
I'm not sure everyone read the article... the point was that 'kids' are not hooking up as much as they were assumed to be. Isn't that good news to those of you who don't agree with it?0
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I'm not sure everyone read the article... the point was that 'kids' are not hooking up as much as they were assumed to be. Isn't that good news to those of you who don't agree with it?
On the same token, I know that kids are going on less real dates these days. I read an article in a club I used to belong to about it. There is even a college class at Boston College taught by a professor who asks her students to ask one person on a real date by the end of the semester. The kids were scared.
"Some of the students said, “I am taking this class because you are going to make me go on a date. I can’t bring myself to do it without the assignment.""
This is the article, it's fascinating. http://bcm.bc.edu/issues/winter_2012/endnotes/the-ask.html0 -
I'm not sure everyone read the article... the point was that 'kids' are not hooking up as much as they were assumed to be. Isn't that good news to those of you who don't agree with it?
On the same token, I know that kids are going on less real dates these days. I read an article in a club I used to belong to about it. There is even a college class at Boston College taught by a professor who asks her students to ask one person on a real date by the end of the semester. The kids were scared.
"Some of the students said, “I am taking this class because you are going to make me go on a date. I can’t bring myself to do it without the assignment.""
This is the article, it's fascinating. http://bcm.bc.edu/issues/winter_2012/endnotes/the-ask.html
Christine, You have been very vocal about never wanting to ask a man out on a date. Curious if you would if you were in this class and been given the assignment?
*note I haven't read the article you posted, but will now.0 -
I'm not sure everyone read the article... the point was that 'kids' are not hooking up as much as they were assumed to be. Isn't that good news to those of you who don't agree with it?
On the same token, I know that kids are going on less real dates these days. I read an article in a club I used to belong to about it. There is even a college class at Boston College taught by a professor who asks her students to ask one person on a real date by the end of the semester. The kids were scared.
"Some of the students said, “I am taking this class because you are going to make me go on a date. I can’t bring myself to do it without the assignment.""
This is the article, it's fascinating. http://bcm.bc.edu/issues/winter_2012/endnotes/the-ask.html
Christine, You have been very vocal about never wanting to ask a man out on a date. Curious if you would if you were in this class and been given the assignment?
*note I haven't read the article you posted, but will now.
I guess I would've had to if it was for a grade. But I would probably ended up asking one of my male friends I had in college and make it clear it was for an assignment. It only has to be one date. I know the professor advocates both genders asking each other. I'm pretty traditional in that sense, but I can't lie so I'll admit it would also be incredibly heartbreaking to put yourself out there and ask a guy out and get rejected...which leads to a point the professor said. For many people, it's easier to get physical than it is to say, "hey, wanna grab a cup of coffee with me and talk?"0 -
I'm not sure everyone read the article... the point was that 'kids' are not hooking up as much as they were assumed to be. Isn't that good news to those of you who don't agree with it?
On the same token, I know that kids are going on less real dates these days. I read an article in a club I used to belong to about it. There is even a college class at Boston College taught by a professor who asks her students to ask one person on a real date by the end of the semester. The kids were scared.
"Some of the students said, “I am taking this class because you are going to make me go on a date. I can’t bring myself to do it without the assignment.""
This is the article, it's fascinating. http://bcm.bc.edu/issues/winter_2012/endnotes/the-ask.html
Christine, You have been very vocal about never wanting to ask a man out on a date. Curious if you would if you were in this class and been given the assignment?
*note I haven't read the article you posted, but will now.
I guess I would've had to if it was for a grade. But I would probably ended up asking one of my male friends I had in college and make it clear it was for an assignment. It only has to be one date. I know the professor advocates both genders asking each other. I'm pretty traditional in that sense, but I can't lie so I'll admit it would also be incredibly heartbreaking to put yourself out there and ask a guy out and get rejected...which leads to a point the professor said. For many people, it's easier to get physical than it is to say, "hey, wanna grab a cup of coffee with me and talk?"
The article was quite interesting actually, so thank you for sharing. Two points for anyone who might not have time to read it... 1) the professor basically says that lack of courage in younger people has led to the demise of dating culture and 2) she is all for women asking men on dates.One of the things that really needs to change is that women need to be willing to ask men out. Lots of heterosexual students I talk to—especially women—say, “Oh no, I really believe that men should ask women out.” I say to them, “That’s total bull. You are a feminist in every respect except this one?” Both men and women need to be courageous. - See more at: http://bcm.bc.edu/issues/winter_2012/endnotes/the-ask.html#sthash.zQBb4qSD.dpuf
So, with those points in mind, asking a friend wouldn't even be close to completing the assignment. Just something to ponder.0 -
Somewhere in the article she did say that you could tell the person that it was for a class. I guess I took that to mean that you could tell the person it wasn't serious, ergo you could ask a friend. But if I couldn't ask a friend...well I would probably fail. There was one kid in college who I would do homework with and stuff...we weren't "friends" by any means but I could've asked him I suppose. But if I had to ask today...it would need to be a random stranger because I no longer hang out with any men, just women.
But yeah, we're all lacking in courage. I'm not sure WHY per se. Maybe that is the question we need to solve and with it, we'll fix many problems!0 -
But yeah, we're all lacking in courage. I'm not sure WHY per se. Maybe that is the question we need to solve and with it, we'll fix many problems!
This is a great take-away, definitely something to think about for sure!! Could it be that you were the first generation to grow up being online so social interaction (besides the physical need for sex for many) is a lost art form?0 -
I'm not sure everyone read the article... the point was that 'kids' are not hooking up as much as they were assumed to be. Isn't that good news to those of you who don't agree with it?
I did read the article, but I prefer to derail any thread possible in order to further my own agenda and perspective.
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I'm not sure everyone read the article... the point was that 'kids' are not hooking up as much as they were assumed to be. Isn't that good news to those of you who don't agree with it?
I did read the article, but I prefer to derail any thread possible in order to further my own agenda and perspective.
You have to be hot to get away with that *kitten* around here...lucky for you 0 -
You have to be hot to get away with that *kitten* around here...lucky for you
:blushing:
It's easy to be Internet-hot.0 -
But yeah, we're all lacking in courage. I'm not sure WHY per se. Maybe that is the question we need to solve and with it, we'll fix many problems!
This is a great take-away, definitely something to think about for sure!! Could it be that you were the first generation to grow up being online so social interaction (besides the physical need for sex for many) is a lost art form?
Maybe it's some of it, but I truthfully didn't really use my computer much for the internet and social networks (I usually just played The Sims on it) until junior year of high school (2006).
(I know for me personally I've always been reserved around strangers, even as a kid, it's my nature. Around people I know I'm extremely outgoing but if I meet someone new, I tend to clam up. Once I get to know you once or twice I'm absolutely fine but it's a matter of getting past the first awkward moments. I think that clumsiness, combined with my low self-esteem/lack of experience in the dating realm, leads to this lack of courage.)0 -
Unless the article is about hooking up a LAN party.... I have no interest.
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I'm not sure everyone read the article... the point was that 'kids' are not hooking up as much as they were assumed to be. Isn't that good news to those of you who don't agree with it?
I read it. I still stand by my distaste over the apparent ubiquity, though. You can bet your socks the average college student *thinks* everyone else is 'hooking up' with alarming frequency, because that is made to seem like the default behaviour or 'norm'. Thinking back (not so far ) to that age, pretty much everyone was desperate to at least appear 'normal', to be seen to do the 'standard' thing, whatever that was. It took a lot of guts (or pigheadedness or conviction, or all of the above!) to persist in standing out from the crowd, when being part of the crowd seemed like the only tolerable option! 0 -
But yeah, we're all lacking in courage. I'm not sure WHY per se. Maybe that is the question we need to solve and with it, we'll fix many problems!
This is a great take-away, definitely something to think about for sure!! Could it be that you were the first generation to grow up being online so social interaction (besides the physical need for sex for many) is a lost art form?
Maybe it's some of it, but I truthfully didn't really use my computer much for the internet and social networks (I usually just played The Sims on it) until junior year of high school (2006).
(I know for me personally I've always been reserved around strangers, even as a kid, it's my nature. Around people I know I'm extremely outgoing but if I meet someone new, I tend to clam up. Once I get to know you once or twice I'm absolutely fine but it's a matter of getting past the first awkward moments. I think that clumsiness, combined with my low self-esteem/lack of experience in the dating realm, leads to this lack of courage.)
While I have been on the internet and usually it socially since the mid 90s and am over 10 years older than her. I spent way to much of my college free time on IRC. WOW that was a long time ago.0 -
hmm how can I put this... I've been on booth sides of this issue. I didn't lose my viginity til I was 19. That man eventually became my husband ,then ex-husband. So I wasn't part of the hook-up culture. When I became 26 I was suddenly single after having only been with 1 man. I did end up with a FWB during that time before I started dating my LT BF of 5 years. When we split I went back to FWB and had several. I became much more comfortable with the hook-up nature of culture as I got older. Plus I am also much more confidant in myself then I was earlier in life and no longer equate sex= love. Personally I think people should do whatever makes them happy. However keeping in mind that for EVERY decision you make you do cut your dating pool by that much.0
