Like Minded Lushes - Fall 2019
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Awww Gary, it's so difficult and heartbreaking to go through.
I swear I aged 10 years during the last year of my MIL's life. But she refused help. Be grateful your dad is asking for it. Hospice will help you through so much. They take care of family as much as the patient. I think much of your stress will be relieved once they get involved, allowing you to just spend some quality time with your dad in his final months.
Message me anytime. In the meantime just try to do the basics to help: don't beat yourself up, get enough sleep, drink lots of water and take a walk every day if you can. (A good gummy does wonders as well!)
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Thank you Sydney.
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Gary, so sorry about your dad. My dad is so depressed and has also given up on life. And he's only 76! This is definitely a difficult time in our lives - this navigating older parents and all that. Be kind to yourself during all of this. You're right that eating right and exercising will help you be in good physical (and emotional) state to deal with the days ahead. I know how tough it is, but you've got this!
I'm on Day 4 of my fast from alcohol. I feel really good. Clear-headed and actually a lot happier. It's still VERY early days, but I'm hoping to keep at it for a while and see where it goes. Have also been doing intermittent fasting (16 hour) and that is much harder for me - not eating in the morning. Sending you good vibes, Gary! Have a great weekend.0 -
Happy Samhain Lushes!
Sorry I fell of the face of the earth. Trying times but I survived. I have basically quit drinking. My gut just can't handle it. I had 1 glass of wine last night. Just one. I go weeks without having anything. It is strange but I like myself better and I am feeling better. Not great but better. I have decided that I am going to retire on 6/4/20. So working is really hard when I know I only have 218 calendar days left.
Syd, thank you for picking up the Mama Lush card.
Gary, sorry about your dad. enjoy the time you have left with your Dad.
I will try to be around more.
Love you all!!!!!0 -
Thanks for the kind words Gwen and Robin.
Hi Robin! Its great to hear from you again. I may have to try that no alcohol thing you and Gwen are doing!
Robin- Congratulation on your decision to retire next year! You won't regret it!
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Robin, congrats on your decision to retire! And you and I are on the same alcohol-free path, it seems. Not sure if it will stick but, like you, I feel SO much better without it. How long has it been for you? Just curious (and need the encouragement to keep going!)
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Hi Mama Lush!! Good to hear you're well. Retirement will help even more. Even though my husband's was a forced retirement he's so much happier to be away from that toxic industry. (And he ended up getting the same compensation package as those who retired plus he gets unemployment) Hang in there and please check in when you can!!
Wrapping up a stressful critical fire danger week here. The single digit humidity and high winds has my allergies all f'ed up so I didn't exercise as much as I wanted. Hoping the worst is over. 1 glass of red wine has been my go to.
Have a great weekend everyone!0 -
Gary - so sorry to hear about your dad. Hospice is a Godsend - take care of yourself!
Gwen - I'm doing IF as well but right now I'm doing 14/10 - I figure I'd do that for a while, extend to 15 then slowly push to 16 hours... I hate feeling hungry!
ROBIN! So good to see you and I'm glad you're doing better and feeling better! Congrats on the impending retirement.
I had a 1/2 a beer last night on Halloween, which is a HUGE switch from past years. I've been doing pretty well at cutting back
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Dad, mom and myself went in yesterday to meet with the Dr about hospice. They had neglected to put his appointment on the schedule so, no meeting. Very frustrated. Its hard enough to take this step and then to be told they hadn't set the time for him about made me blow my stack. He has a tentative meeting with the Dr the Friday after this one, but in the meantime they will look for a better Dr. Today I took my dad to Seattle for a followup on throat surgery he had last month. It was a "swallow test" and we meet with the surgeon next week to go over the results. With all the health issues and frustrations with Drs, its no wonder older people give up on living. Going to have a drink or two this evening and hit the sack early.1
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Oh Gary...so frustrating!
The healthcare system can be complicated enough without people failing to do the very basics of their job. One day/issue at a time is the only way to keep your sanity...but that's easier said than done. :flowerforyou:
Birthday celebration for my SIL at the beach yesterday so that meant wine of course. Another birthday party Saturday so my wine consumption hasn't been moderated much this week. Some weeks are better than others and I just refuse to beat myself up about it. (It's the new retired/zen me) 0 -
"Birthday celebration for my SIL at the beach yesterday so that meant wine of course. Another birthday party Saturday so my wine consumption hasn't been moderated much this week. Some weeks are better than others and I just refuse to beat myself up about it. (It's the new retired/zen me) "
Good comment, esp about not beating yourself up about it!
Sydney- Thanks for the support. Taking this a day at a time. I got a well needed good nights sleep last night and feel great. Even been moderating a bit- go figure.1 -
Gary, I am so sorry about your dad! I lost my dad to cancer in 2013 and hospice was to come the next day but he passed. He was only 63 and only lived a year after his diagnosis so I don't think he was ready. He was sort of confused about what hospice meant and in Denver at that time they didn't really have a place, they just thought you would go home and they would give you pain meds and no more life saving care but he didn't want to go home so he stayed at a nursing facility.
All this moderation is inspiring too! I was in Colorado for my lawschool reunion and I tended to over-do it every day and then I sleep poorly and start to feel anxious. It started with the airport Wednesday, 2 drinks at the airport, 1 on the plane. Thursday I had 4 beers, Friday I lost count, Saturday 1 bloody, 5 beers; Sunday 1 beer, Monday, 6 glasses of wine, Tuesday 1 marg and 1 beer. Wednesday=0 and Thursday=0
Maybe we can talk about some strategies for moderating? Do you try to pick non-drinking activities or go an alternate alcoholic with non alcoholic drinks? I have tried no drinking til after dinner because I don't really need to have any before and during so that keeps it a little lower. hiking and movies are good choices for no drinks for me.
Concert tomorrow, a fun local band called Mustache Harbor, they do soft rock covers and call it "yacht rock." I will probably drink there. No other plans for the weekend.
I got Sun Basket for 3 dinners and they have under 600 calorie options, so far they have been pretty good.0 -
Thanks Amy. Loosing your father at 63 is heart breaking. (I am 63 so that makes me appreciate life all the more.)
I took my mom and dad to Virginia Mason Hosp in Seattle Tuesday for a followup on my dads throat surgery. It went well but the traffic was horrendous. What should have been a 65 min trip ended up being 2.5 hours. We left three hours early so made it in time. When we got back that afternoon I took a soak in the tub to relax and promptly fell asleep.
Today at 3pm I will be taking my dad to his doctor to discus hospice. My mom needed a break and will play cards with some of the ladies in the senior place they live at. My dad isn't is need of hospice at the moment but we all think we should learn about what it can offer before he needs it.
I have not been moderating either. I try putting off any alcohol before dinner and that helps, but still need to cut back. More exercise would be good too.0 -
63 is way too young, Amy. I lost my mom at that age.
My aunt was on hospice for over a year. I think many people think it means end of life...and it does in some cases. But hospice offers so much to the entire family. I hope your meeting goes well, Gary. I'll be thinking of you :flowerforyou:
As far as strategies for moderating, I don't think mine will apply to you since I'm retired but I'm the opposite...I stop ALL eating and drinking by 7pm as part of my intermittent fasting. Not drinking in the evening hours before bed has really made me feel SO much better. I may have a glass of wine at lunch and a cocktail at happy hour but no more late night binges. The few occasions I've been drinking after 7 (all social events) I wake up feeling like crap. So I just don't do it any more. I know intermittent fasting doesn't work for many, but for me just knowing I can eat or drink pretty much whatever I want during specific hours (10am-7pm) just makes things simple and easy for me. I feel like those hours off lets my body detox and recover!
Plugging along here. Getting projects done to get our house on the market. Fun, fun!
Have a great weekend, lushes!0 -
The doctor appointment went well. We talked with her for an hour and I took notes. My dad seems relieved that there is a plan in place when its needed.
Syd, I may need to borrow that page out of you playbook about no eating drinking after 7. It just may work for me.0 -
Gary - I'm glad the appointment finally went well. The drive for your fathers surgery sounded awful! But I'm glad that you had a good appointment! Thinking about you and your family.
Amy - 63 is definitely way too young! I'm sorry you lost your dad at such a young age!
When my BIL passed away 3 years ago at 60, I was so sad cause he had so much more life to go. My husband will turn 60 next August and it is bothering him because of his brother so I'm doing my best to keep him up.
Well, I was doing well at moderating but somehow that went out the window and for no real reason. My eating and drinking this past week was atrocious! Back on track today, back to working out tomorrow...
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Hi all! Gary, I'm doing the intermittent fasting, which essentially has ended up being no eating or drinking after 7:30 and then I skip breakfast and eat around 11:30 am. So 8 hour window for eating and drinking. I did go two weeks almost without alcohol and then had friends over and had a few glasses. But overall, I've been only drinking a little here and there and I feel so much better! Not sure if I've lost anything yet. Hope everyone is well!0
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Ann, I had a not so great week too...so I'm cracking down on my eating and exercise. Going to try to get outside today for a hike before we get hit with rain tonight and tomorrow.
Gwen, I bet you've lost weight! Glad the intermittent fasting is working for you.
What are everyone's Thanksgiving plans? Good grief, I can't believe we're wrapping up the year already.
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Thanksgiving this year is going to be interesting... originally we were going to take 3 of our 4 daughter's downtown and go tailgating for our Lions annual football game. We always watch but have never tailgated for the game. Then we found out that none of Ron's other siblings invited his mom and stepdad over for dinner (he has 4 other siblings) and they were just going to go to a restaurant for Thanksgiving dinner. Well, we felt that we couldn't allow that, so we cancelled the tailgating and I'm cooking on Thursday.
Because we were initially going to tailgate, we planned to make dinner on Friday for the 4 daughters - especially since 2 of them couldn't be there all day for dinner of Thursday - so I'm cooking a turkey on Thursday and one on Friday...and drinking!!
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I got anxiety just reading that, Ann!
Sounds like drinking will definitely be necessary :drinker: 0
