Dodged a bullet?
jesusHchris
Posts: 1,405 Member
So I recently had a relationship that lasted all of 3 months (out of like 6 years being single, I know...). I ended it because I was getting this weird feeling that I was filling a role this girl had in her fantasy future. She moved here from Russia a few years ago and I think wanted to find someone to take care of her. I broke up with her when she started asking for help with bills - not because I care about the money, but because I felt taken advantage of.
She calls me up a few weeks ago to see if I will go to a concert with her as a friend. I say sure, why not. She sends me an email today saying she has to cancel because she is getting married next week.
I think I called it right!
She calls me up a few weeks ago to see if I will go to a concert with her as a friend. I say sure, why not. She sends me an email today saying she has to cancel because she is getting married next week.
I think I called it right!
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WOW!!!!
What a sucker he is! How long do you think she had known this new guy? (ie - you don't give the time frame that you've been apart).
Thank your lucky stars!
I can't believe someone would ask for help with bills after 3 months! I'd have a hard time asking after 3 years!0 -
Oh, we broke up maybe 6 months ago. I get the impression she must have JUST met this guy though if she was inviting me to the concert with her. Who knows though.
I hope it works out well for them, but it definitely wasn't for me.
edit: the bills thing is an oversimplification, just trying to keep it short.
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Oh wow. :noway:0
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Oh, we broke up maybe 6 months ago. I get the impression she must have JUST met this guy though if she was inviting me to the concert with her. Who knows though.
I hope it works out well for them, but it definitely wasn't for me.
Even at 6 months that's really quick! I mean I know people happily married who moved as fast, but like you said if she just had invited you to the concert it must be fairly recent.
She ruins it all for us good ones!0 -
WOW. :laugh:0
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:noway: Wow! Good instincts for not getting caught in her web!0
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I would have thought 'Russian' would have been a clue Chris? You get Russian brides by email here.
Some cultures prey on Western men to look after and support them and their family. In return, they are usually good looking, sexy, subservient and obedient. They are usually young too. (Or they prey on older, more stable, men).
Is that not stereotypical in America too?0 -
I would have thought 'Russian' would have been a clue Chris? You get Russian brides by email here.
Some cultures prey on Western men to look after and support them and their family. In return, they are usually good looking, sexy, subservient and obedient. They are usually young too. (Or they prey on older, more stable, men).
Is that not stereotypical in America too?
It has happened to me. When I graduated high school long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away, a high school friend and I went to visit family of mine in Mexico. It was his first time travelling outside the US. I would get asked if I was a citizen from the USA, since they would hear me talking in English to my buddy. I did at first and would get plenty of attention. After a while it got annoying.
They didn't care to know me really, they were just into me because to them I looked like a ticket to get to the US. I started lying saying I wasn't from the US but from Mexico and I just studied abroad up north. Immediately they lost interest in me and moved on to my friend. He was swarmed by women of all kinds of ages. He's tall, 6'4, white, dirty blonde hair and blue eyes. He didn't know a lick of Spanish so I would get bombarded with questions. Is he single? Does he like latina women?
It was kind of funny, they would attempt to converse with him and of course he would just smile and have no clue. He got annoyed a little too after a while so I told the ladies that he wasn't from the US but from Iceland and also was studying abroad in the US. They too left him alone after that. :laugh:0 -
I would have thought 'Russian' would have been a clue Chris? You get Russian brides by email here.
Some cultures prey on Western men to look after and support them and their family. In return, they are usually good looking, sexy, subservient and obedient. They are usually young too. (Or they prey on older, more stable, men).
Anna, they were ADVERTISING exactly this by Embankment tube yesterday! I'll see if I can find the photo of the flyer a friend posted on Facebook...0 -
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Well you can't judge all women from Russia based on sterotypes though. Happy you dodged that bullet though Chris. It sounds like she gave off the clues pretty early and just confirmed them with the wanting you to pay her bills.0
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I have a friend who spent 6 months in Moscow doing research for his dissertation. He told me how much attention he got from nearly every Russian woman and how he thought he finally found a place where women appreciated his type. When he got back he heard that there was a group of Russian women from the same school where he did his study in Moscow who were doing a study abroad program at our university. He went to some sort of social where they were and none of them gave him the time of day but all were extremely interested in other American males.0
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I can't see the image. But it's been like this for years. Russian/Thai/Philippine are all marketing themselves as good wives for rich westerners. And I'm sure they are! Some men are quite happy to provide young women this kind of stability in return for ......ahem.......the usual marital obligations? lol
I had a clients buying a kitchen a few weeks back. He, a very well spoken English gent around 50. She, an attractive, slim, Asian 'Princess' (as he kept on calling her), around 25.0 -
There is a couple I see in the elevator at work all the time and he's a 50-something slobby white guy and she's a petite beautiful, younger Phillipino woman I think. They are absolutely inseparable in the building - and this is at work so I can only imagine she's not allowed out of his sight anywhere else!! I don't know for certain, but the rumors sure make it seem as though this was an arrangement. Honestly, I couldn't imagine why she would put up with it otherwise.0
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good job Chris. I personally would never be able to ask a man for help with bills...except my dad (lol it was once) If you were living together and it was a communal bill thats one thing but just randomly asking you to help her pay bill yeah no thanks buddy. say buhbye0
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I would have thought 'Russian' would have been a clue Chris? You get Russian brides by email here.
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Is that not stereotypical in America too?
Yeah, I fell in to the stereotype. She was already living here in the states though, employed, going to school to advance herself and career, all the normal things you would expect from anyone else.
I've lived in a foreign country as an immigrant before. I made a ton of great friends there who were citizens or other travelers from all over the world. I know that isn't always the case. Also, I prefer to live trusting people and occasionally get burned than the other way around.
But maybe I'll be a bit more careful next time. 0 -
I would have thought 'Russian' would have been a clue Chris? You get Russian brides by email here.
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Is that not stereotypical in America too?
Yeah, I fell in to the stereotype. She was already living here in the states though, employed, going to school to advance herself and career, all the normal things you would expect from anyone else.
I've lived in a foreign country as an immigrant before. I made a ton of great friends there who were citizens or other travelers from all over the world. I know that isn't always the case. Also, I prefer to live trusting people and occasionally get burned than the other way around.
But maybe I'll be a bit more careful next time.
I would have fallen for it too. There is a huge difference between someone already working here and getting an education and someone who is still living in the country looking for a "meal ticket," as crass as that term is. You know, you tried and it didn't work out. You have nothing for which you need be ashamed :flowerforyou:0 -
So I recently had a relationship that lasted all of 3 months (out of like 6 years being single, I know...). I ended it because I was getting this weird feeling that I was filling a role this girl had in her fantasy future. She moved here from Russia a few years ago and I think wanted to find someone to take care of her. I broke up with her when she started asking for help with bills - not because I care about the money, but because I felt taken advantage of.
She calls me up a few weeks ago to see if I will go to a concert with her as a friend. I say sure, why not. She sends me an email today saying she has to cancel because she is getting married next week.
I think I called it right!
As did she? She was obviously looking for a man to take care of her, and although that is not how I roll, I have nothing against women who search for this in their relationships. You are to be commended for not future faking her so she could find a man that enjoys spending his cash on her. IMHO you both came out winners:flowerforyou:0 -
As did she? She was obviously looking for a man to take care of her, and although that is not how I roll, I have nothing against women who search for this in their relationships. You are to be commended for not future faking her so she could find a man that enjoys spending his cash on her. IMHO you both came out winners:flowerforyou:
I do really hope she is happy. It just wasn't going to work out that way for us. My problem was that she would not come out and say she was looking for a man to take care of her. I always got the feeling she was doing a bit of acting to come off as the type of person she assumed I wanted to be with. I honestly wasn't sure, though, and this sort of validates the feelings I had.
Or at least it feels that way. I have all kinds of issues that make me a bad candidate for a relationship, so I'm not judging - I just feel a little better that maybe I didn't leave someone for an imaginary reason.0 -
yeah, I dont think there's anything wrong with people who enter into these arrangements. As long as both parties are aware of the other's needs, I think they can, and do, work. It's when there is deceit for a certain gain, is when I think it becomes a bit of farce.
I'm glad your feeling has been validated Chris. And I do hope you sort your issues out, although I know plenty of women on this forum that would welcome the chance to sort them out for you!! haha!!
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As did she? She was obviously looking for a man to take care of her, and although that is not how I roll, I have nothing against women who search for this in their relationships. You are to be commended for not future faking her so she could find a man that enjoys spending his cash on her. IMHO you both came out winners:flowerforyou:
I do really hope she is happy. It just wasn't going to work out that way for us. My problem was that she would not come out and say she was looking for a man to take care of her. I always got the feeling she was doing a bit of acting to come off as the type of person she assumed I wanted to be with. I honestly wasn't sure, though, and this sort of validates the feelings I had.
Or at least it feels that way. I have all kinds of issues that make me a bad candidate for a relationship, so I'm not judging - I just feel a little better that maybe I didn't leave someone for an imaginary reason.
I lurk in here a lot and have read many of your posts. You seem like a great guy and i agree with AnnaPixie 0 -
I can't see the image. But it's been like this for years. Russian/Thai/Philippine are all marketing themselves as good wives for rich westerners. And I'm sure they are! Some men are quite happy to provide young women this kind of stability in return for ......ahem.......the usual marital obligations? lol
I had a clients buying a kitchen a few weeks back. He, a very well spoken English gent around 50. She, an attractive, slim, Asian 'Princess' (as he kept on calling her), around 25.
Mail order brides is what I say 0 -
What concert?0
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Maybe she got pregnant and is now having a shotgun wedding?0
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Maybe she got pregnant and is now having a shotgun wedding?
Wouldn't be surprised. The first major red flag was when she made a comment about not minding if she got accidentally pregnant. Looking back on this, that is the exact moment I should have ran.What concert?
A big music festival, Korn is playing along with a ton of other bands.0 -
Maybe she got pregnant and is now having a shotgun wedding?
Wouldn't be surprised. The first major red flag was when she made a comment about not minding if she got accidentally pregnant. Looking back on this, that is the exact moment I should have ran.What concert?
A big music festival, Korn is playing along with a ton of other bands.
Side note...I love KORN !!!!!! Everytime I've gone to see them I have not been dissapointed ..Return to normal thread activities now0 -
Side note...I love KORN !!!!!! Everytime I've gone to see them I have not been dissapointed ..Return to normal thread activities now
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I lurk in here a lot and have read many of your posts. You seem like a great guy and i agree with AnnaPixie
Thanks! 0 -
Side note...I love KORN !!!!!! Everytime I've gone to see them I have not been dissapointed ..Return to normal thread activities now
So sick. I also love Korn. They put on an AMAZING show. I saw them with The Deftones.
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oh my gosh! i had an incident like this starting in march!!! we went on a couple of dates over about 2 weeks. he was ready to say i love you, move in together and get married!!!! i was like, yeah, NO!
well, two weeks after our last date he CALLS ME to tell me he met a girl, they were in love, he was moving into her place, she was talking about going off the pill to get preggo!!!!!! this was late april-ish very early may i think...... they got engaged middle of july. then a week later he texts me that he has to delete me as a FB friend because she doesn't want him to be friends on FB with girls he dated!!!!!
I told him he needed to delete my phone number too, just to be safe ;-)
talk about a bullet dodged!
he's happy, and found a girl that was ready to just jump in feet first and worry about the rest of it later. *I* am not that girl. so, it worked out for both of us!!0
